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Disappointed

BabyLove4BabyLove4 Posts: 49
edited November -1 in Trying to Conceive
I had been really excited that March was finally here, and I would get to do my first insem. I had originally planned on doing my first try in November, but when my sister passed away in late October, I think the stress and emotions royally messed up my cycles and AF decided to not show until January. Went to the doctor, got put on Clomid. Last month was my first cycle on Clomid and the 50mg didn't make me ovulate. Although all other signs were all in line for ovulation, I never got a temp spike or smiley. Well.... I was going to call and order, (in fact I did talk to Zach and narrowed down my donor list to two available donors yesterday). However, I have been really thinking about it, and there is no real proof that the 100mg of Clomid will make me ovulate. I was going to order the swimmers and hope for the best, and just send them back if I don't ovulate, but I have come to the conclusion that that seems implusive and maybe not the best way to do things. Nor the best way to get the timing etc. Right, especially because I have NO idea what cycle day I will ovulate (if I do). I guess I just thought I could through caution to the wind, have the swimmers here and maybe I would somehow get really lucky. My rational side has vetoed that idea.

So, I am sitting this cycle out. I am really disappointed and frustrated (although I do think I made the right choice). I really thought I was going to be pregnant by now, or at least trying. I just want this so badly and I'm sick of being in this holding pattern. Sorry, didn't mean to get whiney on you guys, but if anybody understands I know you guys will.

Keeping my fingers crossed that the 100mg of Clomid does the job and my holding pattern will finally end!

Thanks for listening and congratulations to all the new BFP!
~Beth

30, SMBC. Dreaming of my beautiful baby....

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    BabyBugsArrivalBabyBugsArrival Posts: 523
    edited November -1
    Just wanted to say hang in there. I know how you feel. I have been trying off and on since August of 2009. I finally got signed up with NW this past June and have been playing the waiting game for a while now. We did an insem in Aug, but did more bloodwork after that failed cycle and I wasn't ovulating. When I called to see a new doctor, he couldn't get me in until November! I was sooo bummed. And of course at that appt I had already started my cycle (by a few days) so we had to wait until December to do our first round of meds. But, my advice is to make note of everything that happens this first cycle! It really is exciting when you start putting all the pieces of the puzzle together and can figure out what (and when) your body is doing its thing. For me, my first 3 months on the meds have been identical so hopefully you'll start seeing those trends and know how to time things better. It's such a relief when you kinda have an idea of when to expect things and you'll feel better next month when you're not flying by the seat of your pants.

    I'm right there with you - the waiting and waiting and waiting SUCKS! And I have always KNOWN that I would be a mommy...I completely believe that God put me on this Earth to care for children....but I didn't rush it, waited til the time was right and now sheesh more waiting. But, you are officially TTC now...so look at it that way! Even if you haven't done the insems yet, you are well on your way!!! I really hope you get great results on the 100mg dosage of Clomid and are officially in the miserable TWW soon (;
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    alp75alp75 Posts: 340
    edited November -1
    I am glad you're comfortable in your decision. I always tend to do things on the fly so I admire your ability to weigh the pros and cons and make practical decisions. Hoping you get your bfp very soon.
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    GoobieGoobie Posts: 3,515
    edited November -1
    *hugs* sorry that you're disappointed, but glad you are comfortable with your choices. Thinking of you.
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    Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013. 6th baby, so much love!
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    LovingMomsLovingMoms Posts: 1,078
    edited November -1
    I understand how you feel. We did 2 home AI's in April and May of last year, both BFN's. Went to Dr to find out that I was not ovulating on my own. I had to take 3 months off to find the right dosage of clomid that would help me ovulate. I started at 50, then to 100, then finally at 150mg clomid I ovulated!!! Then I took one more month off as we had vacation. Since then we have tried 3 AI''s on the 150mg clomid with no success.

    Today I went to the RE and got a lot of good information, which I still have to post; however there is a light at the end of tunnel.

    My prayers are with you and I understand how stressful this time can be. Keep positive and know by waiting, you are waiting to see if your body will ovulate on the clomid. If this dosage does not work, then try the next up. You will get your BFP!!!!
    July 2011 BFP, miscarried at 5 weeks.
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    BabyLove4BabyLove4 Posts: 49
    edited November -1
    Thank you so much for your support!! I think the 100mg of Clomid is making me a bit more emotional and bitchy bc I don't normally get that whiney!! Ha. By the end of this, I am going to be a champion in Patience!

    LovingMoms- I am really glad your RE visit went well! I hope your BFP is right around the corner!! : )
    ~Beth

    30, SMBC. Dreaming of my beautiful baby....
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