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Anyone else??

FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
edited November -1 in Trying to Conceive
As some of you may already know, January was not a successful cycle for us, and we are on to a new try. Unfortunately, this is going to be our last stim cycle for at least a while, due to finances and an ongoing issue with the clinic and my insurance... So far I'm feeling very good this cycle - very positive, and generally just trying to take one day at a time...

We were going to choose a new donor, but I just couldn't settle on one I felt comfortable with - I thought I had made my decision, but when I listened to the audio clip, I really didn't like the sound of his voice, so I vetoed and ended up ordering the same donor again (also the one I was pregnant with). Have any of you ladies with previous miscarriages, gone on to get pregnant again and have a healthy baby by the same donor, or have you had success after switching? The donor we were using felt so right to me in the beginning and we got pregnant on our first try with him, so I know we are compatible - that meant a lot to me. Also knowing the miscarriage had nothing to do with him directly, or the unique combination of us, also made me feel confident in my choice, but after January's failed cycle, my husband thought maybe we should switch, so I started the grueling process of looking again. January was a very weird cycle, so I know the bfn was in no way sperm related... I ended up just feeling that our original choice was still the way to go, so I placed the order.

I guess I'm just looking for positive thoughts, and if anyone has any success with the same donor after miscarriage stories to share - feel free!! :P

I keep logging in to see more BFP's... come on ladies!!! :D
After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

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Comments

  • HeatherAndRaeHeatherAndRae Posts: 1,041
    edited November -1
    Sound of his voice??? NW offers that???!!!

    Or are you using a different bank?
  • merilungmerilung Posts: 1,177
    edited November -1
    heatherandrae - i was wondering that as well!!
    TTC since September 2007 - 8 donor insems in 2012, all BFN. DH had varicocele repair #2 1/3/14.
    It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!
  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    After I had a m/c my OB told me to switch donors I did and got pregnant right away. He was stillborn. My new OB said to switch donors again--even though we did not know why Gavin died. I couldn't do it. I bonded with Gavin and (weirdly) I wanted a full sibling. Again, I got pregnant right away and Beckham was born perfect and healthy. Good luck!!
  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited February 2012
    Aww, thanks LK!! That makes me feel better :) My baby wasn't full term like your son, but he was still very dear to me and I kind of feel like you... attached to him and feel like it would be carrying on his legacy in my heart to have a full sibling to him. (if that makes sense)
    Sound of his voice??? NW offers that???!!!

    Or are you using a different bank?

    I do not use NW, as my clinic works with a specific bank. They offer tons of free stuff for their donors, which includes baby photos, adult silhouette, short audio clip, full audio interview, etc... I have a thing about voices and this particular donor had a lisp (sounded like someone who has a slightly large tongue) and I just didn't want to go with him after that. I know that's weird... please don't judge me. I've just always had a thing with voices.... :/
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

    a3cmlv.jpg
  • merilungmerilung Posts: 1,177
    edited November -1
    flowergirl - hey, we've all got to choose someone based on something! i have a thing for handwriting, myself!
    TTC since September 2007 - 8 donor insems in 2012, all BFN. DH had varicocele repair #2 1/3/14.
    It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!
  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited November -1
    Thanks, merilung, for not judging me! :)
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

    a3cmlv.jpg
  • minnie0672minnie0672 Posts: 1,264
    edited November -1
    I totally get the voice thing :) everyone has to have something that is the factor that keeps them for choosing a donor or else we'd all just make a call and then they give us whomever is next in line :) no judgement here :)

    As for donors...I've had a few miscarriages with the same donor and my doctor encouraged me to switch so I did. I'll let you know how this round goes :)
    6 IUI's resulting in BFN. 7th IUI was the fun one with pregnant...then not...then ectopic at 7 weeks...IVF #1 - miscarriage...IVF #2 miscarriage 5w6d...IVF #3 cancelled due to not growing embryos and pneumonia...IVF# 4 same old story...BFP then miscarriage...this is getting old...onto possibly Donor Egg or Donor Embryo
  • old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682
    edited November -1
    I haven't had any more success than you have but I do understand about wanting certain things in a donor. I figure if I have worked this hard I really want to create a baby of my dreams! I am wishing you lots of good luck this next cycle.
  • CRWHNW0909CRWHNW0909 Posts: 599
    edited November -1
    Hehe. I chuckled when you said the voice didn't sound to you. Nick and I were on love with the donor/pictures/medical history etc. We heard him speak and he spoke through his nose. She immediately said no to that donor.
    May I ask, are you not willing to do at home insems? I wish you luck this next cycle.
    04/11/2011=BFN 06/08/2011=BFN 07/05/2011=BFN 11/25/2011=BFP!!
    Beta 1: 2,489 Beta 2: 5,603 TWINS!!
  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited November -1
    Thank you all for being so sweet ;)

    Minnie, I have everything crossed for you!! I hope switching donors and this try is just what you needed for your forever baby!!

    Old Mama, exactly! If I was in love with an amazing person and they happened to have a "voice thing", it would certainly not stop me from having babies with them, but when you have lists a mile long, can pretty much choose any trait you do or don't want, and are paying an arm and a leg for the chance to 'reproduce' with this particular DNA, I just can't bring myself to pick one with something I sooo don't like :rolleyes: LOL!

    CRWHNW0909, talking through the nose is another perfect example of a voice thing that I can't stand!!! :o And in answer to your question, yes we did home inseminations for almost 2 years, and moved on to IUI with injectables (mini stim) because we weren't getting pregnant. We may try a few more home inseminations if this try fails, but our next major step will be rearranging our lives to be able to afford/try IVF. Don't ever be afraid to ask me questions :) I'd rather you ask then assume!
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

    a3cmlv.jpg
  • OneSmallStepOneSmallStep Posts: 1,685
    edited November -1
    I read somewhere that statistically speaking, 1 in 3 women will have m/c, and it's typically their first time pregnant... I know my sister, mom, step-mom, amongst other females that we know, had m/c's with their first pregnancies, and later went on to get pregnant fairly soon after with all perfectly healthy full term babies. Of course they weren't using donor sperm, but they didn't change their husbands/partners so I'd imagine it's really not much different in the grand scheme of things. Lots of good vibes and sticky baby dust for you!!
    Hubby of kopykat451
    TTC #1 5/16/11 = BFP 14 DPI / TTC #2 11/16/12 = No O; 4/12/13= BFN; 6/9/13 = BFP!! (11 DPI) - MC 5wk5dys / TTC#3 3 BFN's and 4th try 10/21/13 = BFP!!!! (Squinter at 10dpi!)
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  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited November -1
    OSS, thanks! I've thought of that same thing many times, and it also helps reassure me. I'm feeling confident in my decision... let's hope it brings me my forever baby!
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

    a3cmlv.jpg
  • Ms.KateMs.Kate Posts: 1,216
    edited November -1
    Oh I get the voice thing. I've been friends with a guy since we were in diapers. When we were in our teen/college years, he was interested in me in the more than friends way, and it took me a while to realize why I just wasn't: His voice. Wonderful guy, amazing qualities, but I couldn't get past the sound of his voice, try as I might! Happily, he's now married and I am as well (to a man whose voice I love). LOL

    As far as using the same donor, I say go with your gut and hard as it may be, try not to let the m/c cloud your thinking. Like OSS, many women sadly have miscarriages, then go on to deliver healthy babies from the same partner. For instance, I know my mom had four m/c between my oldest sister and my next oldest. Also, you know that your m/c was not a result of the donor or you, so while it's still very sad, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't try again with his goods. I think do what speaks to you. It's a good sign you feel confident in your choice. I can say that if I were in your shoes that is likely what I would choose, too.

    I will be praying and hoping with all my might that this cycle is your sticky BFP that brings you your long awaited baby!
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