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I think we could all use a laugh with the stress of ttc-(part 1)
preciousgift
Posts: 2,191
Hi all... I know this whole ttc process is stressful... So, I dug out some sayings from comedian Steven Wright. I now it is not ttc related (well except one).. but I hope it will make someone smile and erase a little bit of stress even just for a minute.
Hope you enjoy. I have more, but have to type them up....
Steven Wright- Funny Sayings
1. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it is
going to be up all night.
2. For a while, I didn't have a car. I had a helicopter. No place to park it, so
I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running (slow glance upward).
3. I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell, except that when I
leave the house, I always go out the window.
4. I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No
brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
5. I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2 inches taller.
6. When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy
train schedules?"
7. When I turned 2, I was really anxious, because I doubled my age in a year. I
thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm 6, I'll be 90.
8. If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
9. I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So, I
said, "Give me two boys and a girl".(( IF IT WERE ONLY THAT EASY>>>>!!!)
10.When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
11. I had some eyeglasses on. I was walking down the street when suddenly the
prescription ran out.
12. Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow. I got a
new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one, it wasn't doing what I was doing.
I tried to draw my shadow once, but I couldn't, my arm kept moving.
13. I have a map of the United States, actual size. It says, "Scale:1 mile=
1mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full size map of the
world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
14. Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window,look up, and smile for
satellite picture.
15. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I
got some flip-up contact lenses.
Hope you enjoy. I have more, but have to type them up....
Steven Wright- Funny Sayings
1. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it is
going to be up all night.
2. For a while, I didn't have a car. I had a helicopter. No place to park it, so
I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running (slow glance upward).
3. I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell, except that when I
leave the house, I always go out the window.
4. I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No
brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
5. I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2 inches taller.
6. When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy
train schedules?"
7. When I turned 2, I was really anxious, because I doubled my age in a year. I
thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm 6, I'll be 90.
8. If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
9. I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So, I
said, "Give me two boys and a girl".(( IF IT WERE ONLY THAT EASY>>>>!!!)
10.When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
11. I had some eyeglasses on. I was walking down the street when suddenly the
prescription ran out.
12. Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic. I mimic my shadow. I got a
new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one, it wasn't doing what I was doing.
I tried to draw my shadow once, but I couldn't, my arm kept moving.
13. I have a map of the United States, actual size. It says, "Scale:1 mile=
1mile." I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full size map of the
world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, "E6".
14. Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window,look up, and smile for
satellite picture.
15. I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I
got some flip-up contact lenses.
...........................
Trying again soon ..................................0
Comments
Together since 5/30/2009 In Love Since We Met
I'm on your left, DP on your right (I will carry)
1st attempt will be 3/2012 So Excited