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No beginners luck for me...

aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
edited May 2012 in Our Train of Hope
Let me start by saying that this whole process has completly humbled me. I have a new found respect for anyone who has traveled this road before me. TTC is no joke. The emotional rollercoaster is something I really thought i was prepared for and strong enough to handle with grace. Boy was I wrong. I now understand why some couples choose to keep everything top secret until they are almost showing. Nothing worst than laying in bed bawling your eyes out and getting several text asking if it 'worked yet'. Those looks of sympathy are enough to make you wanna punch your best friend AND your mom square in the face lol. And I was arrogant enough to start a youtube channel documenting every step... and then had the nerve to leave everyone hanging while I 'figured things out'. I never thought I would feel this way. I will never start testing that early again (7dpo). I went through about $80 worth of those things before I accepted there was a line but it was just an indent. Damn FRERs.

I'm ready to move on to next cycle, picked a new donor and I am glad that last cycle taught me not to put to much energy into that. I was able to narrow it down to 2 guys with in about 30 mins instead of the month and 1/2 process I went through last time. And the learning continues. I know everything happens for a reason. Here's to all the mommas in the making. If no one else feels your pain, I do.
2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!

Comments

  • im2tsim2ts Posts: 76
    edited November -1
    Sorry :( I just left a did you pee yet on your youtube. I am ready to cry my eyes out myself. I am trying myself and the meds aren't working. I started the same day you did your insems. I hope you have better news for next month. (((Hugs)))
    38.gif2sgn096spell.gif
    Gabrielle hopeful mommy someday!!!! RIP Donor Embryos
    Going to Prague Czeck Republic for egg donor and sperm donor cycle in Oct.
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    im2ts wrote:
    Sorry :( I just left a did you pee yet on your youtube. I am ready to cry my eyes out myself. I am trying myself and the meds aren't working. I started the same day you did your insems. I hope you have better news for next month. (((Hugs)))
    It is all good, thanx for the support. I am praying for both of us this upcoming cycle. BFPs for everyone!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • belljason92belljason92 Posts: 6
    edited November -1
    Let me start by saying that this whole process has completly humbled me. I have a new found respect for anyone who has traveled this road before me. TTC is no joke. The emotional rollercoaster is something I really thought i was prepared for and strong enough to handle with grace. Boy was I wrong. I now understand why some couples choose to keep everything top secret until they are almost showing. Nothing worst than laying in bed bawling your eyes out and getting several text asking if it 'worked yet'. Those looks of sympathy are enough to make you wanna punch your best friend AND your mom square in the face lol. And I was arrogant enough to start a youtube channel documenting every step... and then had the nerve to leave everyone hanging while I 'figured things out'. I never thought I would feel this way. I will never start testing that early again (7dpo). I went through about $80 worth of those things before I accepted there was a line but it was just an indent. Damn FRERs.

    I'm ready to move on to next cycle, picked a new donor and I am glad that last cycle taught me not to put to much energy into that. I was able to narrow it down to 2 guys with in about 30 mins instead of the month and 1/2 process I went through last time. And the learning continues. I know everything happens for a reason. Here's to all the mommas in the making. If no one else feels your pain, I do.

    I know in such situations support plays very important role, keep trying, done lose your hope, wish you good luck.
  • TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481
    edited November -1
    I know how you feel and I sure hope that you get your bfp soon!!! DP and I tried 3 cycles at home, only to find out she was not ovulating on her own, she would get a +OPK so we would time our insems off that but never got pregnant. We went to the obgyn to have cd3 and cd21 bloodwork done and that is when we found out she wasn't ovulating. So they put her on clomid 50mg to start, didn't work, then 100mg, that didn't work either, so then she went on 150mg, and it worked. We tried 4 more times at home, all bfn''s. The obgyn referred us to an RE. Found out from the RE that DP thyroid level was a little too high for TTC, it was within normal range for everyday life but if you are TTC they like it to be below 2.5 and her's was 2.9 I believe. She was put on levothyroxin for that. Once her levels were fine we got the ok to TTC again. This time we also included the trigger shot into the mix. Our first IUI at the RE was a bfn but our second attempt was a BFP :) although at 5wks and 3days she miscarried our little angel :( . We have taken almost a year off of TTC. This Friday we go back to the RE to let her know we are ready to get back in the game and try again. Hopefully everything will check out fine an we will be TTC again in August :D

    It is hard seeing a bfn and I understand your eagernesss at wanting to test early but please don't put yourself through that torture. If ya need someone to vent to or talk to or anything you can send me a forum email or pm me if you would like!!!

    Good luck and lots of sticky baby dust to you this next cycle!!!!
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    Thank you so much for the kind words. Nothing better than knowing how you feel is completely normal.... I am glad you guys are gonna take another crack at TTC and hope you get the news you are hoping for when you go to your appt. Dp and I have agreeded on the number of times we will try at home before seeking help and I have began researching RE offices in the area just in case, we can be prepared. Looking back I feel like a drama queen for taking it so hard but I was just really excited and hopeful, nothing wrong with that right?!? I promise to NEVER start testing that early again. I will definitely be much more cautious this time in regard to that as well as checking for "symptoms". I learned my lesson and am really focusing on relaxation this time around. Thank you for the listening. I will definitely keep you in mind when I need to vent you can do the same. ***BABYDUST***
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    @belljason92 Thank you.... I will stay encouraged and focused. Be blessed.
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    So... we are back at it again!! I tried to update this from my phone lastnight while I was propped up but EVERYTHING is harder to do that way lol! I am 1dpi/0dpo today and feeling good... ALOT calmer than last cycle. I don't plan to test for quite some time. I have been making what I call "gaybie" blankets for myself and a couple of my ttc friends to help past the time, keep me in my happy place and it seems to really be helping. Poppa (DP) is now a pro at inseming, even at the butt crack of dawn:P and I can now relax to the point of facebooking while she does her "thing". I do not plan on paying attention to how many days it has been or symptoms AT ALL. Been there, done that, learned my lesson. I have been blessed with some AWSOME cheerleaders this go 'round and all have promised to not put so much pressure on me;). We are really hoping for our BFP this cycle but if not (in the words of my grandma) hallelujah anyhow!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • im2tsim2ts Posts: 76
    edited November -1
    Fingers crossed!!! No asking this time :cool:
    38.gif2sgn096spell.gif
    Gabrielle hopeful mommy someday!!!! RIP Donor Embryos
    Going to Prague Czeck Republic for egg donor and sperm donor cycle in Oct.
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    So, I was a good girl and waited to test.... ended up getting beat to the punch by AF LOL!! Taking it alot better than I did last cycle but deciding to see a RE before going any further. I would hate to continue at home insems just to find out there is a problem that could have been addressed sooner and that I have wasted alot of money, time, poss. BFP cycles and hope on a dead end. Feeling a little anxious and nervous bc this is the last thing i wanted but at this point I want a baby so bad, I am willing to do just about anything. Keep us in your prayers and I will update with more info soon!! :)
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited July 2012
    Wow! It has been a loong time since I have been on here!! And a lot has changed... So I went to the Re (who is AWESOME by the way and opens about an hour and a half before I have to be to work!!) and found out that not only am I 40lbs heavier than I thought I was :/ but after some bloowork I also discovered that I have an auto-immune thryoid condition called hasimoto. Not only was that bit of info a shocker but it also explained alot. I have always been super exhusted, even if I spent the entire day in bed and felt like I had only taken a nap after a full nights rest. These are things I just blamed on the amount of hours I work. It also explained the hair shedding, dry skin, brittle nails... things I never would have put together. So my Dr put me on a med called levothyroxine to help balance my hormones and put me on the sidlines for July. I was kinda bummed about not being able to try but super bummed about having this condition and not even feeling "sick". I am still very greatful that I did go to the RE instead of just continuing to try at home.
    I just had a follow up appointment yesterday where the Dr did more blood work to check my progestrone levels which would decide whether or not I will have to take clomid and informed me that we will check my thyroid levels again in about 2 months. I thought that meant we wouldn't be trying until then but she gave us the GREEN LIGHT!!! :D So, the next step is to get my swimteam ordered (we are going with a diff bank bc the RE only works with 2 particular banks and it would take a lot to get them approved for NW) and call her on CD1 so we can do my very first follie scan!! I am still trying to adjust but am excited about this upcoming cycle!! Keep us both in your thoughts and parayers and I will be sure to keep you all updated!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    I thought I updated this already but looks like I forgot to save it :D any ways, I got my :) a day late this cycle (CD15) around 2pm and poppa and I went in for our IUI the following morning at 7:30am. I was super nervous with this being my first time insemming with the RE and my first IUI but it was really a breeze, I didn't feel a thing! The Dr said that my sample had 11.3 million little swimmers and I am hoping one of them gets the job done!! After the insem we hung out in the room for about 15mins, inserted a soft cup and then headed to work. Everything has been business as usual so far besides a few weird dreams (I met Usher, took some pictures, shared some hot wings, refused his strip tease and requested bleu cheese instead lol!!) and some cramping. I am 4dpiui today and af is due on 8/21... I will keep you girls posted!!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682
    edited November -1
    Good Luck! I am glad you took that step and went to the RE perhaps everything is taken care of and it will be smooth sailing for you. I sure hope so!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    Thanx soooo much old mama!! I am hoping so too... I did forget to mention that she put me on crinone bc my progestrone level was a little low the last time it was tested. FX!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    Welll, another BFN!! I had a little of spotting on 8/18 (12DPO) so we decided to test that night when I got home. Af showed right on time 8/21 . Went in for a CD3 baseline before starting the clomid yesterday morning (8/23) and got super nervous and emotional :/ Dr decided to draw more blood to check my thyroid levels and I had to get poked three times before we finally got blood. This made me even more emotional only to be informed by the Dr that she thinks she may have found a small cyst on my right ovary. Said sometimes it happens after ovulation and may clear up on its own, wants to re-check it when I go back in for my CD11 scan (8/31). Got my prescrition for clomid (50mg) and started that last night, so far no side-effects. Taking that days CD3-7. Not triggering but gonna opk until positive, IUI next morning and blood draw a week later to recheck progestone levels. Not sure if we are still gonna be using crinone but can guess we will.... will update soon!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • LuckyinkentuckyLuckyinkentucky Posts: 41
    edited November -1
    This is a very tough process, keep your head up!
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  • TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481
    edited November -1
    I was just reading your updates and was wondering how you are doing. We are on a break until DW decides when/if she wants to try again. Keeping you in my thoughts
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    :D HEY EVERYONE :D!! Sorry I have been M.I.A. lately but things got kinda crazy there for a while lol! I ended up having to cancel last cycle (my first clomid cycle) due to Hurricane Isaac :(. That wasn't fun AT ALL to deal with but was the best thing to do in the situation. We evacuated to Memphis for a few days and came back to no power, minor roof damage and no flooding (THANK GOD)!!
    On to this month: I took 50mg of clomid again, Cd5-9 and found out that I had 2 follies at my CD10 scan that measured 16 and 12.5mm. On CD14 at 10pm I got super crampy and decided to take an OPK and got a :)! I called my Dr. expecting to get an answering service but she answered!! She said she wanted to do an early morning insem so we met her at the clinic at 6:30am the next morning. That was yesterday and I am now 1DPIUI!! I am really excited and hopeful but trying to not put to much pressure on myself.
    Poppa and I have decided that if this cycle doesn't work that we are going to take a break until after New Years and my Dr. has recommended a HSG. Keep your fingers crossed for us!!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited October 2012
    The craziest thing happened 2 days ago.... WE GOT OUR BFP!!!!! :D:D:D I did have a few sympotoms but have learned from past cycles to not get so wrapped up in every little possibility. It was 12dpiui when I felt like I just couldn't wait to test any longer. (click this link to see my video on youtube http://youtu.be/vLqk3tKa4x4 ) Poppa and I are soo over the moon and feel soo blessed to be here! *BABYDUST* to all that need it...
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • MommyAndMamaMommyAndMama Posts: 100
    edited November -1
    Awww, your link is broken, BUT CONGRATS!!!
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  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    Awww, your link is broken, BUT CONGRATS!!!

    Just fixed the link but THANX SOO MUCH!!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
  • destinydestiny Posts: 723 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Congrats again ladies so thrilled for yall. :D
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  • TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481
    edited November -1
    Just wanted to say congrats. So happy for you!!
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I know this is relatively "old" (and I can see that your ticker says you're full term now!), but I have to tell you that it was SO FUN to watch your video. That anticipation is like no other, and your nephew is adorable. :) I hope you're all doing well!
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  • Jen727BFJen727BF Posts: 2,304
    edited November -1
    She had her baby at 37 weeks!
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    TTC No. 2 since Aug. 2014; IVF #1 - Cxld; IVF #2 - BFN
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Awesome! Thanks! :)
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  • aintthatamothaaintthatamotha Posts: 47
    edited November -1
    EMG_REL wrote:
    I know this is relatively "old" (and I can see that your ticker says you're full term now!), but I have to tell you that it was SO FUN to watch your video. That anticipation is like no other, and your nephew is adorable. :) I hope you're all doing well!

    Thanx soo much for checking on us and yes, I delivered Brooklyn Eliza at 37 weeks ( 6 lbs 3 oz 18 1/2 in)!! We found out at 35 weeks that she was breech & I ended up having to have a c-section. For a full labor & delivery story check out my YouTube channel under the same name, aintthatamotha. I also have weekly updates on the baby there.. I will be sure to tell Justin you say hello, he has since lost his two bottom teeth SOOOOO cute lol!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
    5/12 At home cycle #1 (3 vials): BFN 6/12 At home cycle #2 (2 vials): BFN 7/12 Found RE/ took cycle off 8/12 Unmed/ IUI #1: BFN 9/12 Clomid/ IUI: cancelled due to Hurricane Isaac 10/12 Clomid/IUI #2:BFP!!!!!!
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