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How to stay calm???

TheMysticalOneTheMysticalOne Posts: 849 ✭✭
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
So I've carefully made my way over to this side once again. However, I can't help but be super nervous this time. After having my miscarriage back in April my entire mindset about pregnancy has changed. There's no more positive thoughts, there's only worry and anxiousness. I lost my last baby at 7 weeks and I'm not even at 5 now. Can't help but worry constantly. Always wondering if what I'm doing at work is too much. Always comparing my symptoms today to yesterdays. For example: I think my boobs may have been more sore yesterday than they are today. It makes me think of last time when I began to lost symptoms and then started to spot. So far, no bleeding this time, but I'm constantly worried.

I work in retail and am on my feet from 6 hours (which I don't think is too bad) to sometimes almost 9 (which worries me). I'm also taking a lot of stairs in the stockroom. Always worried about if I'm overdoing it.

How do you possibly stay positive and calm in early pregnancy, especially after a previous loss? This seems to be very hard for me. I WANT to be happy for this pregnancy, but all I feel is worry. :(


  • mommylovemommylove Posts: 1,582
    edited November -1
    Having had two miscarriages prior to conceiving our son we certainly understand. I will say that all you can do is focus on that baby and there is absolute proof that a growing fetus thrives far more in its Mothers body if you are happy, calm, and healthy. Just try your best to wake every single day and find those positives...for your little one. It will get easier with time.
    October 2014


  • TheMysticalOneTheMysticalOne Posts: 849 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    No I haven't had any testing done. I do think that getting such a late positive the first time around had something to do with it. It's just so unusual to not get a positive until 17DPO. This time I got my positive at 13DPO (it could have been earlier, but I was too afraid to test earlier!!).

    I guess all I can do now is try to distract myself. I'm sure worrying isn't helping any. I think once I get past the first trimester I'll feel a lot better. Sad to say I want to fast forward to the throwing up part. LOL!!

    I was having a bad morning (I'll blame it on hormones, yes!) And I suppose all I can do is wait and try to stay as positive as possible. Thanks for listening to my rant mommylove & 2 momsinseattle. Sometimes it's good to talk to the only people who understand. :)
  • cocolibbycocolibby Posts: 385
    edited November -1
    You're right, you know, about the 17 dpo thing. Late implanters do have a tendency not to do well.

    Will you have an early u/s? Seeing the heartbeat at 7w2d alleviated SO much of my anxiety, especially when the doctor told me that I then had a 96-97% chance of taking home a baby.
  • ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    After a m/c, you're just a little ... jaded ... the next time. The joy is still there but so is fear. I don't know about staying calm but for me I made the most out of every milestone. Passing the point of the first mis was huge. For me that was when I saw the HB for the first time. There were many times that I felt panicky, and a couple of legitimate scares along the way. But you just take it one day -- or one milestone -- at a time. I loved the "What to Expect When Your Expecting" book. And my pregnancy ticker with different little updates as the baby grew. I still remember the colors of the flower when I had my m/c (red) ... and how happy I was to get to the next flower (white) the second time around!
  • TheMysticalOneTheMysticalOne Posts: 849 ✭✭
    edited August 2012
    I think the thing that bothers me the most is that with my miscarriage I went to the hospital and they decided that even though there was a little blood everything looked "normal". They didn't give me any progesterone or do anything. I had a very bad experience with that hospital and with the PA that saw me. She acted as if I was a waste of her time. They DID do an ultrasound though and that was the only "happy" ultrasound I had. They showed me my baby and I saw the heartbeat. Then they sent me home. Second ultrasound was a "threatened miscarriage" and the last they saw "no pregnancy".

    I really don't even think that seeing an ultrasound will help me a lot, since the other baby had a heartbeat and everything. I know they say most pregnancies with a heartbeat go on to be full term, but I don't think that's very legit considering so many of us have had losses after the 6 week mark.

    But anyway, yeah I think it's just a matter of time. I will probably be better after the first trimester. I think as long as I'm not spotting I'm feeling pretty good. I'm just praying that I have no bleeding this time because I will be just devastated. But so far so good and I'm hoping it stays that way! I'm having a lot of symptoms much more and earlier this time than I did last time. I've been extremely bloated still and my boobs are hurting (which didn't happen until 6 weeks last time). So hopefully everything will be okay.

    I know a lot of people would probably tell me to just enjoy my pregnancy, but I kind of wish I could just fast foward it to a "safe zone", if there is such a thing!
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