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Miscarriage/preterm labor/stillborn 16w5d

WannabeasinglemamaWannabeasinglemama Posts: 969 ✭
edited November -1 in Miscarriage/Loss
It's been 2 weeks and 1 day since I lost my baby Landon. :( I received his ashes on Tuesday in this tiny urn. I've been doing Google searches like crazy, but can't find anyone that has my same story. All stories I find are either women who found no heartbeat at an US appointment, women who had no contractions at all and just passed a baby, or some who slowly started to leak amniotic fluid.

My story: At about 16w it felt like I had a bowling ball in my uterus. The pressure was unbelievable. At 16w4d I felt weird twinges and had brown spotting all day. I had an OB appt and when I went in, my CM turned pink with a spot of red. OB did an internal and saw blood from cervix and scheduled an US next day to check cervical length. Didn't make it that long.

That night at 1:30am I started having mild contractions. They lasted 35-45 seconds and came every 3-5 minutes. They felt like strong "bowl movement" pains. On a pain scale, maybe a 3 or 4. No serious pain. I went to ER at 4:30am.

When I got there we heard HB on Doppler. Pain got a smidge worse. 4-5 scale. Then my water BURST! I felt insane bubble pressure on my bowel and then it popped. :( Pain then went to a 5-6. (Still no pain meds). Shortly after I felt more fluid. Now it was blood. Did a Doppler, no HB. Doc felt fetal tissue, and I passed him with the next contraction or two. I had no more contractions after this. Just had to pass placenta. It was THEN that they offered Dilaudid. I accepted it just to feel "numb." Since I felt no more contractions, I just decided to push, and then I expelled everything else. Sigh. He lay between my legs for about 30-45 minutes until they took him away.

So, I guess the question in all this is why does someone who supposedly has a normal pregnancy go into preterm labor? OB said I had no infection and didn't have an incompetent cervix bc I had contractions.

Has anyone here had this happen? Contractions, water break, delivery in their second trimester, but never knew there was a prior problem? This happened all so fast!

When I get up the energy I will pick up pathology report at hospital. Those things rarely give answers, but we shall see. I have decided I do want to try again, although I'll be an anxiety ridden mess. I have a consult with a high risk OB first that my friends used and said he was amazing and mega proactive. Not sure "when" I will go back to RE, but know I want to try again.
Nicole-SMBC-39y/o-TTC since Jan. 2013
IUI~BFP (BORN STILL) AT 16w5d 4/3/14
Chemicals~IUI 7/24/14;8/21;BFNs~9/25;10/19;IVF#1-2/21/15~No embies made to blast.
IVF#2-BFP~4/16 trans. 2 embies
MIdqadD.jpgMIdqm5.png
mf0Km4.png

Comments

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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    My brother and sister-in-law had this happen to them, they lost their son at 23 weeks. No warning, nothing.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish these things never happened.
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    islandmoms2bislandmoms2b Posts: 254
    edited November -1
    This must be so traumatic. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you can find peace.
    6 tríes in 2013-2014 ...... all BFNs
    FET of 2 DE July. 2015....BFP!!! 1st beta 734! 2nd beta 1,881!
    Expecting TWINS!! Woah!!
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    WannabeasinglemamaWannabeasinglemama Posts: 969 ✭
    edited November -1
    K&H wrote:
    My brother and sister-in-law had this happen to them, they lost their son at 23 weeks. No warning, nothing.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish these things never happened.

    Did they ever get a "reason"?
    Nicole-SMBC-39y/o-TTC since Jan. 2013
    IUI~BFP (BORN STILL) AT 16w5d 4/3/14
    Chemicals~IUI 7/24/14;8/21;BFNs~9/25;10/19;IVF#1-2/21/15~No embies made to blast.
    IVF#2-BFP~4/16 trans. 2 embies
    MIdqadD.jpgMIdqm5.png
    mf0Km4.png
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    mysweetangelmysweetangel Posts: 239
    edited November -1
    I am so sorry for your loss. I know right now those words are not enough!

    My sister in law had this happen twice. The first baby boy ways born at 23 weeks and lived for about 12 hours. About a year later it happened again with a baby girl, again right at 23 weeks, she did make it. The doctors claimed that she didn't have an incompetent cervix either and there was never an explanation as to why it happened either time.
    Try #1 BFP at 9DPO!
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    TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I went into labor with my youngest daughter on April 23, 1987, at almost 24 weeks. No warning or anything. I was in the shower getting ready for the ob appt I had that afternoon. I all of a sudden started bleeding, really heavy bright red blood. I called my ob and they told me to go straight to the hospital. As soon as I got there my ob was waiting for me at the er entrance with an ultrasound machine. They did the ultrasound on the way up to labor and delivery. Baby had a heartbeat but he seen that my up and down incision on my uterus from the c section I had just had 1 year and 3 days prior was about to rupture so they took me straight to the OR for an emergency c section. Evelyn Darlene lived for 26 hours and died in my arms the next afternoon. No explanation why it happened. I went into premature labor with all of my children. My oldest was born at 36 weeks, my twins were born at 30 weeks, Evie at 24 weeks and Zachrey at 34 weeks.
    I hope you get some answers, I wish I had.
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    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
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    RedHeatherRedHeather Posts: 600 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have an online acquaintance who lost her son to preterm labor at 21 weeks. They tried to stop the labor but were unsuccessful. He was stillborn, but I'm assuming they must have heard a heart beat in the beginning before they attempted to stop the labor. As far as I know she was never given a reason why it happened, and she is about to start TTC again.
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    lsaeedrnlsaeedrn Posts: 382
    edited November -1
    First and foremost, I'm very sorry for your loss. I, unfortunately, too have had the heart wrenching experience of loosing not only one but three babies under the same set of circumstances. First at 19 weeks, second at 17 and third at 16. All under the same doctor who said I DIDN'T have incompetent cervix. I switched to another doctor had cerclages at 12 weeks with two subsequent pregnancies and ended up delivering them at 36 weeks. I say all of this to say get a second opinion. Even if your case is completely different than mine it's better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes doctors who really have no experience in preterm labor or incompetent cervix really don't look at the whole picture before ruling something out. I ended up going to a fetal maternal specialist. Who said in spite of there being contractions I had I competent cervix...boy was she right!!
    Me(39) SMBC
    Tubal ligation(1999), Adenomyosis, Endometriosis
    DS (19 week preemie) DS (24 week preemie) ^^IC^^ Daughter(19) and Son(14) ^^FET #1: BFP...7 week mc (triplets). FET#2: March 2015(chemical) IVF #3: April 2015
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    WannabeasinglemamaWannabeasinglemama Posts: 969 ✭
    edited November -1
    lsaeedrn wrote:
    First and foremost, I'm very sorry for your loss. I, unfortunately, too have had the heart wrenching experience of loosing not only one but three babies under the same set of circumstances. First at 19 weeks, second at 17 and third at 16. All under the same doctor who said I DIDN'T have incompetent cervix. I switched to another doctor had cerclages at 12 weeks with two subsequent pregnancies and ended up delivering them at 36 weeks. I say all of this to say get a second opinion. Even if your case is completely different than mine it's better to be safe than sorry. Sometimes doctors who really have no experience in preterm labor or incompetent cervix really don't look at the whole picture before ruling something out. I ended up going to a fetal maternal specialist. Who said in spite of there being contractions I had I competent cervix...boy was she right!!

    So sorry for all your losses. :(

    Most def when I see my high risk doc will I inquire about a cerclage and P17 shots. All that I've read online points to an IC as my contractions were mild. I'm praying that I will be able to get pg again.
    Nicole-SMBC-39y/o-TTC since Jan. 2013
    IUI~BFP (BORN STILL) AT 16w5d 4/3/14
    Chemicals~IUI 7/24/14;8/21;BFNs~9/25;10/19;IVF#1-2/21/15~No embies made to blast.
    IVF#2-BFP~4/16 trans. 2 embies
    MIdqadD.jpgMIdqm5.png
    mf0Km4.png
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    WannabeasinglemamaWannabeasinglemama Posts: 969 ✭
    edited November -1
    RedHeather wrote:
    I have an online acquaintance who lost her son to preterm labor at 21 weeks. They tried to stop the labor but were unsuccessful. He was stillborn, but I'm assuming they must have heard a heart beat in the beginning before they attempted to stop the labor. As far as I know she was never given a reason why it happened, and she is about to start TTC again.

    With all this "technology" nowadays they can't give a grieving mother a reason. Pisses me off.
    Nicole-SMBC-39y/o-TTC since Jan. 2013
    IUI~BFP (BORN STILL) AT 16w5d 4/3/14
    Chemicals~IUI 7/24/14;8/21;BFNs~9/25;10/19;IVF#1-2/21/15~No embies made to blast.
    IVF#2-BFP~4/16 trans. 2 embies
    MIdqadD.jpgMIdqm5.png
    mf0Km4.png
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    KTZKTZ Posts: 1,240
    edited November -1
    I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you get some answers.
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