D&C vs natural miscarriage

emlklg444

Please help. I have to make this painful decision that I know too many others have gone through. I can either wait & let nature take its course, take oral meds to help the process along, or have a d & c. My rational brain tells me to do the d & c because it will make sure all the tissue is cleared & the recovery time is shorter. However, my emotional brain tells me to just let nature take it's course however painful and long that may be. Also, there is a risk of scarring from the d & c and I don't want to jeopardize any future tic attempts. For those of you who've been there, what did you do? thanks in advance.

hopeful2014

I chose to do a D&C (before we knew I had an ectopic) because I wanted it to be over and I was afraid of what I'd see and how long it would take if I let it happen naturally. I was under general anesthesia and I had zero problems with it. I'd make the same choice if I had to over again. I took the next day off work but I felt okay enough physically that I could have gone.

I'm very sorry for your loss and that you're having to make this decision.

keepingfaith

I did natural and as I normally pass golfball sized clots during my cycle, there was not really much difference from a normal cycle for me.

old mama

I didn't have D&Cs with my miscarriages. Mine too were just like a heavy period. More painful cramping perhaps. My dr. didn't even offer them unless you were at least 12 weeks along. I am sorry for your loss.

K&H

I chose natural, way too much fear of scarring and complications with anesthesia for me. I was almost 12 weeks, and it was painful. My friend who was 8wks also chose natural and hers was more of a consistent crampy ache and that was it. She didn't miss any work tho she might have chosen to take a day off just to rest if it hadn't been a Saturday.
I had ten days of bleeding like a period, but after the first two days it wasn't unmanageable. And the first two days were heavy bleeding when I would go to the bathroom, but not too bad otherwise.
There was also a hormonal crash a few days after that I've heard some folks who do a d&c don't get. I can't speak to that for sure. But for me, the hormone shift was reassuring, that my body knew what to do to take care of me, you know? For some reason for me going naturally made it easier to think about that one in a million shot that something had been wrong with the embryo and not me.. If that makes any sense. The natural course helped me not hate my body and myself and was healing, in a way.

jennanderson

With my early loss I had a natural m/c, the bleeding started and that's how I realized it was happening. I did take the pill they offered to compete the process faster as I was only 6 weeks.

With my DS at 16.5 weeks, I choose to wait for nature and essentially went into labor, he was born still. I could have had a d&c but I was too connected to him to do that, personally. He has a little grave site and I choose to bury him rather than have the hospital take him away as "medical waste". Because he's my son, not just a miscarraige, you know? I did have to have an ultrasound to make sure all the tissue and placenta had passed, which was hard as it was done in a regular pregnancy ultrasound office.

Obviously this is just what was best for me. Everyone will have a decision that is best for them for whatever reason. I hope that no matter what you decide, you find peace. You may like some of the articles on Still Standing. It has been a great resource for me.

Wishing you peace and happiness.

MNmommas

DW's first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, we went for an u/s at 9w3d and saw that our baby had stopped growing at 9d and did not have a heartbeat. It was horrible.

DW decided that she wanted to let her body "heal itself" so to speak and wait for the miscarriage to come. I think for us, at that time, it was definitely the best choice. It took about a month, which honestly was kind of difficult. But then she went into labor, like a very "mini" version of labor anyways, and completed the miscarriage in the comfort of our home. We buried our baby & tissues and it was incredibly healing for her (and for me as well). It helped her regain trust in her body and she felt her strength. She was happy to have avoided the possibility of scar tissue that comes with the D/C. The very next time that we TTC, DW got pregnant right away.

So, so sorry that you & your family are going through this heartbreaking experience. *Hugs*

emlklg444

Thank you for all the wonderful uplifting responses... as yet I have no bleeding but have been cramping mildly off and on. I'm wondering why my doctor didn't offer any medications to speed up this process. I think if there's any tissue to collect, we will save it & have a burial. This was the start of a human being, our baby, our daughter's sister or brother...and he/she deserves to be honored.

MNmommas

Your doctor may not have offered medications because you are slightly more at risk of having some tissue left behind when you start your miscarriage using the pills, so you'd be more at risk of needing a D/C to get anything that remains. That was the main reason why using meds to help the m/c come sooner wasn't an option for us.

emlklg444

I went to see my Chinese medicine doctor today and she gave me some herbal tablets to take every four hours to get things moving... I hope this works!!

K&H

Watch out for pain with the Chinese meds. You can proactively take ibuprofen and drink caffeine to help lessen the pain.

Wannabeasinglemama

My MC was natural, but I had no choice. So sorry for your loss. xoxo

emlklg444

Nothing yet....still waiting. I hate this...soooo not fair that any of us have to endure losing our babies that we wanted so badly when there are women out there having abortions & getting pregnant "by mistake". But who am I to judge, I suppose.
Thanks for the continued support everyone.

Zen

Some time has elapsed so I hope that you are past m/c and recovering. In your situation when u/s following BFP showed no heartbeat, I went the d&c route. I was asleep for the procedure and back home in just a few hours. With your cruise on the horizon, if your body has not proceeded on its own, I would definitely recommend the medical-intervention route.

emlklg444

For those following~~ I went through with the Cytotec on 9/2 & bled pretty heavily the first week or so... I know I passed the gestational sac the 1st night after taking the meds... the physical pain wasn't too bad, maybe a 4/10 (with Labor pain being 10/10)...managed with ibuprofen. The emotional pain was much worse. I bled for about 14 days...lightly by the time we went on the cruise. I've been tracking my temps and I've had a thermal shift upward indicating I may have ovulated about 18 days after the initial bleeding started... waiting now for AF to begin & to track the next cycle... back to the drawing board so to speak. Doing acupuncture & chinese herbs to prep for the next time we TTC, hopefully Nov. or Dec. So that's where I'm at now

K&H

I'm so sorry for all of the emotional pain, I definitely get what you mean. I'm glad the physical pain wasn't too bad and didn't impede your enjoyment of your cruise. It sounds like you're back on track at least, even if it is at the very beginning again.

emlklg444

I ended up having a D&C on Oct. 27th 2014 because hcg was still near 40. Turns out there was still placenta hanging on in my uterus. Really wish I'd just insisted on the D&C in the first place!!