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Getting out of a funk

K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
edited November -1 in Miscarriage/Loss
Christmas was a year since our loss, and we are no closer to another baby than we were then. I was so sure we would at least be pregnant by now. I am definitely in a funk about it. All I think about is not being pregnant, not having a baby, when will we have a baby, how long will this take, will we ever have more kids, what can I do to get and stay pregnant, etc etc..
How do I get out of the funk? We aren't ttc exactly right this moment, probably waiting for Ivf.. So how do I just let it go for now and stop obsessing about it?


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    mausandlodiemausandlodie Posts: 312 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm so sorry. I remember that feeling and it was the worst. We were so ready to make Henry a big brother and had always planned to start TTC when he was 18 months old - we figured it would take less than 6 months since second babies are supposed to be easier to conceive and we'd already made our share of rookie mistakes... but it took us 12 tries to conceive the baby we lost. Thankfully, we only had to wait one cycle after our loss before conceiving again, but that whole year of TTC was really tough. I found that Henry was my best distraction - playing with him helped me to realize how much I already had and recognize that it was actually possible for us to get pregnant. Maybe take E for a special day out with you - we call them "Magical Mystery Tours" around here because I was raised by hippies LOL - or just go to the park and run around.

    It's also really important to allow yourself to be miserable if that's how you feel. Sometimes we all have to sit for a while in our dark places and acknowledge that they are a valid part of who we are. I'm not saying wallow - just don't force yourself to bury those feelings.
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    merryshannonmerryshannon Posts: 503
    edited November -1
    *hugs* I identify with this so much - took us a year to get our first BFP, and it was such a LONG year full of setbacks and waiting and waiting and waiting. One of the things I was most happy about was the feeling that the wait was over and life was finally going to move forward... and that is making the loss all the more difficult. Knowing we have to wait for months before we can even make another try is driving me crazy.

    I was so sure that 2015 was going to be our year, and that by Christmas we'd have a baby in our family. And with our BFP I was over the moon thinking surely it was our turn at last. So I completely get where you're coming from. I don't know that I can offer any good advice on distracting oneself from it, as I'm still trying to figure out how to do that myself. All I can think about is when will we get to try again? Will it work the next time? Do we have any chance at a 2015 baby? Are we going to be going through this for another year? Can we even afford to try more than once this year? Are we going to run out of money without ever seeing a baby?

    It's awful. And I can't seem to find joy or distraction in any of the things in my life, even things I used to love. It's like all the color has gone out of the world. Right now I'm trying to focus on the things I HAVE to do, work and chores and whatnot. At least then I'm busy, if not happy, and it makes the days go by faster.

    I do envy you guys for having E, though. <3 And I hope that things will get better for you guys, and that this year will be YOUR year for adding to your family!
    Early ovarian failure. 4 failed ICIs, 6 failed IUIs. Donor Egg IVF in Greece: IVF#1 12/2014 - BFP, miscarried at 6WK3D. IVF #2 4/2015 - BFN. IVF#3 7/2015 - BFP. Baby boy Searc born 4/8/16 - 9lbs, 2 oz <3

    TTC Blog
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    emlklg444emlklg444 Posts: 645
    edited November -1
    This is exactly me right now too.... can't stop thinking, planning, wanting to ttc again. It's been 6 months for us now... 2 miscarriages, and then 2 wasted cycles of no ovulation. ELEVEN vials of sperm "down the drain". OH, and a dewar overnighted because I was so anxious that the second LH surge I had this cycle WAS IT!!! but no. this totally sucks. I have no clue what my cycle is doing. no clue. I keep praying, and hoping that eventually I will be pregnant again.....preferably before I turn 40. I'm trusting that God has this all planned out, and his plan is better than mine. I thank God endlessly for our miracle daughter & think maybe we're being selfish for wanting another baby? But no!!! She deserves a sibling to grow up with! Anyway, just want to commiserate with you. I don't have the answer as to how to STOP thinking about getting pregnant again, as it's on my mind constantly too. I just keep holding on to hope that all the thinking will turn into a plan and eventually soon we'll have another baby in our arms! :)
    1st daughter born 9/26/2013 (bfp 2nd attempt at home ICI)
    2nd daughter born 3/8/2016 (bfp after 7 attempts at home ICI, 2 miscarriages, 1 D&C)
    age 36 evtim8.png
    age 39 K8qxm7.png
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