Fighting non-stop with another child

roses25

Aiden fights non-stop with my best friend's child. They are 2 weeks apart in age and are in the same class. I asked Aiden why he fights with him so much and he said because the little boy is mean to him, and this little boy says that Aiden's mean to him also. They go around and around from the time they get together to the time they leave with constant tattling! They also wrestle over things constantly! I feel like I'm constantly policing their actions.

I really want them to be able to get along since as parents we are really good friends. I'm at a loss of what to do atleast when they are at my house. Any suggestions? It's almost like their personalities clash or something.

Aiden has other friends that come over and they don't fight like this. He does seem to do better with friends that are a couple years older than him though.

Carolyn

Shanny

I agree about separation, but also they might just need a break from each other, like actually not seeing as much of each other. So I wouldn't do any play dates for a while, let them miss each other. We have gone through this with Kate as well. Even at school they were separated for a while (not allowed to work together but still allowed to play together at recess). They actually aren't as close as they were because they are at different stages developmentally and need different things from their peers.

Kari

I would leave them apart for a while as well. Justin was friends with three of his buddies from age 12M to 4 years at his daycare, then all of a sudden separated from them and hung out with kids a year younger than him. It took me months to realize - through another parent - that the three boys he was no longer playing with were doing some things my son wasn't into (killing bugs, bullying another boy at daycare, mouthing back to the daycare providers, testing a lot of limits, etc.). It was a good move on his part, and I trust him now when he says he doesn't like or want to play with a particular person. At the time he didn't have the words to articulate what was happening, but now that I know, I'm glad I didn't push them to be friends again.

babybaby

Kari wrote:

I would leave them apart for a while as well. Justin was friends with three of his buddies from age 12M to 4 years at his daycare, then all of a sudden separated from them and hung out with kids a year younger than him. It took me months to realize - through another parent - that the three boys he was no longer playing with were doing some things my son wasn't into (killing bugs, bullying another boy at daycare, mouthing back to the daycare providers, testing a lot of limits, etc.). It was a good move on his part, and I trust him now when he says he doesn't like or want to play with a particular person. At the time he didn't have the words to articulate what was happening, but now that I know, I'm glad I didn't push them to be friends again.

i love that story, kari! way to go, justin! i love the moral being that sometimes it's good to just trust your kids.