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Paternal custody for donor conceived child

ljimpey86ljimpey86 Posts: 387
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
I was spending time with a friend over New Years and she brought up something at I didn't really think about. My DH and I conceived our child at home with a IUI. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant. My friend asked how custody works if DH isn't genetically related to our future child. I told her that I honestly wasn't sure. Is it enough to for my husband to sign the birth certificate or does he have to adopt the child? I am just concerned with situations where if something happened to me, I wouldnt want the child taken away from him because the child would not really related to him genetically at all. Also we live in Vermont. I have tired looking at a bunch of websites, but I can't find anything related to using donor sperm. Thanks!
Wife to DH with hypopitutarism and azoospermia
TTC~
Try #1 ICI 8/15 -BFN
Try #2 ICI & IUI 9/15 -BFP!

Abbigail Helen born 6/5/2016 7lb6oz

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    RedHeatherRedHeather Posts: 600 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Generally, if you are married, your husband is automatically considered the legal father. This is true even in cases where the woman had an affair -- the husband would usually need to go through a legal process if he wanted to deny paternity.
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    tinydancertinydancer Posts: 1,210 ✭
    edited November -1
    agreed to what the above poster said. since you are married, he is automatically responsible as the father. even if you divorced or you died, he would HAVE to take care of child, even if he disputed it. this just happened to a celebrity on the view. she got a divorce and denied baby that was born via a surrogate w donor eggs and sperm and they are still both responsible to pay and take care of child.
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    ljimpey86ljimpey86 Posts: 387
    edited November -1
    Thanks for your quick replies. It definitely sets my mind at ease.
    Wife to DH with hypopitutarism and azoospermia
    TTC~
    Try #1 ICI 8/15 -BFN
    Try #2 ICI & IUI 9/15 -BFP!

    Abbigail Helen born 6/5/2016 7lb6oz
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    stwrrstwrr Posts: 455 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Check with an attorney in your state though, because that assumption of paternity for married straight couples still does vary by state.

    And boy does it ever vary for same-sex couples. :)

    ~ Sandy
    407251321.jpg
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    ljimpey86ljimpey86 Posts: 387
    edited November -1
    stwrr wrote:
    Check with an attorney in your state though, because that assumption of paternity for married straight couples still does vary by state.

    And boy does it ever vary for same-sex couples. :)

    ~ Sandy

    Yes it seems crazy that it isn't the same for everyone.....regardless of being same-sex or straight.
    Wife to DH with hypopitutarism and azoospermia
    TTC~
    Try #1 ICI 8/15 -BFN
    Try #2 ICI & IUI 9/15 -BFP!

    Abbigail Helen born 6/5/2016 7lb6oz
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    RedHeatherRedHeather Posts: 600 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I remember reading back when Vermont first legalized gay marriage that a big part of the law was protections for non-biological parents in same-sex couples, so I'm guessing the spouse=parent assumption would be very solid in your case.
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    babybabybabybaby Posts: 1,564
    edited November -1
    i'm pretty sure that if you are married at the time the child is born, the child is legally your husband's child. my daughter's paternal family has a situation where the wife cheated on (they were temporarily on a break) her husband and had a child with her lover. because they were married at the time the child was born, her husband was still considered the legal father of the child, who is now five, and he acts as that child's father to this day. there is another case similar to that in my own family, with one of my cousins.
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