Struggling a little

JandRVA

It's now been 19 weeks since we lost our little girl and her expected due date is in a couple of days. I never imagined it would be this hard. I can't tell if our current attempts to get pregnant again is helping or hurting the situation. The episodes of completely overwhelming sadness still come occasionally but they're not as bad as they were immediately after her death. But today I keep looking down at my belly and feeling intensely sad. Or when I look at the section of our bedroom where the crib was to go. I just wish my brain would let go of what should have been and accept where we are right now...

che_arami

I know I can't offer any practical help, but I just wanted to reach out and say we're so sorry for what your family has gone through. I think about you guys when I check the forums and always hope you see doing well. I read something on another forum where someone said it drove them crazy for people to tell them "just one day at a time" when she felt like she couldn't even get through the next 5 minutes sometimes! I hope it helps even a little bit to have this place to say whatever you need to and know we all support you.

old mama

I have had difficulty as the due dates of my miscarried babies nears. I didn't carry my babies as long as you did. I am so sorry. What has helped me is to do something to remember them. Whatever might make you feel better. She will always be your first in your heart. Many who have never gone through loses don't get it and want you to go on like your child was nothing. You need and deserve to grieve. Let yourself do that. Only you will know when you are ready to go on. My thoughts are with you.

JandRVA

Thank you both for your kind words. I had been pregnant at the same time as quite a number of my friends and the adorable baby announcements have started, which is making things a little more difficult right now. I've already gotten to the point of unfollowing a number of friends on Facebook because I couldn't handle the influx of happy new baby photos. It makes me feel like a terrible person but I know it's in my best interest to do so. I keep hoping that I will adjust to this new normal soon and sometimes it seems like I am but lately it's been more difficult.