Help advice needed

TheOtherLovingMoms

So we have custody of our 6 year old grandson. We have had him for a year now. In the past year we have had a few instances where he would hit or kick either Larissa who is 11 or Destiny who is 7. However lately we have been having more issues with him and his baby cousin Kaleb who is only 11 months old. He has head butted him. He's slapped his hands and snatched toys away from him and most recently he bit him on his arm. I am at a loss. When we ask him why he did it he says because I can. We have taken things away from him or put him in time out. When he was living with his mom and step dad he witnessed his step dad be abusive to his mom. But all this has just been taking place in the past few months. Can someone please give me some guidance on what to say or do to stop this behavior. I really don't want to have to move out of our house that we share with our oldest daughter and my 3 grandkids but if he's going to continue to be abusive to the girls and the baby we might have to. When I ask him if he likes being around them and living with them he says yes and he cries when I tell him if he doesn't stop being mean to them we are going to have to move.
Help please.

K&H

Does he see a therapist? It sounds like something about the baby triggers him. At this moment he can't stop himself, but a good therapist will help him learn how. Heaping on the pressure of telling him you'll move (destroy the only stable world he's ever known) is way too much for him. You'll get farther by telling him that you can see that it's overwhelming for him right now and that you, as the adult, will help him learn and choose gentle behaviors. You may have to keep them separated in the house, or not allow him unsupervised time, which you can explain is to keep both boys safe, but unless you are actually planning to move out in the very near future this is not his responsibility nor should he have to worry about it.

old mama

It is tough. I am sure you are working with him with it is totally acceptable to hit. My pregnant daughter and her fiancé moved back home as they are homeless. They fight verbally and even physically....my daughter is the aggressor... I have noticed a change in the behavior of my youngest son since they moved in. He too is more violent..hitting, throwing things, foul language...yes kids can be affected by what they witness. I have tried talking to my son about what he has witnessed and how that type of behavior is wrong. If it wasn't for the fact the baby is due soon I would toss both my daughter and fiancé out of here..

K&H

See what you think of this: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/child-hits-baby

ahk00

That is a great article. One thing I have always told Isaiah is that hams are for hugging not hitting.

K&H wrote:

See what you think of this: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/child-hits-baby

TheOtherLovingMoms

K&H wrote:

See what you think of this: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/siblings/child-hits-baby

Thank you!!