Disney World with extra child

roses25

Hi Everyone.

We just recently went through a very tragic and unexpected death of my sister. Sadly she left behind my 4 year old nephew who she had sole custody of. However, I'm excited to announce that my family will be growing at the beginning of October because I will be becoming the guardian to my nephew who lost his mother in a tragic unexpected death recently.

I've been planning a Disney World trip for a year now and we are supposed to go at the end of October. My children are now 7 and almost 4, and my nephew is almost 5. Do you think you'd still do the Disney World trip with just adding another family member as a single mom? I would take my nephew too if we went now. I've almost thought about pushing Disney dates back further because this guardianship is going to cost roughly 10,000 in attorney fees. However, I also feel like we've been waiting so long to take a big vacation that we should just take it, enjoy, and I should just get a loan for the attorney fees since Disney was already planned.

Carolyn

K&H

How well do you know your nephew? How is he doing emotionally and behaviorally? If he's having a rough time and really struggling I might think twice about all going. I bet if you call Disney and explain things to them they would help you change dates to the spring with no penalty.
If you feel like you know him well and he is doing alright, then I would take him. Might be nice to have a bonding trip and for him to be distracted from his grief for a bit.

handsomecowboo

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. But Your nephew is lucky to have you!

kelleymel

I'm so sorry about your sister. I would probably call Disney and tell them about the circumstances and push the trip back. I'd let him grieve and get used to his new family dynamic. Your kids will need to adjust too.

tinydancer

I would NOT be able to do 3 kids alone at disney. its too busy and overwhelming. if one runs away, you really need to book your ass to get them or they are lost! I have been there about 12 times and I always go w helper (or my ex)
I do think tho that the trip would be great for your nephew because he had so much happen. wow, how crazy and sad. if I were you, I would get him in counseling or at least you to see how to help him and you all adjust.

lastly, I think its absolutely insane that ANYONE needs to pay for guardianship when clearly state help would costs hundreds of thousands to be in foster its so backwards. Im sorry that is a HUGE amount to throw on top of a death.

ahk00

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Call your insurance to see if they will cover the cost of court fees as I know my insurance does. If they don't cover guardianship fees I would recommend going the adoption route to insure that your nephew is a more permanent part of your family. W/o knowing the circumstances of his parents I would suggest adoption. Because with guardianship his biological father could come back and "reclaim" him. Just a thought. I agree w/ K&H, if he is stable I say take him with you and enjoy the special moments with him and your family.

old mama

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. My heart goes out to you. I think it is wonderful that you are going make your nephew a part of your family. If it was me to take the stress out I would maybe postpone the Disney trip for a while and focus on getting things in order and letting things settle down with your nephew. I would look a little closer and do day trips/activities until you are all adjusted to one another. He may test things a bit because of his loss. The same goes for your own biological children after the initial honeymoon period and excitement of a new brother they may have issues as well. The best of luck to all of you.

woclaire0

My condolences. Happiness and good luck to you and nephew!

tinydancer

great idea about the insurance and the adoption.

roses25

ahk00 wrote:

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Call your insurance to see if they will cover the cost of court fees as I know my insurance does. If they don't cover guardianship fees I would recommend going the adoption route to insure that your nephew is a more permanent part of your family.

ahk00,

What type of insurance would cover guardianship court fees for someone else's child your taking guardianship of?

I'd love to adopt, but I don't know that it is an option at this time. The father is still in the picture as he has never had his parental rights terminated, but the court has determined him to be unfit at this time to have custody of his son. From the sounds of it, you have to prove that the father hasn't paid child support and visited the child for the past year to adopt in Wyoming. He hasn't done visits even though he's had the option to do supervised visits for 2 years now, but from my sister's words he pays child support randomly when he has a job. I'd like to find out when the last time he's paid, so I can start the adoption once that year hits. Does anyone know how to find a record of when child support was paid?

Carolyn

kelleymel

I'm not sure about Wyoming, but in Texas there's an office that handles all child support cases. You might want to contact a family law attorney. They will be your best bet. If your sister left everything to her son, you can roll it into a trust and use the trust to pay the attorney fees for his legal adoption or guardianship hearing.

Shanny

I am sorry to hear about your sister. In NYS there is a program to assist relatives with guardianship. Maybe Wyoming also has something. Here is the link to NYS just so you can have some idea what it entails and what to search for.

http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/publications/pub5108.pdf

My youngest sister has custody of my older sisters 8 year old son. She also has an 8 year old daughter and 11 year old son. The transition has been better than I think I would ever expect under the circumstances (similar to your family's). In fact, we are still waiting for the potential reactions you would expect when a young child suddenly looses a parent.

Do your children know Disney is in a month? Have you asked your nephew?

roses25

Shanny wrote:

Do your children know Disney is in a month? Have you asked your nephew?

Thanks for the link. Yes, my kids know Disney is in a month. I've talked to Aiden about waiting for Disney and somehow he seems to understand. I haven't asked my nephew yet.

Carolyn

TheOtherLovingMoms

I'm in the process of getting my daughter's parental rights to my grandson stripped. I was told no support OR no regular contact, not both. Also if there is a history of abuse towards him or his mom from when the father was in the picture or a history of neglect by the father then you may still be able to adopt. Also I'd go for custody not guardianship. I filed for custody of my grandson on my own without an attorney and only had to pay the filing fee.

roses25 wrote:

ahk00 wrote:

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Call your insurance to see if they will cover the cost of court fees as I know my insurance does. If they don't cover guardianship fees I would recommend going the adoption route to insure that your nephew is a more permanent part of your family.

ahk00,

What type of insurance would cover guardianship court fees for someone else's child your taking guardianship of?

I'd love to adopt, but I don't know that it is an option at this time. The father is still in the picture as he has never had his parental rights terminated, but the court has determined him to be unfit at this time to have custody of his son. From the sounds of it, you have to prove that the father hasn't paid child support and visited the child for the past year to adopt in Wyoming. He hasn't done visits even though he's had the option to do supervised visits for 2 years now, but from my sister's words he pays child support randomly when he has a job. I'd like to find out when the last time he's paid, so I can start the adoption once that year hits. Does anyone know how to find a record of when child support was paid?

Carolyn

ahk00

I have bcbs. I would consult with an adoption attorney or do research on the statutes there. If that child were in the foster care system in TN we could file for termination of parental rights for wanton disregard and possibly abandonment. OR you could try to get him to do a voluntary surrender.

roses25 wrote:

ahk00 wrote:

I am sorry to hear about your sister. Call your insurance to see if they will cover the cost of court fees as I know my insurance does. If they don't cover guardianship fees I would recommend going the adoption route to insure that your nephew is a more permanent part of your family.

ahk00,

What type of insurance would cover guardianship court fees for someone else's child your taking guardianship of?

I'd love to adopt, but I don't know that it is an option at this time. The father is still in the picture as he has never had his parental rights terminated, but the court has determined him to be unfit at this time to have custody of his son. From the sounds of it, you have to prove that the father hasn't paid child support and visited the child for the past year to adopt in Wyoming. He hasn't done visits even though he's had the option to do supervised visits for 2 years now, but from my sister's words he pays child support randomly when he has a job. I'd like to find out when the last time he's paid, so I can start the adoption once that year hits. Does anyone know how to find a record of when child support was paid?

Carolyn

babybaby

i haven't read all the responses yet, but my two cents is that it just depends on the child. i haven't tried it yet, but i think my youngest would be easy-peasy in any situation. my oldest, on the other hand, is a completely different story. she was struggling with some sensory processing issues when we went to disneyworld last, and she just generally gets overwhelmed easily, and there were serious meltdowns. she literally threw her plate of food on the floor at the beauty and the beast restaurant. my own feeling of embarrassment wasn't the important thing; the important thing was that she felt so overwhelmed at the entire experience that she lost it. that makes me sad.

depending on your nephew's personality and how he's dealing with the loss of his mother, the distraction of a vacation could be a good thing, though.

by the way, i'm very sorry for your loss. and congrats on gaining a new son.