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Two children arriving tomorrow

old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
I got a frantic message from my cousin asking me to take custody of her children 6th and 11th grade. Her 3rd husband...not girls' father...is being abusive and she has to choose between her marriage or girls...I'd show his behind to the door...but that isn't what she chose. I agreed and I will do it. But, after the recent miscarriage and decision never to try again emotionally I am not ready for this...but the need is now. I don't look for her to ever come and get them. It's been crazy around here getting ready....it isn't the delivery I wanted but....

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    b&kmakebabiesb&kmakebabies Posts: 818
    edited November -1
    Wow! I wish you luck on this journey. You are in my thoughts.
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    TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!
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    handsomecowboohandsomecowboo Posts: 284
    edited November -1
    Oh wow!

    They're lucky to have you! So many good wishes for you and your new family!
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    New-mama?New-mama? Posts: 593 ✭
    edited November -1
    Take care of yourself hopefully these kids help you heal. It's great that you can help improve their lives. These kids are going to need lots of love.
    TTC attempt 1: ICI Dec 2015 BFN/Attempt 2-3 IUI Jan&April 2016 BFN/Attempt 4: 1ICI 1 IUI May 2016 BFN/Attempt 5-7: ICI-June, Sept, Nov 2016 BFN/Attempt 8-9 iui April 2017 BFN.
    May 2017 IUI BFP!!!!
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    tt1d86de
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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wow! Exciting, terrifying, busy! Glad that you're there to help them. Don't forget to do the legal paperwork you'll need to be able to sign medical and school papers for them. Temporary guardianship ought to do it.
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    TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Wow the fact that she chose a man over her own children, children she carried under her heart for 9 months, shows what kind of mother she is! She doesn't deserve those girls and I'm so happy they have you! Poor little girls. I will never understand how a woman would chose ANYONE over her own children!
    Good luck to you and give those girls lots of love.hopefully having them with you will help you heal.
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    K&H...I gave her the website to run off the paperwork..all she had to do was to run of the forms and get them notarized. I hope she does it or she is NOT leaving the girls here..you are right I can't do anything without it. Thank you all for your support. I am exhausted. It's been a lot of work to make room for 2 more! Well, break is over back to work!
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    TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Have you gotten the girls?
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    No they didn't show up...Mom says they are still coming. There actually might be three now. So 6th 9th and 11th graders..all girls. I decided to stop stressing about it...when they get here they get here. ...not me @ all...lol
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    ruedeodeonruedeodeon Posts: 160
    edited November -1
    That sounds like a bad situation. I wouldn't get involved.
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    ahk00ahk00 Posts: 1,420 ✭
    edited November -1
    I am hoping she does the right thing & brings them to you along with temporary guardianship papers. Otherwise you have no way to help them if they are sick or to get into school (unless they are homeschooled).

    If she is choosing her SO over them than unfortunately the right thing is for her to give them up.
    SMBC: TTC since 12/2014: 3 home attempts: 2 BFN & 1 chemical. 3 medicated Dr assisted IUI's: 2 BFN & 1 BFP (04/24/15) with twins in May (new donor) MC with D&C @ 9w. 4th IUI 09/17/15: BFN. 10/15: hsg good. 11/15: BFN. 01/16: BFN. 05/16: Embryos arrested. IVF failed 06/16: KD BFN 07/16: KD BFN 09/16: IUI #7 with donor sperm BFP-MC at 9w w/ D&C. 02/17: diagnosed with hetero compound MTHFR & clotting mutation. 03/09/17 IUI #8: chemical pregnancy. IUI #9: 04/19/17 BFN LOOKING FOR EMBRYO'S TO ADOPT
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    TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    ahk00 wrote:
    I am hoping she does the right thing & brings them to you along with temporary guardianship papers. Otherwise you have no way to help them if they are sick or to get into school (unless they are homeschooled).

    If she is choosing her SO over them than unfortunately the right thing is for her to give them up.
    If your name isn't on the birth certificate showing you are the biological parent you have to have some kind of court papers showing you have either legal custody or legal guardianship even to homeschool, at least in Ohio you do.
    IGXwm4.png
    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    It would be difficult to get state permission to homeschool for the children...Mom doesn't have one of the girls' birth certificates...but school has copy in records so our school said that was ok but to homeschool we have to have birth certificate. Bio dad hasn't been in picture...isn't even in US since they were tiny but if both parents are on birth certificate he would have to sign as well...She says she is getting temp. guardianship papers notarized...she knows I need it. She is bringing them this Friday. Plus I have my hands full with homeschooling my two youngest they both have very specific special needs. I would have to get some on-line program or something for the girls...we will try public school first. At least knowing they will be here Friday I can finish up what I have to do..I am making headway but seems so much more I want to get done before they get here...I can't walk away they are family and I couldn't like with myself if they stay in the living situation or ended up in foster care..when I could help them. I never minded hard work. I love the support I am getting here. Not the way I thought I would expand my family and really not the way I WANT but life has to move on...
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    b&kmakebabiesb&kmakebabies Posts: 818
    edited November -1
    old mama wrote:
    It would be difficult to get state permission to homeschool for the children...Mom doesn't have one of the girls' birth certificates...but school has copy in records so our school said that was ok but to homeschool we have to have birth certificate. Bio dad hasn't been in picture...isn't even in US since they were tiny but if both parents are on birth certificate he would have to sign as well...She says she is getting temp. guardianship papers notarized...she knows I need it. She is bringing them this Friday. Plus I have my hands full with homeschooling my two youngest they both have very specific special needs. I would have to get some on-line program or something for the girls...we will try public school first. At least knowing they will be here Friday I can finish up what I have to do..I am making headway but seems so much more I want to get done before they get here...I can't walk away they are family and I couldn't like with myself if they stay in the living situation or ended up in foster care..when I could help them. I never minded hard work. I love the support I am getting here. Not the way I thought I would expand my family and really not the way I WANT but life has to move on...

    If anyone can handle this, it's you! Take care of yourself, and know you can come here to share if need be...
    Cnc9m5.png

    TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!
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    ljimpey86ljimpey86 Posts: 387
    edited November 2016
    Wow! Take care of yourself. You are an amazing parent, and all your children are lucky to have you. It is so sad that there are people in the world who would choose ANYONE over their children. :(
    Wife to DH with hypopitutarism and azoospermia
    TTC~
    Try #1 ICI 8/15 -BFN
    Try #2 ICI & IUI 9/15 -BFP!

    Abbigail Helen born 6/5/2016 7lb6oz
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    April.juneApril.june Posts: 115
    edited November 2016
    Wow! It is wonderful that you are willing to help these girls but if their mother is giving you temporary guardianship because of domestic violence or abuse then she probably needs help too! I work with crisis and assault victims and I know it can seem as though this mom is choosing a man over her children but she may legitimately be scared for her life if she leaves or just not know how to leave. Abuse can be paralyzing. She is obviously trying to make some accommodation for their well-being so maybe she needs some help herself to get out of this abusive situation? I really hope everything works out and I know you have the mothering experience to do this but I hope the mom gets the help she needs too.
    ~~~~SMBC TTC #1 ~ 29~~~~
    ~6 BFN home ICIs w/NW~
    ~ Try #1 in September with KD! ~
    ~ 2 DPI ~
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    emlklg444emlklg444 Posts: 645
    edited November -1
    What!!!?? Wow! Haven't been on here in a while... but you are such an Angel in human form Old Mama. Praying it's a smooth transition for everyone involved and these children THRIVE!
    1st daughter born 9/26/2013 (bfp 2nd attempt at home ICI)
    2nd daughter born 3/8/2016 (bfp after 7 attempts at home ICI, 2 miscarriages, 1 D&C)
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    The girls are safely in my arms. Their nicely cleaned and decorated rooms are now a mess...LOL....it was sad to see them so resigned to all that was happening to them. I will do my best for them. I got a call this evening that my brother had a heart attack..they had to place 3 stents and has been given meds. They are watching him closely...I feel helpless....7 kids at home and he's 200 miles a way...all I can do is to sit and wait and hope for the best...quite the day!
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    pikespeakpikespeak Posts: 106
    edited November -1
    Thinking of you old mama. Those girls are lucky to have you!
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    ahk00ahk00 Posts: 1,420 ✭
    edited November -1
    Thinking of you guys! Many hugs!
    old mama wrote:
    The girls are safely in my arms. Their nicely cleaned and decorated rooms are now a mess...LOL....it was sad to see them so resigned to all that was happening to them. I will do my best for them. I got a call this evening that my brother had a heart attack..they had to place 3 stents and has been given meds. They are watching him closely...I feel helpless....7 kids at home and he's 200 miles a way...all I can do is to sit and wait and hope for the best...quite the day!
    SMBC: TTC since 12/2014: 3 home attempts: 2 BFN & 1 chemical. 3 medicated Dr assisted IUI's: 2 BFN & 1 BFP (04/24/15) with twins in May (new donor) MC with D&C @ 9w. 4th IUI 09/17/15: BFN. 10/15: hsg good. 11/15: BFN. 01/16: BFN. 05/16: Embryos arrested. IVF failed 06/16: KD BFN 07/16: KD BFN 09/16: IUI #7 with donor sperm BFP-MC at 9w w/ D&C. 02/17: diagnosed with hetero compound MTHFR & clotting mutation. 03/09/17 IUI #8: chemical pregnancy. IUI #9: 04/19/17 BFN LOOKING FOR EMBRYO'S TO ADOPT
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