PTSD and a 6 year old

TheOtherLovingMoms

So my grandson has been acting out really bad the past 4-6 months. He's been being mean to his cousins, hitting them and kicking them. He's bit the baby who is only 16 months old and slapped his hands. He's even pushed my oldest granddaughter down the stairs, luckily it was only 4 stairs. He's called them names, sometimes even cussing at them. He lies to us about just about everything. And we are at our wits end about what to do. So we decided maybe it was time to take him to a therapist. Well last week they gave us a diagnosis. PTSD! I cried my eyes out. This little boy has been through so much in his short 6 year life. We have had custody of him since July 2015. He didn't start acting out til around May/June of 2016. Do you all have any suggestions on what we can do to help him? The therapist told us that with ptsd it usually gets worse before it gets better. He has him coming in to see him once a week right now. I will do whatever it takes to help my grandson and I hurt so bad for him. I feel in some ways that this is my fault. If I had taken him from his mom back when he was 2 like I wanted to and everyone was telling me to he wouldn't have gone through and seen all the crap he went through and seen. This little boy seen his dad(stepdad) try to choke out his mom. He seen him shove her down and sit on her and start punching her. He seen him slap her in the face so hard it knocked her down. He wouldn't have had to go through that if I had made her leave him with me the first time she went back to him back when Jayvin was 2.
Anyhow, sorry about the long post and if you read the whole thing thank you. Any and all advice would be appreciated. The 3 cousins of his that he has been being mean to also live with us.

K&H

Does your state and his insurance cover "in home therapy"? This is someone who comes out to the house and helps address what's going on there.
Keep talking with the therapist, stay consistent, open communication with teachers, keep a close eye on all the kids at all times.
I'm so sorry that he's going through all of this, but you are there for him and that's so important!

TheOtherLovingMoms

K&H wrote:

Does your state and his insurance cover "in home therapy"? This is someone who comes out to the house and helps address what's going on there.
Keep talking with the therapist, stay consistent, open communication with teachers, keep a close eye on all the kids at all times.
I'm so sorry that he's going through all of this, but you are there for him and that's so important!

I will have to check into the in home therapy. We homeschool so we don't have to worry about what's going on there. When they are all playing together it's in the living room and there is always an adult there. He won't sleep in his own room right now and I'm not going to make him so we've put a twin bed in our room so he has his own bed in there. If the girls are up in their room playing he's not allowed up there. Right now I'm terrified at having him alone in his room. I'm scared he's going to hurt himself so I'm a major helicopter nana right now. The therapist did tell us that sometimes it takes awhile for the bad behaviors to start. It's weird because last year he went to a public school. He didn't start acting out until school was out for the summer, wonder if it's just a coincidence or not.
Thank you for responding.

RedHeather

I've heard that they can't really start processing the trauma until they are in a situation where they feel safe, so it's actually kind of a good sign when they start acting out because it means the feel safe with you. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, though! I hope he responds well to whatever type of therapy you're able to access.

Shanny

I have a friend who has 2 adopted boys, both need extra services and one in particular I know has PTSD. Her stories break my heart but there is so much good she is doing. He's a teenager now and she just started homeschooling. She is single so she asks for help in anyway she needs it and thinks people might be able. Don't forget to just ask for help. If you have a friend who can hang out with the other kids so you can do one on one activities with him (just talking can be tough with a house full of kids) - ask and accept help!

Best of luck.

michgirl

See if his therapist is trained in EMDR. It does wonders for PTSD it can (and has) been successful on children as young as three.

blkbrd3

Contact your local school district and speak to someone in the special education department. They have to know of local resources which can help. I'd also get in touch with your county health and human services department. They serve kids in the foster care system who are struggling with the same issues your love bug is.

old mama

He is acting out more now because he knows he is safe and it is a safe place to act out...sounds twisted but it's true. My suggestion other than what has been mentioned is to wear him out physically..I know the weather is bad but if you can take him to a gym to just run. Bundle him up for a walk, if you can a bike for good days. I bought my son an indoor trampoline that is good for that extra energy. Sounds like you are watching him around the other kids. Even if it is a special corner of the house having is own place to be with his own things there can help.