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Estate Planning

b&kmakebabiesb&kmakebabies Posts: 818
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
My wife and I are working on our estate planning and our lawyer wants to know who would get our son in the event we both die.

We have literally gone through every grandparent and they are equally crazy in their own ways. We have no idea how to make this decision. I know this is extremely a case by case basis, but how did you all make this decision?!

TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!


  • michgirlmichgirl Posts: 406
    edited November -1
    I asked a cousin if she would take my boys if anything happened to me. It doesn't have to be the Grandparents. Do you have a different relative or maybe even a family friend you would be comfortable with?
  • pikespeakpikespeak Posts: 106
    edited November -1
    Even though I don't have a child yet, I asked a close friend because I'm not comfortable with any family members. Hopefully you're able to find someone, even if it isn't family.
  • b&kmakebabiesb&kmakebabies Posts: 818
    edited November -1
    Yeah we've been trying to think of aunts or cousin. We know it doesn't have to be a grandparent. I guess the problem is they all live so far away and grandparents are close, so we have to think how much we don't trust our parents to have literally everything be uprooted. Also do we only not trust our parents because we see literally everything they do/say since we live so close? Maybe if they were out of state they would be more appealing. Or maybe if we lived close to the other options they would be equally as unappealing.

    Such a hard decision.

    TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!
  • 801logan801logan Posts: 261
    edited November -1
    My wife's parents are a for sure no and my mom (my dad has passed) is crazy too. We asked my wife's sister and her husband. We all love close. We picked them because they have kids and parent most like us. We wanted the grandparents to stay grandparents. It's a really hard choice and is not fun to think about. I don't even think we have told my mom who we picked just cause I think she would be so upset. But I do agree that being near your family and seeing all the crazy does make it hard to want to pick them. Ultimately if our daughter couldn't go to my sister in law she would go to my mom. My mom loves her like crazy and would do anything to make her happy so that overshadows the crazy of her, if that makes sense. ????
    S & L TTC #1
    July, Sept, Nov & Dec - All BFN
    Jan-May - Break
    June- BFP - loss @ 5 weeks
    Sept- Dr assisted IUI- BFP @10DPI. It's a GIRL!! Our little girl was born 5/21/2015 healthy & happy!! :)
  • old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682
    edited November -1
    I only have one minor child now.. my others are adults but not responsible enough to raise a sibling... but when I was TTC I had asked a good friend to take him and my baby if something happened to me during the pregnancy since I was high risk. If my pregnancy would have progressed I would have had a legal guardianship form completed. My parents too old and my brother and his wife are too involved in their own lives and haven't had much of anything to do with my family and were very against my TTC plan. My friend stood by my side, is younger and is more stable. I agree it doesn't have to be family but I would make sure that your friend would agree to family having some visitation. Unless your relationship was bad you would want your child to at least grow up knowing his/her biological family. I would make sure that there would be a plan to provide financially for you child so money doesn't have to be an issue for the person taking your child.
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