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second baby in our family, first baby in my body

24

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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited July 2013
    It's nearly 1:45pm on 12dpo, and after a day of uncharacteristically frequent urination, I'm cramping and spotting. The cramps feel very much like regular AF cramps, so my guess is that I'm out for this cycle. Maybe not. I just took my temperature out of curiosity, and it was 99.0, which is very high for me. I had been sitting at my computer working for about an hour previous to using the thermometer. I don't know. My vagina is literally aching, but that could be all of the cervix checking I've been doing, haha.

    It's 8:30pm, and the "spotting" has ceased. I should have mentioned that it was more like brown CM and never actually came out; it just got on my finger when I went in there to check a few times. The last time I checked (about a half hour ago), it was watery with just a little dot of creamy brown. I am still, however, feeling occasional and mild period cramps, so it very well could be on its way. Tomorrow will tell.

    13dpo: my temperature dipped this morning to a little bit above my coverline (coverline = 97.5, today = 97.7). I don't have my period yet, but I assume it's coming. I just got more brown on my finger when I checked, but it was also easier to get my finger in there (not as dry as yesterday). I had another BFP dream. Waiting for the blood today, I guess.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I just got my period full force. Now I know what my body is capable of during the luteal phase. Off to call the doctor.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I went in for a vaginal ultrasound today to check and make sure that the polyps are indeed gone, and the coordinator for my RE had also mentioned that she wanted to be sure that my lining isn't "too thick" (Sheesh!), and it all turned out fine. She also squared away the paperwork with NW, so now I just have to call to have the sperm delivered there next week. My projected smiley will be close to next weekend, and then I'll head in for my first IUI (unmedicated for now). If you're still reading these updates, you may be as crazy as I am. :)
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    My three vials were delivered to my RE's office yesterday, and now I'm just waiting for my smiley. My CM is starting to change from creamy to sticky, so I'm expecting EWCM tomorrow, which probably means that I'll get my smiley on Saturday (CD16, like usual). This is an educated guess, of course. If you're wondering why three vials, it's because we're going to try for three cycles before we reevaluate and possibly wait until next summer to try again, in an attempt for a spring or early summer due date. I went to lunch with some co-workers the other day, and one of them announced that she's pregnant after her first month trying with her husband. I couldn't help but want to cry a little, but I'm trying to be optimistic.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I got my smiley today after some stress over a lack of EWCM (See my recent posts if you care.). I'll speak to my RE's office tomorrow morning to schedule my IUI. I'm hoping to get their latest appointment for a Sunday, which I believe is around 10:30am. Trying to stay relaxed!
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited August 2013
    We had our IUI at 9:55 this morning (21.5 hours after +opk but probably more than that after the beginning of my surge because I didn't get an accurate test yesterday morning). It went great! That speculum felt like it was a monster, but everything else was relatively painless. She said it all lined up nicely, and I've had only slight cramping since. DP was there to hold my hand, so all was good. We had to tell my mom, though, because someone had to watch our son, haha. Anyway, I'm not sure it could have gone any better, but I thought that last month, too. My temperature was still nice and low this morning, so I hope to see a rise tomorrow morning. I will not be symptom obsessing this time, FYI. I'm going to busy myself with lots of projects around the house and getting ready for school to start again.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    In case you missed it, this has been my stress so far:
    http://iamtryingtoconceive.com/topic/31247/no-temp-rise-day-after-iui/

    My temp finally rose this morning, a day later than expected. There's nothing I can do about it, I know. Otherwise, I feel completely normal, unlike last cycle with the cramps and stuff that happened immediately. My stomach is bothering me a little (diarrhea), but it did last month, too. We decided that I'm allergic to sperm. Just kidding. ;)
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited August 2013
    Okay, so I promised myself that I would only post things that are totally weird (not cramping or diarrhea or anything like that--even though I've had diarrhea every single day since ovulation, not to mention the frequent urination and heartburn of the past couple of days). Anyway, I'm 5dpo now (or 6dpo, depending if FF got my ovulation correct according to my unusually delayed temp rise), and these two things are completely strange and even unheard of for me:

    1. I don't have any acne. None. Not a one. I always get what I call my "luteal phase acne" within 3 to 5 days after ovulation. And I mean ALWAYS. Last cycle, I charted that my skin broke out on 4dpo, which is totally normal, and again at 11dpo, also totally normal. (I was disappointed both times because I thought the polyp removal might have helped with the acne.)

    2. If I'm pregnant, I will always look back on this moment as when I knew something was up: I briefly fell asleep on the couch yesterday afternoon (for like fifteen minutes) and had the most vivid dream of my life: I was sucking on a lemon and tasted the sourness so much that I woke myself up by puckering my lips and making that sour face that everyone makes, and it was followed by at least an hour of a very strong metallic taste in my mouth.

    3. (Now I'm 7dpiui.) I'm wondering if I've never noticed this or what, but I'd say about 80% of the times that I have been peeing over the past two days (and I'd say we're at least in the 20s there), there was one pubic hair on the toilet paper when I wiped. Is my hair falling out? Totally weird and can't find ANY experiences through Dr. Google.

    4. (still 7dpiui) Also weird: A little while ago after peeing for the hundredth time today (not really), I went in for a CM check to discover that my vaginal walls are super swollen and lumpy and dry--particularly the bottom wall. Once past that area, my cervix felt high and moist. What on Earth? I've never felt it like that before.

    5. (10dpiui) I can't say this is completely strange because I felt it periodically last month (I added it to my chart for one day because it was the only day that it was very noticeable.), but I've been getting the stretchy/painful feeling near my uterus sometimes. It's more painful this cycle, and I've charted it for four days (not in a row, except for yesterday and today). For example, while driving yesterday afternoon, I felt it and cried out because it was so strong and surprising; I scared the crap out of DP. Today, I was lying in the couch and sneezed, and it was the worst one I've EVER felt. I cried out, grabbed my abdomen, and had to wait at least thirty seconds for the after-ache to subside. Did this used to happen to me prior to TTC? I surely don't remember!
    6. (11dpiui) My breasts are always sore before AF, but this is the first time I've noticed a painful lump in the right one (which has always been the bigger breast since they arrived), and they both feel warm to the touch. They even tingle and burn when my bra is off. Has this happened before shortly preceding AF?
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Welp, period is here on the day I predicted (not the day FF predicted, which basically confirms my theory about the temp rise). I just called and left a message with my RE about trying Clomid with this cycle. Waiting for a call back. In the meantime, I'm glad to be able to stop obsessing for a week or so...but who knows what the Clomid will do to me? Hopefully not much except get me pregnant.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    So they can't get me in for a consult with my doctor in time to try Clomid, which means I'll have to wait another cycle. The ironic thing is that my consult is scheduled for the morning that I may need my IUI (day 18 of my cycle, when I had it this past cycle). Even if I get the smiley in the middle of the day on CD16, I may just have her do the IUI in the morning of CD18 and see what happens, since it seems I may ovulate later than I thought. Now to relax until I start POAS again in a week and a half or so...
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited September 2013
    I started getting EWCM on cd12, which is early for me, so I began POAS on that day just in case. I was negative up until bedtime on cd14 but positive with FMU (5am) on cd15. I'm hoping that means that my surge started in the middle on the night between Thursday and Friday because I'm going in for my IUI today (Saturday) at 9:15am. I'm happy that it's more than 24 hours after +OPK this time. My temp was still low this morning, and I will be thrilled if it is up tomorrow morning. Here's to our third try!

    ETA: This IUI was also painless (besides the massive speculum and tiny cramps that I'm still having now, about 45 minutes later). I'm excited about a few things for this cycle:

    1. Our vial had a sticker on it that said "SUPER!" because the specimen was so good this month.
    2. My EWCM has been beautiful this cycle: clear and stretchy. For the past two cycles, it seemed oddly yellow and thick.
    3. I'm back to work (teaching), so my TWW will be going SO MUCH FASTER because I'll be busy.

    That's all. :)

    ETA again: I just realized that if I conceive this cycle, the due date will be like three days after our son's birthday. Poor things would have to share the thunder! Oh well. It would just mean that both September and May are our lucky months!
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I just want to report that my temp rose yesterday morning and even higher this morning, so I experimented and put in my nearly-certain temp for tomorrow morning, and FF told me I ovulated on the day of my IUI. YAY!!!
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I officially got my crosshairs this morning. I'm also going this morning for a consultation with my RE about taking Clomid next cycle, if there is a next cycle. We're staying very positive and, more importantly, very busy. :)
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited October 2013
    It's now CD16 during my first cycle on Clomid, and because I hadn't yet gotten a smiley, the RE office asked me to come in for bloodwork and an ultrasound this morning. I currently have two identical 13mm follicles on the left side, obviously not yet mature. I laughed because 13 is my favorite number (my birthday) and at the fact that they are "twin" follicles. To add to that "sign", Walmart literally had ONE BOX LEFT of the old kind of smiley tests that they are supposedly phasing out. I only have one stick left because I was sure I would have gotten a positive by now and didn't order any from Amazon. All of this is happening after a rough couple of days during which I was annoyingly emotional and got lots of inexplicable and inconvenient errors on smiley tests. We're hoping this will all be a good story to tell for our BFP cycle.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I guess I'll update. I'm 8dpo, and things are rather uneventful. I went in for my IUI at almost 40 hours after my +OPK, and the doctor said that it was easy to do. I was worried that I'd be closed for business by then, but maybe it turns out that I ovulate a lot later than I ever thought? Anyway, my "symptoms" generally line up with past cycles (heartburn, vivid dreams, etc.); the only two notable differences have been a complete lack of breast tenderness (which I usually have since the day after ovulation all the way until CD1 or 2) and an increase in lots of kinds of CM, but I'm sure that either one can possibly be attributed to Clomid. My period is due on Monday, so I'm going to try really hard to hold out until then before testing.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Well, last cycle was the usual bust, and I'm currently 5dpo on another cycle (although it's possible that I'm 6dpo and actually had my IUI the day after I ovulated...not sure; maybe I'm just paranoid at this point). I feel exactly like I did last month: very little breast tenderness, lots of different kinds of CM, vivid dreams, etc. To top it off, the vial's sperm count was so low this month that my RE actually called NW and told them about it, so I'll be getting either a refund or replacement vial (of our sold-out donor??? That would be incredible.) if I'm not pregnant now. Also, I'll be doubling my Clomid dose next cycle, from 50mg to 100mg. Anyway, just the typical waiting...
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I'm pregnant. :)

    Different symptoms this time: ringing ears and randomly erect nipples. The big clue was no spotting the day before my period was due.

    Still in shock!!!!!
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November 2013
    Well, my beta only went from 61 to 64 in two days, so it was probably a chemical pregnancy. I'm speechless and devastated. Going back in two more days to confirm.

    Edit two days later: Beta at 56. We'll be taking a month off to breathe. We're hoping that the bleeding starts ASAP.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I've been bleeding for two days now, but my hcg has only gone down to 34. It could be a slow ride to my next ovulation, so I'm glad that my doctor wants us to take a month off; otherwise, I might not have had the patience to hold out on my own. It's hard to think about not trying when I know the time will be right, but it's for the greater good...not to mention that we only have three vials left, so my body has to be extra ready. Anyway, in case you're curious, the bleeding has been different from any period I've ever had: it's a brighter red with occasional large clots, when it's usually a darker red with frequent small clots. Some of the clots have actually been clear (you know, like see-through), which has been interesting. I have moments when I'm emotionally numb to it all and moments when I'm crying my eyes out and apologizing to the baby who didn't even get a chance. Anyway, I just thought I'd update.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I went for some bloodwork yesterday morning, and my hcg was only 2, which is considered negative. It makes sense because I stopped bleeding on Wednesday. Anyway, the next step is to call on the first day of my next period to get my Clomid prescription. Today is CD10, and I'll start POAS soon to make sure I surge, even though it's going to feel strange and sad to not go in for an IUI when I do. I'm hoping this cycle is over within my normal range (between 28 and 30 days, always a 12 day luteal phase), so we can jump right back in in January.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Today is CD9, and I'm excited to start POAS soon. This round of Clomid has been the same as others: hot flashes, trouble sleeping, acne, and so on, but I'm so hoping that it will be worth it. My guess is that my smiley will arrive around the 16th as usual, and I'll go in for my IUI two days later. Last month's smiley was later than usual, but I'm sure my body was just adjusting to the hormones. We've recently had some home issues (frozen then bursting pipes, fixed and then a surprise flooded basement), so TTC again will be a welcome bright spot.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    My IUI was at 9:20 this morning, approximately 39 hours after my +OPK (but possibly longer because I hadn't tested since about 7 hours before then). The specimen was much better: 14 million, compared to last time's 4 million. The speculum hurt the worst ever this time, but it's all for the cause. On to yet another TWW...
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Okay, I need to vent. I'm 13dpo with a normal 12 day LP, but all three tests I've taken have been negative. I should mention two things that could swing the situation one way or the other: With my "chemical pregnancy" (I hate calling it that, for some reason.), I didn't get a bfp until 14dpo, AND, last month, the first full cycle after the loss, I didn't start spotting until 13dpo, which will be today of this cycle. Before the loss, I would spot on 12dpo (sometimes even 11dpo) and have my full flow the next day. Did the loss just mess me up for good or temporarily? Here's what I've been feeling:

    - super emotional. As in, DP commented that this has been my "worst month on Clomid, but at least we know it's working." I was very grumpy up until about 10dpo, mostly because I was convinced I wasn't pregnant.

    - absolutely zero breast tenderness, still. I always get sore breasts before my period. Even my first month on Clomid, when the soreness didn't come until 11dpo, that was very late for me.

    - cramps for the past few days. In fact, I keep running to the bathroom expecting to see blood because they feel exactly like the period-is-coming-any-minute kind, but I'm not even spotting. In fact, my cm doesn't even smell metallic, which it usually does the day that I begin spotting. HOWEVER, speaking of CM, I don't feel creamy the way I did when I got my last bfp. I'm watery the way I always am before my period starts.

    - MEGA cramps after an orgasm yesterday. I mean, wth was that? I swear I cramped for two hours afterward, and I have no memory of that ever happening to me before without being accompanied by my actual period.

    - odd rectal pressure at bedtime last night. No, I'm not constipated. In fact, I've been having either diarrhea or "loose stool" for most of my TWW, often twice per day instead of my usual one time in the morning.

    - Most memorably, I was so nauseous at work on Friday (8dpo) that I couldn't even eat lunch. I'm an eater, so this does not happen to me. Then, on my way home at 5:30pm, I had a pounding headache, which I VERY rarely get. Because I had an empty stomach? Once I arrived home, I pretty much ate everything in sight because I was ravenous.

    - bouts of insomnia, which can be normal for me...except for Friday night (after the day of nausea) into Saturday morning when I awoke at 1:30am and just stayed awake into the day! We're "early to bed, early to rise" people (usually in bed by 9 to get up at 5), so I had been sleeping since about 8:30, and our son ended up getting up at around 3, anyway, so I was up to hang out with him.

    I think that's it. What's bothering me for a few reasons is that when I got my last bfp, I felt different. I felt pregnant. My nipples were sensitive, my ears were ringing, my cm smelled completely new and sweet. But I lost that one. I don't feel "pregnant" right now, but I've read a gazillion stories online about how plenty of women have no symptoms before bfp. Could this be it? Will I lose it again? Am I being ridiculous and will just start spotting later today?
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Still no spotting, and CM is starting to get creamier and smell sweeter. I can't believe it yet, but I think it's happened again. I'll test in the morning. I've had some pretty extreme light-headedness for much of the day today, but it could just be because I'm so tired after being up since 3:30am today. Could it really be? Already? Please, God, let it be, and let this one stick.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    There was a little bit of brown cm when I wiped a little while ago, and there is a hint of a metal smell. I think I may have fooled myself.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    It's the morning now, and I was crazy and tested at midnight and 5am--both negative. There's no brown when I wipe, but with an internal check, its amount has increased. I'm almost positive that my period is starting today, which actually completely makes sense for how late I got the smiley two days before the IUI.

    The last time I asked for the trigger shot, I was told that I don't need it because I ovulate on my own and am already using Clomid just to boost it, but when I call as soon as I get my full flow, I'm going to remind her that we only have two vials left which makes timing even more crucial.

    Maybe I had to live through this TWW to remind me of how stupid it is to obsess and tht whatever's meant to be will be and all that crap. It just can't ever be easy. But why is it so damn easy for some people?

    Hopefully, try #7 will be the lucky one.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I seem to have brought it on by my last post. We're officially out again.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Well, I'm getting my 100mg of Clomid AND the trigger shot. I'm sure they feel sorry for me with my dwindling collection of sperm vials, so it wasn't hard to convince them. This will be a brand new kind of roller coaster ride. I hope I will somehow be less of a b!tch than I was this past month because I was horrible, but something tells me it won't be pretty again. Sigh.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    So I'm on CD10 and had a nightmare last night that a doctor told me that we'd been wasting our time because there's something wrong with my uterus. He could tell because of a rash that I had near my belly button. The rash was all over my stomach, like circular, flaky bumps that were really itchy. I was devastated, and I can't shake it.

    In other news, my Ovidrel shot arrived in the mail yesterday, so I'll be triggering on the evening that I get my smiley in the afternoon (which is typical for me). I'll start POAS tomorrow.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I have spent the past eight months of my life waiting...to ovulate, to test, to bleed after chemical pregnancy, to hear results of bloodwork, to feel symptoms, to take Clomid, to trigger. It's endless. Right now, it's CD16, and I'm still waiting for my smiley. I've had EWCM for three days, which is excessive for me. I guess the higher dose of Clomid is messing with me and delaying things. The dry skin and nightmares have also been distracting to say the least. More waiting...
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