Skip to content
Welcome to our new forum! All existing NW Cryobank forum users will need to reset their passwords. Click forgot password and enter your email address to receive the link. Email us at info@nwcryobank.com with any questions.
NW Cryobank community boards and sibling connect groups will no longer be available after December 20th, 2023.

second baby in our family, first baby in my body

13

Comments

  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited February 2014
    The smiley arrived at noon, so I'll be triggering tonight and having the IUI on Sunday morning! The timing will be the same as when I got pregnant, and I'm hoping the hcg shot will give my egg(s) a boost! Yay!

    ETA: I pay more attention to "signs" than I should for sanity's sake, but I like these for this cycle: This is our 7th try, and I got the smiley on CD16 (1+6=7), and my IUI will be on February 16th (same). I would also be due just a few days after the last IUI that got me pregnant. I've been making sure that the volume of my car radio has been either 7, 16, or 25; I heat things in the microwave for 2:50 or 3:40. These are just some examples of how crazy I am.

    However, I'm always a bit OCD like this, so it's not new, and I actually feel calmer and more optimistic than last month when I was a force to be reckoned with. Anyway, off to enjoy the weekend and not have to pee on anything else!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    My dad passed away on March 28, 2012, and his name was Robert. He was the biggest influence on my childhood and one of my best friends. There is a long story--with many parts--that makes me associate him with robins since his passing.

    Every time I have an IUI and the nurse/doctor leaves me to lie down for fifteen minutes, I spend some of the time talking to my dad and asking him to help me out. I usually cry a little and then move on with my day.

    Today, the nurse who did the deed was especially talkative and supportive. The IUI took longer than usual because the catheter wouldn't cooperate (so my speculum time was like tripled, which wasn't fun), but it felt like the timing was right, and the sample was good (12 million). She stopped beside my head and put her hand on my shoulder before she left, and she wished me luck. The last time someone touched me on the way out of one of those rooms was the time I got pregnant and my doctor had put her hand on my knee on her way out.

    I walked out of the building and was just about to call my DP when I was startled by the flapping of several birds. I looked up and saw at least twenty of them flying back and forth between trees in the parking lot. I looked closer to discover that they were robins. I've never seen so many of them in one place in my life. Not to mention that I think it's early for them to be here because of the cold and snow, isn't it? I don't know. But that moment sure gave me hope.

    On a related note, I felt the most intense ovulation pains I've ever felt today, from what would have been 38 hours after trigger (and one hour after IUI) until about six hours later. I can only hope that it all worked out in there the way it was supposed to!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited February 2014
    I'm 6dpo, and things have been pretty usual, aside from some nipple soreness that I'm guessing can be attributed to the trigger shot. I haven't tested at all and don't really want to "test it out" because I truly have no interest in looking at a false positive. Anyway, my DP, who rarely remembers her dreams, had a dream a few nights ago that I was pregnant and in labor and easily delivered one healthy baby (but she didn't remember if the baby was a boy or girl). She's never had a dream like that before me. As for me, I've always been a vivid dreamer, especially in my luteal phase, and Clomid gives me so many nightmares that I've actually started referring to them as my "Clomid nightmares" (clever, I know). Last night, I had a vivid dream that one of my best friends from high school told me that she's pregnant, and all I could do is cry and cry because I was jealous that she and her husband had only tried a few times. I woke up feeling so ashamed, guilty, and disappointed.

    Anyway, I suppose today begins my one week wait, which was when I turned into a monster last month. In preparation, I've downloaded a new book to read and have a whole new set of 130 student essays to grade to keep me busy.

    ETA: My DP just asked me if I remember sitting up and grabbing her arm in my sleep last night. She said I grabbed it hard and told her something urgent that she can't remember. I have zero recollection, and I've never done that in the thirteen years we've known each other. I've sat up and talked but never grabbed her physically. A little back story: One of the first signs that we knew she was pregnant before a bfp was that she woke me up in the middle of the night insisting that there was a motor running under her feet. Like I said before, her dreams are rarely intense or memorable. So is it the hcg in me that made it happen last night? It's too early for pregnancy symptoms, right? I'm 6dpo but 8dptrigger. Who knows?
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited February 2014
    For the first time in my whole life, I had bleeding with a bowel movement today. If you've followed my story, you know my family's history with colon cancer, so this terrified me; however, I literally felt something tear, almost like I was passing something sharp and triangular (tmi)? I've been slightly constipated since the trigger shot, so I'm going to hope for that. If it happens again, I'll call my pcp. Dr. Google isn't telling me much.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited February 2014
    No more rectal bleeding today, thank goodness. I did give in and test to see if the trigger would show up. It was negative. I'm 7dpo and 9dptrigger, so I guess it's gone. My nipples are still sore (since about 4dpo) which is unusual for me on Clomid, which has seemed to make my breasts feel absolutely nothing, except for the cycle when I was pregnant.

    This just sucks. I don't want to see any more of other people's BFPs. I know that sounds horrible and selfish and mean, but why not us? What more do we have to do?
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Don't ask me why I tested this morning at only 10dpo, but I got a negative on a CBD, which is all I have. My DP tried to convince me not to do it, but I had a dream that I was a few months pregnant, and I just wanted so much for it to be true. I don't think I'm pregnant yet again this cycle. I just don't feel anything unusual. Do I really need to start looking at new donors? We bought EIGHT VIALS, and it wasn't enough? I know we have one more to go, but clearly my body isn't cooperating. What's wrong with me? Why is it so much faster for so many other women?
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited February 2014
    12dpo here, with a normal 12 day LP. Before bed last night, I had light brown cm on toilet paper. I usually spot the day before my period, so I was slightly confused because I know the day I ovulated because of the trigger shot + massive ovulation pains the day of IUI. Needless to say, I slept poorly because I kept thinking I was getting my period. I wore a pad all night, and the strangest part is that I feel a little like it's here...but nothing else has come out of me. I did an internal check last night, also, and there was nothing but wet cm on my finger. There's nothing now when I wipe, but I will repeat that I feel like I'm getting my period any second, minus cramps. BFN this morning, by the way. My guess is that the full-on spotting will start later today. I'll keep you posted.

    ETA: I just did another internal check before my morning shower, and there was a lot of brown wetness. It's another no. Un-freaking-believable.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Hmmm, this is the second month in a row that my period is extremely watery and bright red...like so thin that it just bypasses a super plus tampon. Clomid? More polyps? Time to call the doctor.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Today is CD7 (kind of...the first day of my period ended up being really watery brown, so I'm not sure if I should count it as CD1 or my usual pre-period spotting...I'm just counting it as CD1 because I had to change my tampon a few times...This also affected when I chose to begin my Clomid, which I decided to do on CD4 instead of CD3 because that first day was so sketchy), and I just met with my doctor about how we will be changing things for a possible next cycle. This is my last cycle on Clomid, and I will be trying Letrozole next time. She's confident that I will become pregnant at some point soon because all of my tests have panned out. She's not worried about the weird periods, especially because this past one was much better than last month's; she said it could be anything from hormonal fluctuations after the miscarriage to Clomid-related things. Anyway, I'm doing my best not to focus on the fact that this is our last vial with H's donor, so I have a Plan B already in mental place (a.k.a. another donor and the funds to purchase and ship five IUI vials to the clinic). I can't allow myself to be lost or devastated on a potential next CD1. I might still be one or both of those things when the time comes, but I'm working consciously to maintain optimism and control.

    The worst will be disappointing my DP and eventually our kids, if they even end up caring if they're biologically related. I just can't help but feel like something in this process is my fault.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited March 2014
    It's cd16, and because I hadn't gotten a smiley with FMU or SMU, my clinic had me come in for blood work and an ultrasound. By the time I got there, my LH was high enough that it would have registered the smiley (10am). I was happy to have the ultrasound and confirm that I have two mature follicles: one on the left at 21mm and one on the right at 20mm. I will be triggering tonight and going for my IUI on Monday morning at 8am.

    She gave me a choice to trigger right away and do the IUI tomorrow or trigger tonight and come Monday morning, saying that it doesn't make much of a difference either way because there is a 24-36 hour window to catch an egg after it's been released. I chose the later time because frozen sperm have such a short life span, and she said that made sense. Plus, last time I got "pregnant", the IUI was practically two whole days after my smiley.

    My lining was a 15 compared to october's 12. Does anyone have experience with a thickening lining? Is it indicative of something like endometriosis? Trying not to overanalyze.

    Anyway, I predicted that this timing would happen and already prepared something for a substitute teacher to do on Monday morning, so I can relax this weekend. Please, God, let this one be the one.

    ETA: My LH was 17 at 10am, and I just POAS at 12:30 out of curiosity, and still no smiley. Weird. Well, that at least eases my mind about definitely not going tomorrow. My body sure can be pokey.

    ETA one more time: I tested two more times and still no smiley, so I quit testing. Blood is more accurate than urine. What this makes me question is whether my smileys have been arriving later in my surge than I thought. It doesn't really matter for this cycle because the trigger will release the two mature follicles, but if I have more cycles, I guess I should push for an ultrasound shortly after I notice EWCM, which started on Thursday this week (ultrasound Saturday).
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    The last time my doctor was the one who did my IUI, I got pregnant. So when she walked into the room today, I literally started weeping. I told her I was just so happy to see her. Not only was I happy that she was going to perform the procedure herself, but I was also happy to get to ask her questions about my blood work and ultrasound. She said that my hormone levels were perfect, and my lining looked great. When I asked if it was too thick, she said there wasn't really such a thing at the time of ovulation; when she was concerned last year during my polypectomy, it was because it was a little thick for being so early in my cycle, when it was supposed to have shed during my period. Anyway, our sperm count was 10 million today, which is perfectly fine with me. After she finished, she put her hand on my knee like she did in November, and I cried for the entire ten minutes that I spent alone on the table afterward. I prayed and begged and talked to my dad, and I spoke directly to the baby and asked him/her to come this time because I've been waiting so long. Now for more waiting.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited March 2014
    I'm 7dpo and woke up this morning with pretty intense vertigo symptoms. I sat up with the room spinning and actually lost my balance once or twice while walking on our treadmill. I sometimes feel mildly dizzy a day or two before my period, but this is very early. During my cp cycle, I started getting bouts of dizziness at 8dpo. Is it too early, anyway? Maybe I'm just coming down with something? Maybe I'm just producing extra progesterone this cycle?

    ETA: I just took a shower, and it was kind of scary. I had to steady myself on the wall a few times. This isn't normal.

    ETA: The dizziness lasted most of that morning and reappeared two or three times on 8dpo, but it's now the morning of 9dpo, and I feel fine (unless you count exhaustion because our three-year-old was up twice!).
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    My donor choice sold out. This is a cruel joke. The other two I like are unavailable. What the hell are we going to do? Look at another bank? This is overwhelming.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Okay, I've spent a lot of time looking at donors today and have found two more, with one as a clear front-runner who has all of our criteria, and I swear he wasn't listed before. He's pretty perfect, but he doesn't have many vials. I'll be calling ASAP on Monday morning. Other than that, I've been alternating between being completely calm and detached to being emotional and on the brink of tears at any moment. I just need to know at this point. I truly feel like I'm getting my period. Nothing is the same as my pregnancy cycle - no creamy cm, no ringing in my ears, no erect nipples. Let's just get this over with.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    It's the evening of 12dpo, and I'm not spotting. In fact, I've alternated between creamy and sticky cm all day (I wore a pad just in case.). You probably know how I can't resist internal checks this close to my period because brown cm and/or metallic-smelling cm will always be my dead giveaway. Nothing but a few small globs of creamy white on my fingertip with barely a scent at all.

    But I feel like my period is coming. I've felt it all day. I haven't had cramps per se, but I have that heavy abdomen period feeling. My breasts aren't any more sore than usual, and I haven't been feeling dizzy anymore. I'm definitely constipated, but that occasionally happens to me shortly before my period (usually diarrhea, though).

    I'm oddly calm about the whole thing. I think I have to be. Wouldn't I feel different if I were pregnant? I felt different last time, but that one didn't stick. Maybe a lack of symptoms would be a good sign, then?

    Oh, who am I kidding? Just because my period came a day early last month doesn't mean it couldn't come a day late this month.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I have no idea who even reads this thread besides a couple of people, and I don't want to make a big deal out of this until my betas are good, but I got a positive on a digital about ten minutes ago at 3:30am because I can't sleep. I think I just knew, even though I had like NO SIMILAR SYMPTOMS to the last time. The only thing that I've felt that did not point to my period was vertigo last week. Also, this is the only other TWW in which I did NOT have a bfp dream. Anyway, I'm thrilled and shocked, but I can't trust it yet, so I can't announce it yet.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • hopeful2014hopeful2014 Posts: 428
    edited November -1
    I'll wait for the big announcement in the other threads because I totally understand you wanting to be cautious, but can I just say !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
    35 years old - SMBC * 3 ICIs, 6 IUIs, 1 ectopic, 1 chemical, blocked left tube.
    Lucky #10 - IVF!
    Two sweet baby girls (IVF 2015, FET 2017)
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited March 2014
    Haha, thank you! I just left my first blood draw and have my second appointment on Tuesday morning. The nurse tried to give me a pep talk about not worrying about today's number, and I said, "I've been here before, so I get it. Today's will definitely be above 50 to have registered on the digital, but it's Tuesday's I'm worried about." She was really sweet and told me that there's absolutely nothing I can do help or hurt the cause right now, so I have to try to relax. Really, thank you for your support. I still can't believe it. I was so sure I was getting my period.

    ETA: I just noticed we're almost TTC twins. This was also our 8th try, and we also used Clomid and Ovidrel with our IUI. Maybe it will be lucky for you, too!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited March 2014
    Oh hooray!!

    Had to come back to say that I can't stop thinking about you and smiling like a fool!!
    GOzIm4.png
    hAO7m4.png
    CmQMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Thank you!!! You're also next!

    First beta this morning = 144@13dpo :)
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • hopeful2014hopeful2014 Posts: 428
    edited November -1
    Great first beta! It's making me hopeful for my lucky #8!
    35 years old - SMBC * 3 ICIs, 6 IUIs, 1 ectopic, 1 chemical, blocked left tube.
    Lucky #10 - IVF!
    Two sweet baby girls (IVF 2015, FET 2017)
  • K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hot d@mn that's a great beta!!!!
    GOzIm4.png
    hAO7m4.png
    CmQMm4.png
  • TxMoms2BTxMoms2B Posts: 532
    edited November -1
    I've been avoiding the boards since AF came, but I am so HAPPY for you!! This was H's donor too, right!? I'm excited to hear your next beta, because your first sounds amazing! Congrats!
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Thank you, all three of you. I was SO SURPRISED to see the triple digits! R is joking that it's twins, but I know the first beta doesn't accurately predict that. Yes, this was our very last vial of H's donor. I still can't believe it worked. I was all ready to call tomorrow morning to order five vials of a new donor.

    Let's all be pregnant together! Positive thoughts to everyone!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • ana8284ana8284 Posts: 628
    edited November -1
    Congrats! I've been following your board as we did our last IUI on 03/17 too, unfortunately doesn't look like this month is going to end well for us but so happy that it happened for you especially on your last vial! Congrats again!
    27zc85c.jpg

    IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
    KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
    Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
    IUI #8 04/15- BFN
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Thanks! Don't count yourself out yet. I was positive I was going to get my period. Good luck!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I'd be lying if I said I'm not terrified of my second blood draw tomorrow. The idea of it makes me sweat. What if it doesn't double? What if it goes down? I just can't imagine going through that again. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I CAN imagine it.

    In other news, my throat is killing me, I'm super constipated, and my insomnia is at an all-time peak.
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • hopeful2014hopeful2014 Posts: 428
    edited November -1
    I won't tell you to relax because I know I'd be the same way. But just keep thinking about your great first number. Isn't it higher than your betas last time? And you didn't have the same TWW symptoms this time around - in this case I think different is a good sign!!!
    35 years old - SMBC * 3 ICIs, 6 IUIs, 1 ectopic, 1 chemical, blocked left tube.
    Lucky #10 - IVF!
    Two sweet baby girls (IVF 2015, FET 2017)
  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Chemical pregnancy cycle - 61@14dpo

    So, yes, it's much higher. Thank you!
    wqr43o.jpg
    IRcim4.png
    iaXMm4.png
  • LexnaniLexnani Posts: 398 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Congratulations! So happy for you! Our 1st beta was 396 with a singleton so I wouldn't pay attention to the numbers just yet. Good luck! :)
Sign In or Register to comment.