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Choosing a donor

JaisJais Posts: 384
edited November -1 in Trying to Conceive
I am sure that some go by color of hair and eyes, etc. but what do you think of what they wrote? I thought is was interesting what one donor wrote and it filled me with optimism. Just wondered what some of you thought or felt. Am I being weird?

Thanks ladies!!!

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    ncteacherncteacher Posts: 178
    edited November -1
    I agree...when you get that "feeling," you know that they should be in the finalized group. For me, height and athletics were a biggie (my husband is a 6'6" football coach)...family health history was vital, too.
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    GoobieGoobie Posts: 3,515
    edited November -1
    For me, height was number 1, as well as if they had good hearing... what they wrote was what cinched the deal between the top donors who fit the first requirements
    tt125c22.aspx

    Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013. 6th baby, so much love!
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    Shaeley MaeShaeley Mae Posts: 1,731
    edited November -1
    Yup, I was definitely swayed by the "vibe" I got from my donor.
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    JaisJais Posts: 384
    edited November -1
    Thanks. Great now I don't feel so weirded-out!!! Thought I was tripping for a moment.
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    rktink13rktink13 Posts: 83
    edited November -1
    I have to agree that the vibe I got from this donor was a big reason why I chose him among other things such as having my wifes eye color and hair color and height. I also really liked what my donor had to say. His philosophy was it is what it is meaning that life is what you make of it so stop saying what if........and do it. Make the most things, dont sweat the small stuff and be grateful. To me he just sounded like a happy go getter differant from my sons donor. After having our daughter I can imagine he must be pretty happy because this little girl smiles all day every day and only cries when she is hungy and then is right back to smiling the second she sees her bottle! I dont know I think that each donor speaks to everyone differantly and thats why alot of us choose who we choose. Good luck on picking your donor!
    My Beautiful Babies, I Love Kisses from The Monster! He Doesnt Hand Those Out Much!

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    coryandamandacoryandamanda Posts: 1,527
    edited November -1
    We went for blue eyes and that was a big list. Then it was good eyesight and none or minimal of the major medical issues we have in our families. That got us down to just a few and we read their answers to the questions. None really said anything magnificent that pulled at our heart strings but a few did say things that did the opposite and kinda rubbed us the wrong way.
    Our donor made the cut and we are SUPER happy with him and even more ecstatic that, as far as we know, there are no other kids from our donor.
    July 4, 2015
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    stwrrstwrr Posts: 455 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    After four months of trying to pick a donor... in the end, it all boiled down to the vibe.

    Try imagining what you'd say to your teenage child about their donor, looking at their profile together with your kid. We chose a donor we could say, "Look. He was a good man, a decent man, a kind man. And a little wacky and funny. But he really wanted to do this for the right reasons, and we chose him because he felt like the -right- man to be your father."

    He has spunk too. Spunk is a good vibe for us. :)

    ~ Sandy
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    GoobieGoobie Posts: 3,515
    edited November -1
    stwrr wrote:
    He has spunk too. Spunk is a good vibe for us. :)

    ~ Sandy


    Pardon my crassness, but isn't that the whole point *wink*?!
    tt125c22.aspx

    Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013. 6th baby, so much love!
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    JaisJais Posts: 384
    edited November -1
    Thanks I have found 2 that I really like so far, 2 more to go. Although I know that some do this for the money and little else but it is nice to know that some really want to help...makes a big difference somehow. Just looking for that certain something. I just hope that they have vials available. Getting nervous and excited too.
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    Sassy2uSassy2u Posts: 236
    edited November -1
    I have kind of the opposite problem. I am looking for a Chinese donor and their are only 2 at NW. And they are both CMV+. I am not sure yet if I am or not. Will be taking a test in a few weeks. So I kind of feel like I will just have to pick one. They are kind of similar at a cursory glance. I just mailed in my papers today so as soon as they are received I will order the full profiles on both donors. I am hoping that one of them will stand out as "the one." One of them does prefer to meet while the other does not so that is somewhat of a distinction between them and one I have not fully made a decision about. Does this factor into the decisions of you guys as well?
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    SPJ&ESPJ&E Posts: 874 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Overall, we chose our donor because of the feeling I got when I read his profile. I can't explain it, it was just a feeling and I knew he was the donor for us. I loved his answers to the questions AND he didn't mispell anything, which is always a plus. A looked at the profile and really liked it too, so we went with it and couldn't be happier with that choice!

    We did narrow it down by eye color first (blue) and hair second (blonde or brown). CMV- was also a must for us, as I don't know my CMV status and we didn't want to take any chances with that. From there, it was all the answers to the questions. I mean, I know we will never meet the donor, but we wanted to choose one that seemed like a good, caring, honest, responsible guy. We got a good impression from his online/short profile and an even better one from his long profile.

    If the answers are something you really enjoy reading or that are a big factor in your decision, you may want to consider buying the long profiles for your favorite 2 or 3. Definitely call NW and make sure those particular donors have vials available first though. Good luck choosing!
    Mom to P (13), J (11), E (6), and Q (born December 2017)
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    JaisJais Posts: 384
    edited November -1
    Sassy2u does that mean that you have to meet with them or is it just something that they would be open to?

    I am not sure about meeting although maybe in the future the child would want that option..that may be the only reason to consider it.
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    SPJ&ESPJ&E Posts: 874 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Jais wrote:
    Sassy2u does that mean that you have to meet with them or is it just something that they would be open to?

    There's no obligation on either part (yours or the donor's). Some donors, at the time of filling out the application, are willing to meet. That just means that if the child wants to have contact with the donor (at age 18 or older), they can contact NW to try and do so. NW then tries to contact the donor. The donor may or may not want contact by then (some change their minds when they are older and/or married and/or have children of their own). They do not HAVE to agree to contact withthe child, even if they said they were willing to meet on their application. The same goes for a not willing to meet donor. He may change his mind later on and be willing to meet. Either way, there is no obligation...no requirement to meet at any point.
    Mom to P (13), J (11), E (6), and Q (born December 2017)
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    wylinzwylinz Posts: 358
    edited November -1
    I chose my donor based on haircolor and whether or not they would be willing to meet. From there, I chose someone I thought DH and I would both like hanging out with. DH didn't want to take part in choosing a donor, so I went with what I thought was best.
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    TTC #5 IUI at RE 11/4, medicated cycle. Yay!!!!!! It's a BFP!!!!!
    Baby Hunter born in July 2012
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    KTZKTZ Posts: 1,240
    edited November -1
    We chose a few donors based on health, height, eye color, family hx of disease and after we narrowed it down we sent those donor numbers to NW with a photo of my partner. Since I'm carrying we sent her picture. We took advantage of the free photo matching and they sent us back the top 3 of those donors. They even gave us a little description. For example, "the first choice looks most like pic but nose tips up a bit, second choice looks like photo but slightly darker skin tone, etc."

    Good Luck!
    KT
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