whyy??

hpflmommeez2b

i have decided that when i get pg i want to have a midwife and i would like to have natural birth. noone in my family has done this since my mother had me in 1988. and it is something really important to me and something that i want to give to my child. i told my cousin and her response to it was "your stupid!"then i had to explain to her my reasoning for it and she still doesnt get it because she opted for a c-section because she said she was to anxious to wait for the baby. this is why i havent and dont plan to tell anyone about when we are ttc and im not telling anyone im pg until at least 12 weeks!! except my mom because she is my biggest support system!! whats so wrong with natural birth?

cassafras

Have you seen "The Business of Being Born"? If not then you should! It is an awesome documentary about home births vs hospital births and the options women have when it comes to birthing. I highly recommend it!

Shaeley Mae

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Alot of women feel a great deal of pride, accomplishment, and peace after natural child birth.

But for ME, my thought process was why be in agony when you can be calm and pain-free, and enjoy the labor process : )

To each their own ........ and I definitely wouldn't call anyone "stupid" for deciding one way or the other. I think your "secret" TTC might be a very peaceful idea. ; )

Sassy2u

I am pondering the same thing: Hospital or Home. I wanted a home birth after watching that movie but then I ready a story of a couple here that lost there baby during birth due to a mistake by the midwife. And THEN, I read about another forum mother's birth on the other side and it was literally the movie play by play. So I do not know what to advise you to do.LOL The issue for me is that I live 20 minutes from the nearest hospital, so if there was an issue there would be no emergency care withing seconds. It is a very hard decision and I wish you luck with it and I hope whatever you decide is the right choice for you and baby.

A&J

I chose to work with a midwife and deliver at a birthing inn rather than a hospital...I personally would not do it any other way (as long as my pregnancy was low risk). I formed such a strong bond with my midwife and felt very confident in her knowledge and abilities. This in turn helped me to have a very positive pregnancy as well as delivery experience. At this point I would do a lot of reading and research into both scenarios and see what fits you best. It is a very personal decision that should be based on your needs, wants, and ideals rather than those of others. Many people thought I was crazy and some even considered this option as risky. I saw it as the complete opposite...again, each of us have such different perspectives. Make an informed decision and do what is right for you and your baby.

em'smoms

If you have a good relationship with and trust your MW or OB than you should feel safe in the hospital. I wanted to do all natural with DD but ended up having to induce due to potential complications and labor came on too fast so after 4 excruciating hours I gave in and asked for the epi. I was soooo much more relaxed and enjoyed the process afterwards! Even had the nurse bring in a mirror so I could watch! Next time I won't hesitate to get the epidural again.
That said I have the utmost respect and admiration for women who choose to go all natural, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons and not to be a martyr!! Go For It!

friendamy

everyone has different comfort levels and expectations - calling someone plan "stupid" is just thoughtless.

I had a midwife do my prenatal care and labor. she would have done the birth as well, but I ended up with a section. but I loved the idea of a midwife.... and I felt I needed a hospital.

I have several friends who did midwife assisted homebirths and they went just as perfect as can be

care&ali

Girl, this is up to you and DP and nobody else. I understand family and friends will always give their input, however appropriate or inappropriate, but in the end you don't have to answer to any of them. I would love to do a natural birth, but I will probably not, just because I am the anxious type and I wouldn't want to take a chance on anything unforseen happening. But kudos to you for being so brave! Keep us posted!

rktink13

Nothing, I plan on having a midwife and doing a home water birth with my third. I think the hospital is to high stress for me and the epidural hasnt worked eithre time so I would prefer to hav a supportive team around me helping me get through it in the comfort of my own home. And everytime I give birth I am starving half way through and cant eat! I so want to be able to eat....lol. Its a personal descision and good for you for going forth with it and trying something outside of the norm.

hpflmommeez2b

yesss i saw that one and i also saw another called "pregnant in america". i am not planning on a home birth just because i dont think we have the space and i dont know if i would be comfortable lol!!! i have researched and plan to do so until i am pg. i dont want to be a martyr for anything or anyone! this has no cause! just my strong feelings behind it all!! i want to be able to know all the highs and lows of the birthing process and in the end the biggest high of all once i finally deliver my baby. dp is behind me regardless of what choice i make and my mom is as well!!! lol yess keeping it a secret is so i dont feel the constant pressure if we dont get a bfp right away lol!! and i want to have some choices made before i allow my abrasive and opinionated family into a very private time in my life. and like all of you say i do not in anyway knock anyone who chooses epi's or whatever! for me its like this..what4ever you have to or want to do to enjoy bringing your child into the world go ahead!! but i was really upset when she said that to me!! she made many bad choices when pg with her child and i said nothing...just gave her all the support i could. so i think its rude lol... i have looked into the birthing center that i will hopefully be able to use and they have emt's and a hospital on standby in the event of complications! so im not going into this blind or half cocked lol!!!

LK

I had my daughter totally natural and IMO it was the worst thing ever. I had her when I was 18 and I got pregnant with my son when I was 35. I still remembered how awful my daughters birth was so I had an elective c section with my son. I loved having a c section. If you were in my family and said you wanted a totally natural birth I would look at you like you were insane. I would be way too scared to ever have a home birth IMO there are hospital, doctors and pain meds for a reason. I have zero faith in midwives because when I was pregnant with our first son the midwife could not tell the difference between my heartbeat and my sons even after I told her over and over that what she was hearing was my heartbeat not the baby's---he no longer had a heartbeat and he was stillborn. That is the other reason that I would never have a home birth--too many things could go wrong (and often do) there is noway I would risk mine or my baby's life.

hpflmommeez2b

@ rk thats how i feel!! lol yeaa i remember when my mom had my bro we are all eating and she was miserable lol!!! thanks for the support!! i think preparing myself for it in advance will hopefully have its perks!!
woww! i see that you had an awful experience! i hear more horror stories from hospital deliveries as opposed to midwives. and im not sayin that there arent flaws with them but i think its a balance with hospitals. hospitals and doctors arent perfect and i think that when it comes down to it it is a decision that must be made by you personally. if i felt that things were not working out with my midwife i would probably try to check another or inlist the help of an ob. but everyone's experience is purely individual. my mom had me natural and said although it was painful the pain was goin after i was out. and she had a c section with my bro and said it was horrible and she still has tenderness where she was cut! so again the birth process is verryyy individual to you and each of your children and the same with all other women

LK

Omg yes everyone is so different and they way they tolerate pain is so different. For the life of me I cannot handle AF cramps but I had no problem after a c section--and I have broken my arm tore my rotator cuff broke both collar bones and I was in no pain. I was not saying that I think women are insane for choosing a natural birth, I was just saying that if you were in my family my reaction to your want for a natural birth would be similar to your cousins just because my experience was so awful. Many stillbirths happen at the hospital with doctors present--I just don't think I could ever forgive myself if my baby was stillborn and I thought he would have survived if only I made a different choice. Most stories I hear of midwives are very positive--sometimes I think I got the only idiot midwife ever. Regardless of the method you choose, I hope you have the exact birth that you want. Please keep us updated--good luck!!

alp75

I have had all my childrennatural...I always wanted meds and went into labor so quick its never an option. To me ----it was awful! I hate pain and havea super low pain tolerence. I hope and pray this last one will be medicated!

hpflmommeez2b

@ lk omg you are a gansta lol!!! yea i know what your saying!!! there is that risk factor with whatever choice you make! and lol my family is that way too!! but i am very individual to them! and when the time comes i hope all goes well and i will definatelyyy keep you all updateddd!!!!
@ alp!! woow really? i think that suckss!! i think for natural birth you have to be in the mindset that that is what you are going to do! but when its something you do because you cant get around it then it will be even worse lol

PtownMoms

I have a very high pain tolerance. And I had planned on a natural birth...but in a hospital (only because we live an hour away from the hospital). With the way things turned out...I'm so glad I was in a hospital. I labored at home for about 3 hours then went to the hospital. 24 hours and an emergency c-section later....Finn was born. I have had 7 surgeries...and the c-section was definitely the hardest and most painful to recover from. BUT, I was also REALLY sick and totally exhausted by the time they actually did the c-section. I think if I would have had the c-section shortly after going to the hospital it would have been a different story.

Despite all that...I would STILL try to have a natural home birth if my doctor would let me for baby #2. I know that's not going to happen...he already told me.

Labor/delivery is so different for everyone. You definitely have to do what YOU think is best! : )

nervouswreck

Ill be honest... I am all for home birth .But, I wouldn't really go out of my way to encourage it with my family or friends unless they had a proven pelvis. I have known people that gave birth in just a few hours and, I have known others that have had major complications.Those that I thought would have the easiest labors hard the hardest and vice versa.
My first child I labored at home for 12 hours before going to the hospital. I was well into transistion when I got my epidural. Long story short... I still ended up with a C-section. I am the ONLY person in my family to ever have a C-section. I don't think the pain was horrible,but I think that I would still like to avoid it again if possible. My only issue is my Dr. only does repeat C-sections... If I want to do VBAC (unmedicated) then I have to go to Phoenix or Tucson, in other words 170 miles either way as the crow flies
So what I am saying is that you need to do what you think is right for you, and be prepared for the unexpected to happen.

hpflmommeez2b

@ptown wow!!thats intense! but in the end you got your beautiful little one!! and for me it doesnt matter how the little one comes out as long as they do lol!! but i am very intent on trying natural birth! and like you said its a very unique situation for everyone!!
@ nervouswreck lol i dotn plan on trying to do that with my family because if i did i would be talking until i was dead and gone!! they are stubborn and only see things from one angle!! that being said i am trying to prepare myself now for what likes ahead!! even though i know this wont be happening for at least another year or so i figure if i take in all the info and first hand accounts and documentaries i can get my hands on i will not be going into this blind!! but with my eyes wiiideee open!! and its funny most girls i know that are my age think im insane too lol!! but i always hope for the best and expect the worse in all situations i come in contact with!! and this is no exception