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Legal questions!!

BMJKBMJK Posts: 113
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
So, being in the wonderful state of Alabama, where gay rights and marriage do not exist, I am wondering what I should do about legal issues with our baby. I don't want to seem like a bad person for thinking all of this, I like to think I look at every outcome and have the answers all worked out. I know it is never something we want to think about happening, but bad things do happen in the delivery rooms, and it everyday life. Anyways, I guess with our first baby coming in September I want to make sure everything is taken care of for the Just In Case situation. I know that Misty loves me and my family with everything she has, and her family seems to like me pretty well. But, I am worried of something did happen to Misty, what would become of our child. I don't want the people that DO have a problem with our family and relationship, to take it away from me. I want to make sure that if anything did go wrong, that I would still be able to raise our baby without any issues or problems.

So I suppose my question is, what exactly should we do to make sure thing work the way we would like them to? Should we just hire a lawyer and get everything handled in the legal way? I guess the Lawyer would be the best way, but I am uncertain what we are in need of. I can not adopt our little nugget, nor can I put my name on the Birth Certificate. I figured that with all the knowledgeable ladies on the forum, someone will know exactly what we are looking for.

Thank You all so much for you time and advice.
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    allthingsluckyallthingslucky Posts: 467
    edited November -1
    I'm pretty sure that adoption is an option in alabama. Dp and I lived there and when we were reading about it it was able to be done. Google lgbt lawyers in alabama and talk to one of them. They don't have to live near you to do the papers. I'm not a 100% sure, but alabama doesn't specifically restrict lesbians form adoption, so there may be ways around it.
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    cocobaycocobay Posts: 1,318
    edited November -1
    Just wanted to chime in with my experience. I have spoken to many lawyers, one who is a lesbian herself and specializes in this sort of thing. The only way you can have legal rights to the baby is if your wife gives up her rights and you adopt the baby. Alabama does not allow same sex couples to adopt. You can have a will drawn up that states you get custody if your partner passes away and you can also get power of attorneys. There is a lawyer in Mobile we are planning to use. Her name is Christine Hernandez. Check her out and also look on her website. She has worked with lots of couples I know. She was recommended to me by the attorney I work for. Good Luck.
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    KNSKNS Posts: 399
    edited November -1
    I was going to suggest the will like cocobaby. I hope the lawyer she mentioned can give some solid answers.

    On a side note, I really wish the laws on these sorts of things would catch up to the 21st century. It pisses me off that same sex couples have to put up with such BS.
    Karen
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    allthingsluckyallthingslucky Posts: 467
    edited November -1
    I obviously am not a lawyer, but this is what I found on the HRC website. It might be worth looking into.

    http://ww.hrc.org/laws_and_elections/state/705.htm
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    BMJKBMJK Posts: 113
    edited November -1
    Thank you all for your responses, it always makes me feel better to know that I have people I can count on to help out. Especially ones that have been, or are going through the same situations.

    Cocobay...I appreciate the recommendation, I sent her an email explaining everything and I am crossing my fingers that she can give me more information than the lawyers I have already spoken with.

    KNS..I understand your frustration completely.. I am pissed off everyday that I cannot marry the woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know I don't need a piece of paper telling me how much I love her, but it would be nice to have the option. I am also upset that nobody on the legal side of things will never view me as our child's Momma. But I still have hopes for the future that someday, it will happen!
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    LoveShackBabyLoveShackBaby Posts: 118
    edited November -1
    I used to live in Huntsville and when my FtM partner and I started this process we looked into lawyers too. We didn't have any help in northern AL but I'd suggest looking into lawyers in Birmingham, as we were able to find very open minded people there. We have yet to get our BFP and we live elsewhere now so we didn't have to go through all of this stuff. I wish you LOTS of luck with the pregnancy and the legal crap to follow.
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    LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    I really think that it would be great for you guys to all move to New England, CT, MA Vermont all either have civil unions and/or same sex marriage---1/2 joking- lol

    We live in CT our entire lives. Lauren and I got married on 10/5 so when Beck was born we had to fill out the motherS. We have all of our wills explaining everything so if something were to ever happen to one of us our kids will be taken care of the way we want them---we used very clear launguage because if something happens to us we want Paige to have full custody of Beck---we are trying to do everything so no one can contest it (although anyone can contest anything.)

    Well good luck I just think it's all so crazy that the federal law won't allow same sex marriages!
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    LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    Oh I also wanted to mention that we flew out of the country and we had to get Beck a passport and both Lauren and I were on his passport so we both needed to be there to. We had no trouble getting into the other countries or back into our country!
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    twicejesstwicejess Posts: 228
    edited November -1
    I made up a will and named DP as the guardian if anything should happen to me. I was so afraid labor was literally going to kill me that I wanted this in writing before the baby was born. You cannot do adoption until after the kiddo is born, so at least I had it in writing if something crazy happened.

    We are getting ready to redo our wills since baby #2 will be here in a few months. A will at least gives you the chance to have your wishes heard if something happens and if someone contests it, than it is up to the judge.

    My cousins parents split up and their mom was killed in a car accident a few months later. Even though the father was capable, the mom's parents contested his custody. It was a complete family MESS.
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