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Thank you! **cross posted**

twondratwondra Posts: 81
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
I have a lot to write out but right now I just can't. I want to thank everyone for all your comments, emails, thoughts, prayers, everything.

Selfishly I haven't been able to go to any blogs/boards. I'm sorry. I just can't hear about IVF cycles, see baby bumps, ultrasound pics, pregnancies etc. right now. I just can't and I'm sorry. Please know I still pray for you guys and still wish you sincerely the best. I really do. I just need to take care of myself. Please accept my apology.

This has been a huge loss, much bigger than a lot know. We had decided that this would probably be my last chance to try and carry for several reasons so not only are we grieving the loss of our babies, I'm also grieving the loss of carrying and it hurts so much.

Please don't tell me not to give up, that it's always possible, that anything can happen, etc. I know all that. But, right now, I need to grieve carrying along with the loss of our babies. I need to for me.

If any of this sounds harsh, please know that is not the intention. I would never want to sound harsh. I'm just devastated and hurt more than I ever thought I could.

Thank you all so much for all your support and love and holding me up when I can't stand on my own.

Love you all and I couldn't make it through this without your love.

Thank you.

((HUGS))
Tammy and Mark...TTC since 2003
12 failed IUIs, 1 failed IVF after rare fertilized eggs not dividing, Adopted 3 perfect embies in April 2010--BFN.
Undergoing FET with 3 adopted embies spring 2011
www.twondra.blogspot.com
www.freewebs.com/twondra Mark's transplant journey

Comments

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    coryandamandacoryandamanda Posts: 1,527
    edited November -1
    Thinking of you. I hope things get a little better each day.
    July 4, 2015
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    annerbonesannerbones Posts: 1,812
    edited November -1
    Thinking of you.
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    Progesterone therapy and baby aspirin daily

    Two miscarriages in between (August 2012 - same donor as Maggie, and December 2014 with husband)
    Maggie
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    texas4texas4 Posts: 60
    edited November -1
    Tammy, noone could ever ever accuse you of being selfish. Please know that I will always think of you as one of the kindest, most big-hearted people I know.

    Do whatever you need, for as long as you need to heal yourself. We care so much about you and even if all we can do is listen, we will always be here for that.

    May peace find you soon.
    Karen & Lori (DP & bio-mom)
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    L on the left, G on the right

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    ksmommyksmommy Posts: 29
    edited November -1
    Hi, You don't sound harsh at all...and take all of the time that you need to grieve the loss of your babies and your hope to carry. The struggle to have a baby can hurt so much and seems so unfair sometimes. I hope each day brings you a little more peace in your heart. Take care of yourselves.
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    jenoglvjenoglv Posts: 669 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just wanted to let you know that you are such an awesome person and role model. You have a truly generous heart. I hope when the time is right, God opens a new door for you and Mark.
    Jennifer SMBC, mama to Rhys.

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    ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    I think of you every day and hope that somehow there's a way for a child to find a path to you.
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    GaBeekeeperGaBeekeeper Posts: 916
    edited November -1
    So sorry for this tremendous loss. You would never come off as sounding harsh or selfish. You have been one of the most supportive people I have ever known on any board or forum.
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    tangotango Posts: 75
    edited November -1
    Please don't ever think you come across as harsh or selfish. You must be broken-hearted. "I'm sorry" seems so insufficient, but it's all I have. I wish you physical and mental healing.
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    CharmedCharmed Posts: 205
    edited November -1
    My heart just breaks for you. I pray that you are able to find peace and understanding and that the love of God will wrap around you and bring you comfort in this most difficult time. Take care of yourself and know that no one should ever begrudge you that.
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