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Babywise?
palegreen
Posts: 1,478
I have some friends that have a 7week old little girl. Yesterday they recommended I read the book "Babywise" to help us settle into a routine when our little guy arrives. Have any of you read it? If so, do you recommend it? I've also heard about "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer"....any feedback on this book?
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The authors of "Babywise" are fundementalist christians and the book was originally written as a manual within their church (a no-birth-control, women obey their husbands, homeschooling, spare the rod and spoil the child type church).
The original version of the book was hotly protested. There were letter writing campaigns and drives where women would steal the books from the public library to try to keep people from reading it and "harming" their children. The LaLeche League spoke out against the book as hindering a breastfeeding relationship and hurting attachment. There were charges that some babies became malnourished and had failure to thrive by women following the book explicitly (usually women within that church who were trying to do the letter of the law).
Some pediatricians became alarmed. Other pediatricians said women needed to read the book with a grain of salt and use common sense. Because the book presented a nice formula of routine, it worked well for some people, and some pediatricians advocated the book for the routine part. And some pediatricians who supported the religious movement the book came from also advocated for it from that angle.
The book became wildly popular within churches, it was THE manual for women (along with "how to sumbit to your husband joyfully" type books). At the same time, homeschooling kids for religious reasons started taking off, and there were publishing houses for all those kinds of books and Babywise was one of their bestsellers. And then the Duggars started getting famous and they mentioned how they used those books, and they exploded.
Over the years, the publishers toned down a lot of the book to make it more mainstream. Especially the parts that pediatricians had complained about were removed. So if you buy a new copy you won't know what all the fuss was really about within the book itself.
The authors of the book are very conservative, traditional, husband-led, and homophobic (I am just saying this is their platform). The Ezzo's (the authors of Babywise) speak at conventions etc on these topics, and they have a curriculum of books, tapes, and videos that are used by churches called "Growing Kids Gods Way." Some of their opinions are pretty controversial.
The most controversial thing about the Ezzos are that they are associated with and recommend books by the Pearls. Who are the Pearl family? They wrote the book "Train up a Child" which is a religious manual on parenting that says to spare the rod is to spoil the child. The Pearls book says to start switching a child by 18 months on the legs with a weed-whacker cord or a switch from a tree. The Pearls also say you need to "blanket train" your baby, which means putting baby on a blanket and telling it not to move off. If baby moves off blanket, you spank baby with a wooden spoon or a switch. You put a toy outside the blanket to tempt the baby, and you tell it not to move. If baby moves for toy, spank. Repeat till baby learns the lesson. They say to do these training sessions every day and you will have an obedient baby (that will grow up to be God fearing and husband obeying).
So....... Babywise is probably a book a liberal gay couple would not want in their stroller, LOL!
Even the conservative christian group "Focus on the Family" spoke out against the Ezzos Babywise book because they believed it was too radical and harmful to small children.
I had a Women's Studies class that studied all these folks, and there is a LOT going on behind the scenes with this one
Some women have left that movement and called it a cult. If you are curious, this is a former member of the church who writes about it: http://nolongerquivering.com/tag/gary-ezzo/
The Baby Whisperer woman was very liberal and gentle (she died of a brain tumor after her book was written). Her method was the Eat Play Sleep and I used it, it worked great. There is also another method called "12 hours by 12 weeks" and I loved that book (it's hard to get, I think it's been reprinted under a new name) and it is another sleep schedule book like Baby Whisperer.
Happiest Baby on the Block and the No Cry Sleep Solution are great if you are looking for a more child-led approach, you should check those out.
I have now added your suggestions to my registry and will NOT be considering Babywise.
Thanks again!
I took a lot from the 12 hrs of sleep by 12 weeks or whatever it is called, I have recommended it to several friends. I also have happiest baby on the block and NO cry sleep solution. I actually really recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block video- the 5 Ss are invaluable during those first few months!
I think what works for you is going to depend a lot on your personalities and your child's temperament. My daughter was extremely colicky so we couldn't really start any true routine until after 3 months, although we really tried. After that we tried some of the No cry methods but they did not work for her. She actually needed to cry it out alittle in order to settle down, if we went in and calmed her it just started the entire cycle over again and make it hours and hours of torture for us all. So we ended up letting her cry it out with very occasional and brief check ins and it worked very quickly- this was after about 6-8mos old.
And the Binky can be a blessing and a curse, so proceed with caution!!!
I recommend you get Happiest Baby on the Block- it is a MUST HAVE for the 5 Ss and a couple others that seem to be in line with your parenting style (at least what you think it will be) and then wait and see how the first couple months go and what type of temperament your baby seems to have. Then make the big decision on what method you will use to get her/him to sleep and be on a routine and stick to it. 3 years later we still are on a very similar bedtime routine as we were at 3 mos old and are very strict about bedtime and dealing with her getting out of bed after we say good night....it is back to the basics time for us!!!!
http://i1178.photobucket.com/albums/x379/rebstarrett/944677_10151369546027553_1685336174_n.jpg
Progesterone therapy and baby aspirin daily
Two miscarriages in between (August 2012 - same donor as Maggie, and December 2014 with husband)
Maggie
Some people have very strong opinions before they start parenting, but you never know how you might change your mind when you're in the thick of it and it's best to have a whole arsenal of tools, especially when it comes to sleep.
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Amanda and Chandra
Beth
I think instinct is key and that not enough moms trust it because they are barraged with info about how they SHOULD do things. That's one thing that really bothers me about this book and CIO and scheduling - when my babies cried, I felt actual physical pain. Why should that be ignored just to put them on some schedule that a writer who'll never meet them thinks they should have? We fed on demand and still do. I have posted here and elsewhere for advice on some things, but for most things, I just trusted my instinct. When their feedings started getting closer together, I increased the amount of milk. I never looked at a chart of how much they should be eating at a particular age. I just fed by babies when they were hungry, and fed them until they were full and happy and didn't worry about it. Life is full of enough stresses without creating more.