At what age would you....

Shanny

Put your child in private lessons for something? I have been going back and forth for several months about doing private lessons for Kate in gymnastics. On one hand I feel (probably like many people reading this) that she's 3 and it is a bit much, and expensive. The reasons I struggle with the decision then are because a)she is really quite good. she is athletic to begin with for a 3 year old but in the almost year and a half she has been taking classes she has really made a lot of progress and I could see her getting very good very fast if she had privates and b)I never had a "thing" as a kid and this bugs me. I did dance for a bit, gymnastics sometimes, soccer almost all the time (but I was awful), played and quite clarinet. My family as a whole never had a "thing" either. We weren't skiers or sailors or horseback riders - we just never had a THING! Does that make sense to anyone...I always wanted a thing so I want her to have a thing and I think gymnastics and or swimming could be it.

Anyway, I've switched her class once because it was getting full and she stood around much of the 45 minutes waiting for her turn to be spotted. There are usually 3 girls in her class once a week. I would continue the class and add a 30 minute private lesson per week or I could do 2 classes per week just for her to get more time in the gym and repetition or just leave it at one class per week right now.

annerbones

Does she want to do private lessons? What does her coach think? What does the person who would be doing the private lessons think?

Maggie is 2 and I have considered putting her in private swim lessons - we don't have any ISR instructors around her or within more than 200 miles. Maggie is good at swimming, and my goal is for her to be ative in swimming through high school and beyond. But I want that because I know the benefits of swimming, know that she will enjoy it. I also know that if she says I don't want to do this I would let her stop, she would have to do some other activity because I don't want her sitting around doing nothing ( which is how I spent my youth until I could work- my brother were both sporty and my parents didn't have time to take me to sports activities.)

allthingslucky

I agree with jdiana, I wouldn't just because I think its a bit much unless she wants to be an olympian or something. Maybe once shes older and has dreams of her own, but right now I would say maybe adding another class per week or something might up the challenge for her.

fisch

We are doing private swim lessons for jack. Not because I am expecting am Olympian, or even great passion for it (though I totally hope he finds that along the way), but because I desperately want him to be safe in the water. I myself took lessons for many years as a kid and love the water still. I feel the same about having a " thing". I've always claimed mediocracy at all sports. I tried everything though, and believed I could do well enough in anything if I wanted to. I just wish my parents had pushed in one direction or another a little more so that I excelled at something.

A&J

Anna and I intend on starting private music lessons with Olivia pretty early on. I won't put an exact age on when at this point as there are definitely a few things to take into consideration when determining readiness. This aside I think the one on one time from a talented instructor can't be beat and is extremely valuable. I think kids get so much from this time aside from just the skills pertaining to the lessons. It's great to also help them find what their interests may be and give them the opportunity to experience and try different things.

All of this said, I didn't really grow up having a " thing" either. I played a few sports, piano, tried drama, but nothing really clicked. Part of this was me, but another part I believe is that I didn't get much support or encouragement from my family. On the other hand my partner is an extremely talented musician, as are several of her family members. Music and having this talent has brought much more to her life other than just the ability to play and appreciate music. Starting at a very young age she learned about commitment, confidence, communication ( that one on one instruction forces you to be more on the spot actively listening and engaged than in a group lesson). She has mentioned many times that those early lessons helped to prepare her for many parts of later life-- timeliness, ability to handle being critiqued, independence, responsibility, and the list goes on. Anna did go on to play music professionally and to teach as well, but this wasn't her original intention. Many of her college students get Music scholarships, but do not major in Music. They are just using their talent as a resource, like many athletes do in college. Anyway, you can see that we think you should go ahead and sign Kate up if you can find a well respected awesome instructor. Seeing the skills Kate develops will be worth every penny. If she doesn't like it, she will still have the opportunity to learn about trying something and sticking it out ( if you pay ahead for lessons or sign a contract). Oh, and my 29 year old sister took gymnastics growing up and definitely is not a professional, but looks pretty cool doing backflips through the backyard when you ask her if she still can:-). Good luck with deciding!

allthingslucky

I guess I should have clarified. I don't think private lessons are for the bees. I think that depending on the activity they can be very helpful, if not necessary. But specifically at this point for Kate and gymnastics, I don't think I would choose private instruction over another class.

lolabel

What others have been saying... unless you have serious ambitions for her, better to be in group lessons probably. However, if she starts learning a musical instrument, private lessons are necessary for progress past the most basic learning, so save your money for her music lessons.

Shaeley Mae

I, too, think it depends on what you/she want to get out of it.

If it's for fun, experimenting, socialization, physical fitness, etc, then a group setting is ideal.
If it's to play out a passion or a dedication to be truly excellent at something, then private lessons are ideal.

Example, L starts private swim lessons tomorrow. They are private because it's for saftey. It's critical that she get dedicated attention and be consistenly engaged.
This Fall though, I will enroll her in dance or soccer. My hope with that is that she become socialized in group/team activities, and hopefully find something that she would like to pursue futher (...... and hopefully Mama gets to socialize too ). But because it's more of an experiential effort, the one-on-one is not important.

Lindsay

If you have already started with group and aren't satisfied I would try private...You will know within a few lessons whether it should continue or not...She will let you know:)) I put Lily in group swimming lessons..She has had two lessons so far and there is 5 little girls in all in this group..The lesson last for 45 minutes..I will not sign her up for a group lesson again..Next time will be private because I want her to learn to swim with us living around so much water and she just doesn't get that much one on one time to learn..She for the most part hangs on the side of the pool waiting her turn watching..And for me(like Shaely Mae said)swimming is important when you live around so much water...

babybaby

A&J wrote:

All of this said, I didn't really grow up having a " thing" either. I played a few sports, piano, tried drama, but nothing really clicked. Part of this was me, but another part I believe is that I didn't get much support or encouragement from my family. On the other hand my partner is an extremely talented musician, as are several of her family members. Music and having this talent has brought much more to her life other than just the ability to play and appreciate music. Starting at a very young age she learned about commitment, confidence, communication ( that one on one instruction forces you to be more on the spot actively listening and engaged than in a group lesson). She has mentioned many times that those early lessons helped to prepare her for many parts of later life-- timeliness, ability to handle being critiqued, independence, responsibility, and the list goes on

THIS. i'm not saying i am going to be a tiger mom, but i do think there is value in really pushing a child beyond their fleeting interest in something (especially if you see that she has natural talent in something). there will be times when a child learning piano will think it's a drag to have to practice. but beethoven was forced to practice by an abusive father (not saying that's cool), was forced to perform in front of heckling audiences at 12 years old, and look at what he gave the world as a result. i'm sure this is a common thread with all the greats, whether they're musicians or gymnasts. if you see natural talent in kate, i say go for it!

cAtWmN84

i would do private as well before i would add a second similiar class to her schedule.as long as she is enjoying it but i would also talk with her coach and see about moving her up into a level 1 class or something like that.they might or might not depending on their rules.i would also talk to the owner of the gym(thats what i did).she agreed to have her evaulated.this was about 2 months ago.i told them i wanted her in a class that will help her get ready for competition eventually.so they placed her on the pre-team.adri is the youngest on the team at 4 so i'm guessing 1 class down from that would be a level 1 class and would be perfect for kate

Zen

I tend to think bell curve for private lessons. If your child is in the outlying percentiles, they'll get more out of private lessons than mainstreamed instructions. Private instruction is also great for those times that you want to give your child that extra push to get further faster.

That said, what do you want Kate to get out of gymnastics? If it's fun and coordination along with socialization skills, keep her in the class. But if you're looking to go junior elite, private lessons will showcase her potential better.

mommylove

I was three when I began taking group dance classes, and four when my parents added in private/individual dancing lessons. I danced until I was 21 years old so it was certainly my "thing" and a passion for me. While I was in college I decided to quit the dance company I was with at the time, since I decided it wasn't going to be a career for me in the end. I have however taken many adult dance classes since then, just for fun, without so much of the pressure of competitive dance that I felt in my earlier years.

I do agree that encouraging your child to develop in an area that they show interest or talent in is super important. That may mean they find one activity that they LOVE and are good at early on and they stick with it for years, or it may mean trying many different things and helping them find something they enjoy and are challenged by.

Dance just so happened to be big in my family since my Mother was a professional ballerina for 20 years and ever since she retired from professional dancing she has taught at several studios. She was classically trained in dance in London where she was born and raised, and danced in the national ballet in both England and Germany. She also traveled with several broadway shows including the original cast of CATS. Having that history did mean she perhaps applied a bit more pressure than the usual parent when it came to dancing, but I do think it only helped my siblings and I always work hard and do our best. I learned physical and emotional discipline, appreciation for an artform, how to listen and follow instruction from an early age, and what it meant to have passion for something. My dance career is one I am proud of and I always have videos, costumes, bags full of ballet shoes, etc. to look at and remember all the neat performances I took part in.

Ok, this turned into a far longer post than I'd imagined, but I think my point has been made. There is great benefit in encouraging your child to have something they are a part of that is both challenging and pleasurable to them. Whether individual or group lessons in sports, arts, etc. I am all for it. I do think individual lessons can benefit those children especially who happen to show a little extra talent or gift for that certain activity.

jenoglv

If it's something she wants to do, then why not? Either that or move her to a more competitive gym (such as WOGA in Plano). I too want my kids to have a "thing." My only "thing" was watching tv, lol. Like you, I did a few different things, but never stuck with it. We talked about doing private lessons for Rhys' swimming once he's older, and I'm all for that. Thankfully he's a pretty active kid, so I plan on putting him in stuff like soccer (once he becomes more coordinated).

Shanny

Well, I think I've got answer. I had spoken to her first coach and she was all for it. She's a young, energetic girl that Kate (and every other girl at the gym) just absolutely loves. She would likely be the one who I would ask to do the privates, I just don't think she actually looked at it from a parents point of "is it worth it at this point?". Anyway, I've been thinking lately of waiting until she is 4. At that point she and A will be in the same class (as oppsed to now K takes from 5-5:45 and A 5:30-6:25 so we are there a looong time...just ask Lydia!). Jen - they do go to a gym comparable to WOGA but I am contemplating switching to WOGA just because of location (there is a woga dallas location, our current gym is in Richardson). Anyway, I asked her current coach and he thought it might be a good idea to wait until she is 4. No other kids showed up to her class so she ended up with a 45 minutes private anyway! And what an eye opener that was. I actually went in to the gym at one point to tell her to start focusing and paying attention. I'm really glad I wasn't paying private lesson prices for that display! So we'll hold off until she is 4 and see where we are at then. She already does private swimming (ISR) lessons for the last 3 years and will start stroke lessons next year. But like others have said, I think swimming is a whole different ball game. We'll start piano when she's 5 so she well rounded of course .

Thanks for all of the input!

lville

Yay! Glad you got the answers/insight you were looking for :-)

I was just going to add that gymnastics is a great gateway for other sports/activities too. I really wish I had stuck with it, as I think it would have made my dancing abilities more competitive. Having a good background in gymnastics really is essential for many kinds of dance, not to mention cheer leading, and other activities that require balance, flexibility and strength.

Plus, I really wish I had learned how to do a back flip...just for "cool" purposes :-)