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Am I alone?!?!

ImtryinghereImtryinghere Posts: 14
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
Help oh help......some how having kids and getting wrapped up that is the joy of family life; I've lost my relationship. I am so heart sick. On the appearance of 'us' we are two loving parents that teach relevant lessons and contribute to a child that loves freely, cares for others and uses manners, focuses on respect, values education,,,,I'm sure I could throw a few more buzz words....but the truth is that I love my wife; but I feel no sexual attraction yo her.

How'd that happen? Sex was never critical; but I feel like I'm living with my best friend that gave me a wedding ring. I don't want new, I want to change where we are..... I want direction on how to make it better.....

Any guidance
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    allthingsluckyallthingslucky Posts: 467
    edited November -1
    I don't think you're alone. I think it's normal for couples to go through similar things. Have you read "The Five Languages of Love?" That might be a good starting book.
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    stash7210stash7210 Posts: 998
    edited November -1
    First, I love the tag. That is a new term to me, but a relevant one.

    As for the best friend giving you a wedding ring, I have known how you feel. We don't have kids yet, but we have hit that patch before. But it always passes. To me, it seems that this happens when you are too comfortable in your relationship, or you are mad at her for something. You might not even realize you are mad.

    What to do about it? Well, my DW and I got together in the fall, and that seems to be the time of the year that we are most lovie. So it always 'fixes' it's self around then. But during the rest of the year, we do have to try a little harder sometimes. I have noticed that the longer you go with out sex, the easier it is to go with out sex. But once it is back in the equation, you are like "Why were we not doing this more?" Also, my DW will dress up, take me out, and romance me. That always helps. But the biggest thing for us is getting back into shape. We have just gotten so lazy together. I wasn't feeling good about my body and she wasn't feeling good about her's either. Since we started losing weight, we have more energy to burn, and we can't keep our hands off of each other. Plus, when we think we can move no more, we will try to 'have fun' so we do have to move more.

    We have also started spending more time apart. So we can miss each other. That seems to help too. Good luck!!!
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    babymakes3babymakes3 Posts: 433 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    We are going through similar stuff. I often tell,her it is as if I am sharing a bed with my best friend. I think this happens to is us couple of times a year. Going out more helps a lot. Even when we are out we mostly talk about our son. It is very hard to remember the things we liked before children. We are a work in progress.
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