Park "bullies"

michgirl

We have a really "fun" park in town that the boys LOVE. The park is less than a mile from the state park campground. The state park does not have a "fun" play ground just one set of swings and one slide, so a lot of campers let their kids walk down the park and use the "fun" playground.
The problem is these kids are usually bigger and are "testing out" the lack of mom and dad around. They usually end up on top of the swings, on the outside of the tunnels, on the roof of the fort etc.
Last night there was a group of kids there playing like that but they started blocking little kids (my kids and others) from using part of the playground.
Where is the "line" when speaking to other people's kids? I asked/told these kids to stop it and the little kids could play there too, and they replied with "you are not my mom and I do not have to listen to you". Later they scared Jax and made him cry so we left but the boys then cried about having to leave early. So what do I do??????

christeacher

I know its not the same thing but I encountered a similar problem with taking my summer campers to the park. I have a 4 year old in our group who really wants to hang with older kids. One time we went and there was a very large group of middle schoolers "hanging" (causing trouble) there at the same time. I had a lot of tolerance until they were putting his safety at risk. They also asked him "do you think she is hot" talking about one of the older girls, of course he had no clue what they were talking about but I did. I turned on my "back the f off" voice and told them that what they were doing was inappropriate, also told them that if they put another hand on him then I was calling the police. Needless to say they left my kids alone after that. But I have no problem correcting other peoples kids behavior when it is affecting my summer campers or my family, but I teach martial arts for a living so I am used to it.

A&J

How frustrating. I'm also thinking that when most kids are confronted by an adult and asked to play nicely or whatever they typically listen, right??? Obviously not these kids. It sounds like these are the type that do in fact need their parents there to supervise. No advice, just irritated for the lack of manners and respect these kids were displaying.

Shanny

I would have done what christeacher did and after a warning I would have threatened to call the police. And then I would have followed through if needed.

Shaeley Mae

michgirl wrote:

Where is the "line" when speaking to other people's kids?

If the kids' parents aren't around, I don't think that much of a "line" even exists.
You're the adult, the kids aren't behaving appropriately .... I think you have every right to make a firm request that they behave differently.
And so what if you're "not his mom" ..... it doesn't matter because you're an "adult" .... that's all that matters. Now, he obviously hasn't been taught to respect adults (or children), but it won't hurt to show him that he needs to respect you.

annerbones

I am pretty straight forward - I tell the big kids they are out of place and need to let the little kids play. I would also defend myself to parents if they had an issues with it but when I have had to do this their parents are usually supportive.

Zen

Other people's kids get a polite request from me the first time, and then a command. I would not touch the kids but you can step in and defend territory for your kids the same as they're doing. I would hesitate to threaten police action (unless dealing with teens) because if you don't follow through, your credibility is lost. And if you do follow through,what happens next? Can the cops issue a warning and leave? Or would that constitute leaving unsupervised children in a hostile situation? You don't want kids taken into police custody for not playing nicely.

Klt86

I was going to suggest threatening with the police, but I would actually make a fake phone call in front of them to scare the crap out of them.

kitty

I have scolding kids, and the older ones especially when they start swearing I tell them to stop...
If they dont use your cell phone and call the police. Serious... you kids should feel safe

lville

I would not hesitate to call the police if after a verbal warning did not work.

I did so on an occasion with the little brats (prolly ages 8, 10, and 12) in my neighborhood who were throwing rocks at my back deck and climbing on a tree on my property. I did not mind them in the tree, but the rock thing had to stop. Luckily, my landlord is a police officer Her beat partner came by with all his gear on and asked the boys where they lived, their names, their parents names, etc. He had to do nothing further. They boys were surprisingly very cooperative.

I would call mostly because the other children's parents are responsible for their behavior, and unfortunately they are not around to supervise. This probably is a symptom of a larger family problem. Kids need to be taught to respect adults, even if they have to learn the hard way, I will not hesitate to facilitate that lesson.