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Kids and Chores
Kari
Posts: 1,765
I'm curious at what age you start, and what the expectations are. I have Justin do small things I feel he should be doing, but I also see/sense his frustration when I occasionally give him a task I think he should be able to do but he just doesn't understand or won't comply.
On a similar note, I saw a FB post earlier this evening that indicated that the parent changed the wi-fi password every morning, and her kids had to complete a list of chores before she'd share it for the day. I might have to share that idea with my sister who waits on her teens rather than asks them to do anything. I definitely don't want my kids treating me like hers treat her.
Another friend of mine has adult children home from college and they are each required to plan, purchase, cook, serve, and clean up after a family dinner one night each week. I think that's a good idea as well, and that even high schoolers could do all but the purchasing part.
Growing up I had to do my own laundry, vacuum the house, and clean up after dinner starting at age 10. The last two chores my sister and I alternated turns with, and the person who had to load/unload the dishwasher all week got remote control privileges that week in the living room. Earlier than that, I was responsible for putting my own dishes in the sink, folding towels, dirty clothes in the hamper, and picking up my toys/books. I don't remember when I started those tasks, but I imagine pretty young.
So what are your expectations at different ages?
On a similar note, I saw a FB post earlier this evening that indicated that the parent changed the wi-fi password every morning, and her kids had to complete a list of chores before she'd share it for the day. I might have to share that idea with my sister who waits on her teens rather than asks them to do anything. I definitely don't want my kids treating me like hers treat her.
Another friend of mine has adult children home from college and they are each required to plan, purchase, cook, serve, and clean up after a family dinner one night each week. I think that's a good idea as well, and that even high schoolers could do all but the purchasing part.
Growing up I had to do my own laundry, vacuum the house, and clean up after dinner starting at age 10. The last two chores my sister and I alternated turns with, and the person who had to load/unload the dishwasher all week got remote control privileges that week in the living room. Earlier than that, I was responsible for putting my own dishes in the sink, folding towels, dirty clothes in the hamper, and picking up my toys/books. I don't remember when I started those tasks, but I imagine pretty young.
So what are your expectations at different ages?
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So far, she is responsible for feeding the dog, picking the mail up off the floor (slot through the front door) and putting it in the mail bin, putting her clothes in the laundry bin, cleaning up her toys, and helping to unload the dishwasher. She also helps cook by stirring and pouring. At this age she loves it and thinks it's fun and a great challenge. We don't want to miss that window and have her thinking that she isn't responsible for helping to maintain our family home. Now, of course, all of these require encouragement and some assistance from us, but she's getting more and more independent with them every day.
Unloading the dishwasher (she puts away everything in the lower cabinets, usually about 1/3 of what is in the dishwasher)
Clearing the table - bringing both of our dishes to the sink for me to rinse and load in to the dishwasher
Food washing - lettuce, potatoes, radishes, carrots, fruits etc. She pulls her learning tower over to the sink to do this. She also makes our orange juice on the weekends.
Taking out trash, recycling and compost - we do this together.
Setting the table - she is usually repsonsible for getting out her own dishes and anything we need from the refrigterator - ketchup, butter etc.
She cleans up her own toys and puts all dirty clothes in to the laundry basket - right side out and ready to be washed (pet peeve of mine!)
She will sometimes sweep, put away laundry, fold towels, dust etc.
I think the key is to have things set up so they succeed. Kate can open our refrigerator and has been able to since we moved in to this house right after she turned 2. It will be years before any of the kids can open the fancy, expensive one at work (I can barely open it!). I'll take my old, white, easy to open one any day. A learning tower also makes help with anything in the kitchen a breeze! All of her cleaning supplies are kept low in the cleaning closet where she can get them herself - broom and dust pan, rags, spray bottlle with water and vinegar.
She also feeds the dog every morning at work.
I expect that within the next year we will move to more "heavy" cleaning - dusting, vacuuming etc as well as loading the dishwasher. Another key to me is to make the effort - my sister says it is just easier to unload the dishwasher herself than stop my neice from playing to ask her to help. She now has a 5.5 year old that goes ballistic when asked to do anything other than make a mess and be waited on....good times! Does Kate always comply? Of course not, but she rarely gets away with it! She's easy though. Last night when I told her what needed to be done she said she didn't want to and I said ok, I'll wait (this gets her every time for some reason - I have no idea why but it does!). I can't count to ten before she changes her mind and says she is ready to help. Tonight I knew she was tired and cranky. After clearing the table I told her she could finish helping me clean the kitchen or go start getting ready for bed. She chose to start getting ready for bed and that is fine because the point of the "chores" is not just so that she learns to do these things on her own but so that I have less to do and more is getting done at once. By her opting out of the kitchen but being completely ready for bed by the time I was done (jammies, potty, brushed teeth) it made my night easier and bedtime within reach.
I love the college kids being solely responsible for meal prep and agree that a highschooler could also do most of that. The key is not to wait until highschool and give them all the resposibilty minus purchasing. Baby steps from here will lead you to a high schooler that won't bat an eye when repsonsible for every aspect of a meal.
Can I ask what Justin is having trouble with? Is he not able to do the work or just refusing? There was a list last week going around FB about age appropriate chores.
(also, an idea.. My parents used to have us "blitz" the house. Turn on loud fast music and everyone cleans up as fast as they physically can. Sometimes the tedium of cleanup doesn't mesh well with a 3yos natural in inclination for speed and chaos. And then follow up with dessert, or bubbly juice or some other fun treat. It doesn't work for every day, but sometime when the mess is just driving you crazy and you're irritable and cranky it can be just the thing.)
Exactly. In our house it's called "life".
Since she could walk, Lilianna had to pick up her toys before bed. It's never been negotiable, and there will never be money involved. It's just a part of life.
And then shortly after that she began helping me transfer the clothes from the washer to the dryer, putting her dirty clothes in her laundry basket, throwing away her diapers/pull-ups, etc.
Around two years old she started carrying her own lunch (to the car/school), helping me take the trash out, putting her clothes away, and cleaning up her own messes/spills.
Oh, and now that her baby brother is here ..... she is the self-appointed diaper master. She LOVES restocking the diapers and picking out which one we should use at each diaper change.
Anyway, you get the idea. At 16 months old our son helps around the house in whatever capacity he can, and it isn't an option, it just is. We all help each other and take care of our home. I also find giving these tasks the title of chore makes them almost negative in a way and I prefer our children to believe and understand the concept of helping out and what it means to be part of a family.
All of this also plays into the love I do have for the Montessori schooling philosophy and those of you that know it will understand that. Seb has many things that mimic our own household things such as a kid sized broom, small wooden kitchen with pretend sink, tools, outdoor shovels and rake, etc. He enjoys using things that we use...so often when he plays he wants to sweep the floor or do dishes. Not only is that ADORABLE to watch, but he is learning life skills in the process.
October 2014
She has helped me with dishes too