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Racial Awareness in Preschool?
Zen
Posts: 2,942
Shiloh has recently become aware of skin color as a distinguishing feature in people. I had always planned to raise her to think that people are people and come in different shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. Much the same as dogs and cats and birds. You like them (or not) based on personality, temperment, and interaction.
Well ... the universe was not aware of my plans and spun in its own direction. Shiloh came home from preschool one day saying the brown boys wouldn't play with her because she's white. I didn't think much of it at the time and told her that she could play with anyone. But something about that little interaction stuck with her and now she comments on people by color. "The brown girl doesn't talk" (when an 8 year old did not acknowledge her hello). Or "that brown lady is my friend" (after getting a balloon in a store).
There's nothing negative or derogatory in anything she says. But I really do not want Shiloh qualifying people by color. I have tried telling her that we don't talk about people in public but that went right over her head. I don't know how to address this with her.
Well ... the universe was not aware of my plans and spun in its own direction. Shiloh came home from preschool one day saying the brown boys wouldn't play with her because she's white. I didn't think much of it at the time and told her that she could play with anyone. But something about that little interaction stuck with her and now she comments on people by color. "The brown girl doesn't talk" (when an 8 year old did not acknowledge her hello). Or "that brown lady is my friend" (after getting a balloon in a store).
There's nothing negative or derogatory in anything she says. But I really do not want Shiloh qualifying people by color. I have tried telling her that we don't talk about people in public but that went right over her head. I don't know how to address this with her.
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Comments
As for the daycare, I would check in with them and see if they notice the kids being relationally aggressive. If they're not aware of it, they're not paying close enough attention.
I'm going to ask around for advice on preschool specific curriculum talking about race. I'm sure there's good stuff out there that you could recommend to her program.
In Shiloh's world there are colors, numbers, letters, food, feelings, people, and animals. People reinforce these concepts and make her regurgitate it daily, I'm sure.
And much to her credit, she has articulated that a certain group of people have the same skin color in common, and she knows what color it is. Good for her.
As matter of redirection, I think she probably just needs a little clarification from you (but be careful not to sensationalize it).
Perhaps:
Shiloh: "Mommy, the brown kids didn't play with me"
Mom: "Oh, that's too bad, Sweetie. Do you know what their names were?"
-- This way you are redirecting her to focus on their names, without directly telling her to avoid the color label.
or maybe
Shiloh: "How come that brown girl is crying?"
Mom: "I'm not sure who you're talking about, Sweetie. Can you tell me what color shirt she's wearing?"
By constantly redirecting her to observe details other than skin color, I think she'll begin to follow that route, without feeling as thought her observations are bad or taboo.
At this age remembering everyones names can be a challange. So she will come home and say the yellow hair girl got time out or the black curly hair boy it was his birthday.