Do you have a rule for this?

Shanny

For the most part, Kate eats what I eat. There are a few things, whole meals sometimes, that I enjoy a lot and cook pretty regularly like once a month that she just doesn't care for. I won't stop eating something I like, nor force her to eat something she doesn't so I'm not sure if I want to establish another option for these nights (short of cooking a second meal which is not happening). Tonight I made tilapia and white potatoes. She's tried both of these things several times and just doesn't like them. She tried one bite of potatoes and 3 bites of fish (I try really hard not to negotiate "bites" - it drives me crazy). I told her she could have a bowl of cereal (something she could essentially fix on her own) but she wasn't interested in that so I'm kind of at a loss for a good alternative plan. She will try anything and I plan to keep having her try these meals each time because I know tastes change, but it doesn't make for much of a meal at 3-4 bites. I remember sometimes as kids we were allowed an "alternative" like cereal or a sandwhich but I don't feel like it was a consistent rule and I don't want her manipulating every meal in to "I don't like that" when in fact she does. Other than the tilapia the only other thing I eat somewhat frequently that she really doesn't like is beef stew so this doesn't come up too often. Does anyone else have suggestions for an otherwise really good eater who just doesn't always like what the family is having?

friendamy

for me, my DS eats what's for dinner and if he legitimately doesn't like it (there are a few, like Kate), he can have cereal or a quesadilla. I don't make a whole other meal. I know he doesn't like chili, so when I make that I'll sometimes do a grilled cheese sandwich. but yeah, if he doesn't like what we're having he knows he can have one of those.

if he's just being 5 and saying he doesn't like chicken and rice (or whatever)... when I know he powered down 2 servings last time, I'll remind him that he likes it and have him eat a bite. if he insists he doesn't like it (and dude, there are times I just don't feel like having something) he can have cereal.

I have had food issues, so I don't want to make him eating a "thing", you know? he eats healthy balanced meals 9 times out of 10, if he has one night of cereal he'll live. and truthfully, I've see. him make a meal out of "sides" - rice and veggies, salad and potatoes... whatever.

cAtWmN84

i'm prob not much help but when i know she really doesn't like what i'm having i'll fix her something separate.it doesn't happen often but if i know she truly doesn't like it i go ahead and fix something just for her while i'm cooking mine.if she decides she doesn't like whats on her plate,she will rummage through the kitchen and find something simple on her own.Liam will eat everything so far.lol

Flowergirl

As a child I was a very non picky eater, but there were a couple things that I truly didn't like that my family ate fairly often. My mom never made me a whole separate meal, but she did sometimes make me a substitute for the offending food that I was allowed to have along with a small helping of the food I didn't like. For example, I hated sweet potatoes and squash, so whenever she made those for a meal, she would bake me a plain potato. I also had to eat a small spoonful of the squash or sweet potatoes. The rest of the mela was always something I liked or at least didn't hate. I used to not like the cheese and toppings on pizza, so when we had pizza I always had a piece of pizza without the toppings. So basically I ate crust with sauce for my meal that night. Was it balanced? No, but it happened maybe once every 3 weeks or so - I ate plenty of balanced meals in between there.

One thing I might suggest is not making an entire meal that Kate doesn't care for. For example, if she doesn't care for tilapia and white potatoes, change it up and make tilapia and rice pilaf with green beans and forgo the white potatoes. Then she could eat a couple bites of tilapia and have rice and beans with maybe an extra side of fruit on the side or something. Make the white potatoes another night with a different protein she does like and she can do the same that night - have mostly the food she does like and just a taste of the one thing she doesn't.

This is what my mom always did and we grew up knowing that we were not allowed to just say we didn't like a meal and get to have a whole other meal, but we also knew that if we truly didn't like something, we wouldnt be required to eat a normal portion of it either. This also taught us to discreetly and respectfully take a small portion of unfamiliar or non favorite foods when invited away for a meal, thus not being picky and rude towards the hostess. So many people I know now who were allowed to consistently have a different meal whenever they said they "didn't like something", are still super picky today, won't eat a meal unless it's just how they like it, won't eat at certain places because they can't find anything they like on the menu, etc.

It's awesome that Kate will try anything!! I wouldn't forced her to eat large amounts of foods she truly doesn't like. I can say from experience it doesn't help you learn to like them!! (my mom was a stickler for milk and insisted I had to drink one glass a day even though I HATED it and still do to this day!) but I do believe that teaching children to try a little is a good practice. Honestly one of my biggest annoyances is kids who are constantly allowed to decide they don't like what's being served and getting a different meal made for them. What happens when they're 10 and invited to a sleep over and the menu isn't the one of their choosing and they announce they don't like what's being served and can I have cereal or something else I instead?! I've heard kids do that... it isn't pretty.

Kari

There are a lot of meals Justin doesn't like because of texture issues, particularly meat, and I offer it as a side but don't require him to eat it. When I serve something I know he likes, I tell him that's dinner. If he hasn't touched it by the end of dinner, I clean up but offer a substantial snack an hour later (graham crackers w/peanut butter and a yogurt or applesauce) to see if he wants it.

If he isn't eating the same meal as me because I know it's something he doesn't like, I prepare something very easy: noodles, grilled cheese, pb&j, hot dog, or fish sticks. I'm not interested in preparing two entire meals anymore! And I always put some of what I made on his plate . . . just in case.

And I also offer something substantial for dessert if he doesn't touch his meal - fruit, yogurt, cereal bar, etc. In my house you don't have to clean your plate or even eat dinner to get dessert because I feel that encourages eating issues later. (Have to fight my dad on that one when he's over!) But we sure don't have ice cream on nights when no dinner was eaten.

old mama

With a huge family we have all kinds of eaters. I will cook up what I plan for the meal..now if I have some of the kids who don't like sauses and just want the meat plain. That is no problem to set them aside a piece of meat or their portion that I take out before I add an ingredient that they don't like. I will not cook them something different but if they want to make themselves a sandwich or get a bowl of cereal that is fine. I grew up in a household you ate everything sat in front of you and ALL that was set in front of you and I think it led to the obesity problem I have delt with my whole adult life. So I never make my kids eat anything they don't want. I will encourage them to try a bit of something new but don't force the issue.

Klt86

I was a VERY picky eater up until very recently. I still dislike a lot of things. My mom let me call the shots because I was realllly strong willed. Once she made rice and I said I didn't like it. She made me eat it. I threw up all over the kitchen floor haha. I still hate rice. She always made me kid food and like I said until recently I didn't like anything except things like pizza and mac and cheese. That said, I definitely don't think you would be heading in that direction by giving her another option if you KNOW she doesn't like something. I think it's a great idea to at least make her taste it. You know her well enough to know when she really doesn't like something and when she's trying to play you. I'm seriously hoping I remember all of this when Mika is older. I think youre doing it exactly right so that you aren't a push over but respect her likes and wants.

babymakes3

I tweak a lot of meals to adjust for c's eating. He usually has the same plate but the preparation is different. He eats raw veggies none stop but hates salad and dressing. So his plate is lil piles of veggies. We are vegans as of the last month, but I still give him a meat protein plus the bean protein we r eating. he hates soup,so if we are having it I do make him something different

Being in school,help because he is willing to try foods his friends like