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Teaching kids that they can't just walk into neighbors houses
roses25
Posts: 567
Aiden tried to walk right into my neighbor's house today (actually my boss's house) without ringing the doorbell. He's very attached to this neighbor and our houses are really close to each other. I've started having to carry him away from their house when it's time for us to go home with him kicking and screaming that he doesn't want to go (this stage of kicking and screaming when he doesn't want to leave is a new thing for us here).
We had just been at this neighbor's house as Aiden was visiting with them and playing with their dog. We had gone home and went outside to water our plants. Well Aiden ran straight over to their house and was trying their door before I got to him. Thankfully the door must have been locked because he couldn't get in. However, the neighbor heard him and came out. I told the neighbor I'm sorry and carried Aiden back to our house as he kicked and screamed.
I talked to Aiden about our house being the only house in our town that he can walk into without ringing the doorbell. We then talked about reasons we ring the doorbell such as their dog might bite them and it being rude to walk into somebody else's house. I'm hoping the dog thing will sink in because I tried a couple other reasons, but they didn't seem to sink in. I didn't want to scare him with the dog reason, and I don't think it did. I needed a reason at his level that would make sense. I tried telling him that they might be getting dressed or something, but that didn't sink in for him.
So do you think talk to him about this (ringing the doorbell and why) is enough for him to understand that we don't just walk into other houses or do you think I need to expand on this? We also talked about him needing to ask before he leaves the house and if mommy says no then he needs to stay home and if I say yes he can go, but should ring the doorbell, etc. He's really been pushing buttons lately as he's testing out the rules or something.
Carolyn
We had just been at this neighbor's house as Aiden was visiting with them and playing with their dog. We had gone home and went outside to water our plants. Well Aiden ran straight over to their house and was trying their door before I got to him. Thankfully the door must have been locked because he couldn't get in. However, the neighbor heard him and came out. I told the neighbor I'm sorry and carried Aiden back to our house as he kicked and screamed.
I talked to Aiden about our house being the only house in our town that he can walk into without ringing the doorbell. We then talked about reasons we ring the doorbell such as their dog might bite them and it being rude to walk into somebody else's house. I'm hoping the dog thing will sink in because I tried a couple other reasons, but they didn't seem to sink in. I didn't want to scare him with the dog reason, and I don't think it did. I needed a reason at his level that would make sense. I tried telling him that they might be getting dressed or something, but that didn't sink in for him.
So do you think talk to him about this (ringing the doorbell and why) is enough for him to understand that we don't just walk into other houses or do you think I need to expand on this? We also talked about him needing to ask before he leaves the house and if mommy says no then he needs to stay home and if I say yes he can go, but should ring the doorbell, etc. He's really been pushing buttons lately as he's testing out the rules or something.
Carolyn
0
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In the case of Aiden though, the first thing I'd do is skip the explanation. There's nothing wrong with giving him info but at this age there's no decision to be made or consequences to weigh. He's simply not allowed to open doors other than at home. So by your saying a dog might bite, when he knows there's no dog, or knows the dog is friendly, in his mind that's carte blanche to open the door. I'd focus more on the rules. Mommy said no.
Shiloh's been testing a lot too. Nothing major. Just looking at me while not doing what I say to see what will happen. My usual threats of taking a break (time out) or leaving (do we need to sit in the car?) are not working that well because she doesn't see them negative. I feel silly battling wit and will with my 3 year old (soon to be 4!). So my best strategy is to control the situation before it occurs. Like with Aiden ... he can't open a door if he's not in front of it. So if you're holding his hand, or he's not in a position to get to the door alone, you don't have to deal with door-opening behavior.