Sleeping through the night techniques

em'smoms

So I want to hear it all- from CIO to anti-CIO. What finally worked for you to get your breastfed baby to sleep more at night!

We are making slow progress, but I am always wanting to hear more advice and things that worked for other babies. Al is 5 months and EBF.

Anyone want to share their experiences?

emn'sar

I will share our experience. The first thing is that teething sucks! It interferes with our efforts frequently. Because of this, we have decided to go with the flow more and be open to frequent changes w Avery's sleep.

5 mos: I was very sleep deprived. The more I nursed Avery, the more she woke up to nurse. Literally it was every hour some nights. So my wife started rocking her when she woke up. Away from me, in the living room. Avery was a little whiny an would cry for a few minutes but after about 3-4 nights, she generally got the point. The change was immediate. Less wakings. Mostly slept 9p to 7 or 8 am. She slept in the cosleeper next to Emily instead of me which also helped. This lasted about 6 weeks.

7mos: holy crap, here come the teeth. One right after another and coming in so sllllllow. We were in utter hell for 2 solid months. One good night followed by 4-5 bad nights. At this time tho we transitioned her to her crib, still in our room, but she had outgrown her cosleeper. She would wake several times per night and sometimes nursing was the only thing to get any of us some sleep. Emily slept on the pullout when sleep deprivation took its toll so that at least one of us would be rested. We tried several teething remedies. Motrin helped the most but saved it for the worst teething days/nights.

9 mos: clouds cleared a bit bc the first 4 teeth were in. The other ones are coming in too now, one after the other, but don't seem to affect her NEARLY as much. She still wakes 1 maybe 2 times a night. Intuitively I felt that she was ready to learn how to fall asleep on her own. She wasn't drifting off anymore when I would lay down to nurse her at night. That is how I had been putting her to sleep up until then. So I started nursing her for 20-30 min (after doing her bedtime routine) then unlatching her. She would get mad and whine, even cry a little. I shhh her and pat her and say things like "it's nite nite time...go to sleep...mommys here...such a good girl" you get the idea. The first night it took 40min, then 20min the next night, then 9min the third. I was 1000% shocked. Another thing that helped was introducing her stuffed duckie every time she went to bed and her blankie. Now she knows that this means time to go to sleep.

So now at almost 10months, we do dinner, jammies/diaper, quiet play, stories, then off to mommys bed, lay down and nurse w lovey and blankey. If she doesn't fall asleep easily while nursing, I unlatch her and shhh/pat her to sleep. Once she's asleep it's a breeze to transfer her to crib.

We were obsessing over her sleep SO much for so long trying to control it and change it. We ultimately decided it was driving us nuts and going with the flow and gaining more of an acceptance helped a lot. Avery is a terrible teether and has need taken a pacifier, and is EBF. We just had/have to make it thru this time until she sttn. It will happen eventually!

Sorry so long and probably so many typos. I'm writing this from my phone as usual. Good luck to the other sleep deprived momma's out there!

Shanny

I waited. And waited. And then I would get frustrated (much, much older) and swear I was night weaning her. And that was a disaster every time I tried until she was about 21 months. In that time we had many rough patches but what worked for us was co sleeping and nursing on demand. I'm sure we had nights where it turned in to every hour and I was in tears, but I honestly don't remember that now (and would love to actually just for the sweetness of that age being fresh in my mind). We also had some wonderful stretches in there but Kate didn't sleep through the night for a very very long time. I couldn't even tell you when because it was so slow and gradual and she was so old. All the jokes were made about "kindergarten" etc but she is a great sleeper now. Still co sleeps and neither of us is looking to change that any time soon. To say that it works well for us is a huge understatement but I get that it doesn't for everyone. I had to work 10+ hours a day starting when she was 6 weeks. My sanity depended on us getting the most sleep with the least amount of heart break. I could and did nurse in my sleep by the time she was just a few months old. I had my room set up so I rarely needed to get out of bed, except maybe to pee, lol.

I really liked what emn'sar had to say for 2 reasons - 1)taking a deep breath and going with the flow can help the situation right then and there. And realizing that what gets everyone the most sleep TONIGHT is what we'll do tonight. Tomorrow, we'll worry about tomorrow. And 2)when something wasn't working for them they found solutions that worked for them AND their baby. Letting a 5 month old (or 7 or 9) CIO didn't work for them but neither did the constant nursing so I love that they came up with alternatives that worked for all of them .

ETA: if it helps at all it is completely NORMAL for EBF babies NOT to sleep through the night as infants. It is a trade off and one that I was glad to make but if you do the research you will find that this IS the norm!

ncmomstobe

Alfie is EBF, although she has a bottle of breastmilk while I am at work. For us what worked was waiting a minute when she stirred to see if she was actually hungry and putting her in her own room. She is mostly sleeping through the night, although there are disruptions some nights. A lot of it depends on the kid.
When she was tiny, she coslept sometimes, and even then she did not wake more often to eat. Whenever she is in her bed, she tummy sleeps. This made a huge difference for her as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

K&H

Ha! I'm actively reading this and hoping for some tips. Es second birthday is on Saturday and she has yet to sleep through the night.

em'smoms

So I am totally fine with her waking to feed 2x, her bedtime. Is 7p and the goal is for her to get up between 6-7 for the day. She has been waking every 2-3hrs for the past 6 wks- just the last couple days doing a bit better and not feeding her unless truly hungry. Problem is starting around 3am she starts this super fussy light sleep- flailing rooting, I pat she falls asleep for 10 mins and happens again same if I nurse this goes on till after 5am then usually fully wakes and I try to get her back to sleep for a while. Early morning Has always been her fussy fidgetty time, could this still be leftovers colicky stuff? Anyone else experience this? When should it resolve?

She is only 4 mos adjusted so maybe immature intestines still? She does always poop within an hour of getting up. New med seems to help reflux alittle.

Klt86

Mika slept through the night from 7-7 from 2 and a half months to 4 months. Then she hit the 4 month sleep regression and it has been awful ever since. She wouldn't nap in her crib. She would scream and scream and I would give in because no one wants their baby to cry and I felt at that point she was too young to CIO. So into the swing she went for naps. And eventually wound up in my bed at night when she would wake up at 2am and refused to go back to sleep in her crib. (this was right before 6 months I think). She before this she was going to bed at 7 and waking for a bottle anywhere between 12-3:30. Then waking up for one at 6. Around 5 months she started waking more and more until she was up every couple hours, fighting nap, fighting bedtime. The breaking point was the fourth time that she fought bedtime for 4 hours straight! The next day(which was Sunday of this week) I decided she would be much happier if she was well rested. So I did some research, made a plan and stuck with it. I did a few things that I'll list in a minute then put her in her crib and shut the door. She cried hard for 45 minutes (which was awful and I felt so mean) I have a video monitor so I can see her and went in a few times to move her back to the middle of her crib. She fell asleep on her own after 45 minutes and slept for an hour and a half. She had never napped that long in her crib. Second nap I layed her down,walked out and expected the same deal. She didn't make a peep and went right to sleep. Bedtime- I was terrified. She was used to being in my bed but I decided it was all or nothing. She needed routine and I felt that sleeping with me was doing more harm than good. I put her down an hour earlier than usual. She fell right asleep and slept 7 hours straight, woke for a bottle, went down for 4 more hours, woke for another bottle then slept another hour and a half. Ever since Sunday she has gone down for every nap and bedtime with no fuss. She's sleeping longer than she was but she's still waking every 4-5 hours for a bottle but she's teething and not taking much milk durning the day. Here are the tips I found super helpful

-Make the room as dark as possible. (I made hillbilly black out shades by taping tinfoil to the windows until I could find some I like haha)
-loud white noise-we use a fan and a sleep sheep
-make sure she is well rested during the day. It truly helps them sleep longer at night.
-try to get her to fall asleep without any props like patting,nursing,rocking. They'll look for those same props when they wake in the night. Everyone wakes a bunch of times at night and once they learn how to put themselves to sleep they start doing it during night wakings.
-an earlier bedtime is sometimes better.
-ill attach a chart that made this so easy for me. It tells how much awake time the average baby can handle for their age along with how much night sleep, how many naps, how long of naps.
Something else I found interesting- most babies don't sleep through the night until they're on 3 solid meals a day with all 4 food groups. Usually they begin to sleep through the night between 9-12 months. I started Mika on baby yogurt Sunday and I truly think it helps fill her up. She's 7 months so she's older than Alayna though.

Here is the link for the chart-
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/mobilebasic?authkey=CPXE1bsO&pli=1&hl=en

charcoaleyes

I agree with emn'sar. We tried everything we were willing to do. We tried cio a little. We tried cio while laying in a crib and DH comforting. We tried getting him used to a crib by playing in it. We read the no-cry sleep solution three times and tried the tips. We read Dr. Sears. We talked to our dr, and this helped us do what worked.

What worked: changing our expectations.

When we just accepted that our baby was not a baby who was going to sleep through the night in a crib in his own room, and changed our ideas to make things work for our family is when we started to feel less stressed. Its hard b/c people judge you. But, we all need to sleep. We arranged things so we have basically a room of mattresses on the floor. I sleep on a futon mattress. The crib mattress is next to me and a twin size mattress where DH sleeps is next to that. Max is 15 months old today and still does not sleep through the night, but we have maximized everyone's sleep with this arrangement. We are even getting a king bed soon b/c we realize that even if we night wean, Max will end up in our bed. With the king bed, he is going to sleep on a mattress on the floor and join us in the middle of the night. This arrangement is not for everyone, but it is what works for us. Max hates waking up alone, he will go back to sleep if he opens his eyes briefly and sees a parent/caregiver there. If he doesn't see anyone he will cry.

It is also part of the trade-off of breastfeeding -- at my 1 year well visit I was told it was completely normal and expected that he was not sleeping through the night.

Hang in there. That time period of 5-7 months was pretty rough for us.

Shaeley Mae

I think there are some good ideas here, but I also think, as others have said, it kind of comes down to the child.
Lilianna started trying to sleep through the night at 4 months, but I fought to keep our midnight nursing date, and woke her up around 1am every night. Finally, at 5 months, I just gave up and let her sleep in peace. It was who she was, and wanted she wanted.
I hope you find a workable situation soon!!

NikkiDana

River is almost 9 months old, on formula and solids, and still wakes twice in the night for a bottle. We haven't started teething yet, and I'm terrified about it getting worse than this!

Kari

Okay, I totally suck at the bedtime routine, but I read a lot about what works, so here are two points that stuck out to me:

1) Don't put the baby to bed asleep. Nurse/feed and if they fall asleep, wake them as you're putting them into the crib. It teaches self-soothing, particularly when they're young. The milk makes them "drowsy milk drunk" and allows them to settle down easier, so waking them a bit won't wake them for the next hour.

2) When the baby wakes during the night to eat, gradually switch to just cuddling for a minute to see if s/he will go back to sleep without eating. Sometimes they're truly hungry, but as they get older they're just looking for soothing and help getting back to sleep. This will eventually help cut out the nighttime feedings.

When all else fails, have another baby. Justin woke every 3 hours until shortly after Juliet was born. Now he wakes maybe once during the night for a drink, but often not at all.

RW17

We did basically the Jay Gordon nightweaning thing. I sleep in the guest bedroom until 3am while my partner soothes the child. This got us from 5-10 wakeups a night down to about 2. I don't think we'll go to zero until he's weaned. Maybe not even then.