Do you stay in the room?

A&J

Just started wondering what other parents do--

We follow our nighttime routine and then it's to bed for Olivia, but we stay in the room until she is asleep. Ever since we switched her to her toddler bed (15 months) and now her twin bed (18 months) we always stay in the room. It takes bout 15-20 minutes for her to fall asleep once she gets into and lays down in bed.

So do you stay in the room? If not, what age did you start leaving them to fall asleep on their own? Do they stay in their bed?

Im just curious. Staying with O works for us for now. I'm just wondering at what age she may be able to be put into bed and fall asleep on her own.

Shanny

I always stayed with Kate. First because she was nursing to sleep and then because it was what became expected. Just before we weaned at age 3 I decided enough was enough (we were closer to 45 minutes - 1 hour and it was no longer working for me). It took 3 pretty rough nights and now she can go to bed by herself. Worth it at the time but I don't think either of us was ready before then.

michgirl

I have never stayed in the room with them so it is all they know. I put them in bed and they stay there. Once in a while one of them will come out of their room but if I tell them to go back to bed they do ( they might cry but they do go back).

sara291

I never stayed. A few random nights if something was up but it would not be something I personally do. Since I never stayed I don't think the boys ever expected me too. As babies I always put Z to bed sleepy but awake & R was a whole other crazy story. Both boys stayed in a crib as long as possible though. Z had to move to a toddler bed at 26-months & he would have a hard time staying in bed. At 18-months he may have done fine but not at 2. R at 29-months still is in one. Yay!!! I would not want me staying in the room something they are dependent on. Right now at two I can see R sometimes falling asleep but I'm pretty sure me staying could also encourage them to stay up in many ways. I stopped nursing R at 17-months so he often fell asleep during that though.
The reason I'm not in a rush on cribs is I don't see any harm in them & if they can sleep better then they will stay there. Z did not stay in his bed. He often got up & played. I'm pretty sure R would as well. We have to use a playpen at work & he can get out of it. I was excited for a big boy bed but all too often have heard of things going great before 2ish. I highly doubt R would have the attention span to stay in bed. It was a huge battle with Z & just not worth it. At 2 & now 4 they can't be put to bed at the same time or they will just play.

K&H

H still stays with E at 2. We're finally home now and will be setting up new expectations for bedtime. I think we're going to move toward her sleeping independently.

EMG_REL

After pajamas, a book, and a nighttime song, we leave. We've never stayed, and he's been putting himself to sleep in his room since he was three months old. I guess everyone's routines are different!

mommylove

We dont stay in the room anymore, we stopped that around 14 months. We do bathtime, read books, sing songs, snuggle for a minute, and then leave him to fall asleep on his own.

Zen

For the longest time Shiloh fell asleep in a swing and then I moved her to the crib for the night. But if she woke up, she needed the swing to fall back to sleep. If she woke more than 3 times, I'd give up and leave her in the swing. At 18 months we broke that cycle and since then she goes to sleep on her own. Most of the time. At almost 4 she sometimes wants to sleep in my bed. But for the most part after bedtime routine, she falls asleep in her bed alone!

mel

I've never stayed at bedtime. I'd feel like I was being held hostage and I couldn't handle them dragging it out when I really need that time to myself, to take care of the house, and sometimes to work.

The summer that they were 2 and trying to give up naps, I did stay at naptime but that was because I was so desperate for them to nap so I could, too! They were in Seren's "get out of bed and tear up the room" stage and I couldn't handle the destruction, so I napped on the floor between their cribs.

Ibelieve

Mel you sound just like me. At bed time he goes to sleep on his own but at nap time I gauge his mood and at least 75% of the time I sit with him till he goes to sleep. ( which is rarely more than 10 to 15 minutes. ) I need his nap time to get stuff done and for me to recharge lol.

tc0104

We lay with Laney in her bed until she falls asleep, if she wakes up in the night she also destroys her room. We need to stop laying with her bc my belly is getting too big for both of us in her bed and it needs to change and establish another method of falling asleep before the boys arrive. Those of you that just leave are my heroes!

A&J

I guess I'm now curious about how you were able to leave and keep them in their beds. For those that are still using cribs I get that you can just walk out. However, once they are in a bed it's an entirely different situation, at least for me.

So, did your child just always quietly lay there and fall asleep-- in their bed, or did you do something specific to get them to lay down and go to sleep in their bed? At what age did this happen? Also,I know we switched Olivia somewhat early to a bed. This was because she had the worst time in her crib, but would always sleep well and peacefully in a bed. So, she has her own bed and sleeps here ( after we lay with or sit with her for a bit). I'm just thinking toward the future and wondering how we will get her to stay in her bed and go to sleep without one of us.

friendamy

Ive never stayed until he fell asleep - once he stopped falling asleep on the boob (around 2-3 months?) he put himself to sleep. we have a long-ish nighttime routine, so he gets plenty of mommy time!

I've only ever stayed till he fell asleep if he was sick or had a bad dream - but that's middle of the night and doesn't take more than 5-10 mins... and that's very rare.

getting him to sleep on his own was, in my opinion, the best thing I did! LOL at 5, he'll "read" his book or talk to his stuffed animals for 15-20 after we say goodnight.

palegreen

We've created a monster. We have to stay in the room until G is asleep or he FREAKS out. I have finally gotten to the point where I don't always have to be touching him while he falls asleep, but I have to remain standing next to the crib ready to rest my hand on his back to let him know I'm still there if he starts to sit back up. We definitely struggle with bedtime some nights.

Shaeley Mae

I've never stayed until Lilianna fell asleep.
I put her in bed. We do hugs and kisses. We do a brief rundown of what the morning will bring (we talk about what's for breakfast and what we're going to do that day). I turn on her white noise, turn of the light, put up the baby gate, and I'm gone.
She typically stays in her bed, but if not, the gate is in her doorway to help keep her contained to her room. It helps her to learn her boundaries at bedtime, it allows me to avoid micro-managing bedtime, and it allows me to sleep better at night because I don't have to wonder if she woke up in the middle of the night and is wandering around the house. Now that she's approaching 3 years old, I figure that she's getting old enough to understand the bedtime rules, and stay put. I've experimented with leaving the gate down, but she actually asks for it to be up most nights. I think it might be a security thing .....?
Anyhow, that's what has worked for us. I've always wanted my kids to be indpendent sleepers and easy risers, so it's never really even occurred to me to stay in her room until she falls asleep. And heck, Kierren doesn't even like to be rocked. When he's tired he wants to be on his tummy, with a pacifier, and covered with a blanket. He doesn't even like to be patted on the back. He does like to hold my hand though when we're co-sleeping.

mel

You have your answer - she's not staying in bed because she is so young. I didn't move mine from cribs until they were old enough to understand reason and logic. They stay in bed because we tell them their bodies need rest and that they need to sleep so they will have the energy to play and learn the next day. They do get up sometimes to get a forgotten toy or to potty, but mostly they stay in bed.

cocobay

We don't stay in his room.

Our routine is brush teeth and bath at 7:30, pajamas, brush hair, drink of water, bedtime story, then he can sit with Mommy or Momma (which ever he prefer) for a few minutes, he usually plays with out hair which makes him sleepy, and then we lay him in his crib and cover him up and say good night. He rolls over and goes to sleep. He has done this for several months now. I'm not sure how it's going to work when we transition to a toddler bed and he can actually crawl out, but hopefully it will stay the same for the most part.