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VENT: about baby in hospital

kittykitty Posts: 146 ✭
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
My Nephew (my husbands brothers son) and his girlfriend are around 21 or 22 years old. They gave birth 1 month ago. Baby was born with a clef. They were aware of the posssibility of it. Before giving birth they would post photos on FB now and again not lots of her being pregnant and they threw themselves a large baby shower (ie over 100 people).

Fastfoward: Baby was born and yes a clef. We happened to be at the hospital when she gave birth but baby was taken to NICU so we didn't see her. We wished them well. Then for days later awaited announcment nothing... Yet after the babyshower they posted tons of photos.

Well on facebook you see them post they are at the beach etc.. It bothers me that they have a new born who mind you is FULL TERM just has clef that they don't go to the hospital often.
She is not working and he works... they go to the hospital around 6pm and do 1 or 2 feeding and go home.
I just don't see how you can leave your full term baby at the hospital full time while you don't work and sit at home.
Take yesterday for example, Saturday. We had a family funeral in the morning to lunch time. Dinner time we had a party at my Father in laws for his 81 birthday. They didn't go to the hospital at all. Earlier in the day I asked when does she come home and the girl said we just need to learn the equipment (coming home on g tube) OK...(in my mind I am screaming) why aren't you at the hospital learning this **** so you can bring baby home.

We were at my father in laws until 1 in the morning. Is now noon Sunday, I just get a phone call we going beach want to come? So when are you going to learn this equipment again?

So my husband being drunk last night tells him about visiting the baby and he got so iriate.

Sorry I had to vent because I just don't see this as normal.

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    KariKari Posts: 1,765
    edited November -1
    They may be in shock and denial. By visiting the hospital, they have to come to grips with the road ahead of them that they have to deal with. I hope this phase passes quickly and they become affectionate, loving parents to this precious child. So sad for that child. :(
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    There is a lot to learn about taking care of a baby with a cleft. It also can be very shocking to see and deal with. I agree that they seem to be in denial over the situation. If they want their baby home anytime soon they better get themselves there. Medical staff won't let that baby go home until they know the parents can handle it. Social Services might even get involved...I have had a child with a cleft and unfortunately there might be several hospitalizations to correct the problem and those babies are hard to feed and care for. I hope they will get it together.
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    ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    They sound like they're not ready to deal with parenting a medically fragile baby. On the plus side, I'm sure the baby is receiving excellent care in the hospital. I can only hope the mom and dad come around. I do understand your frustration!
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    kittykitty Posts: 146 ✭
    edited November -1
    Well they are doing there sleeping at the hospital tonight if all goes well baby comes home tomorrow...
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