Help- wait or try?

preciousgift

Ok.. well.

Here is my dilemma. I was not able to try this month of October due to known donor not being available at the last minute, and a weird cycle too.

So, if I try in November, I would have a baby in August.

The problem... I work as a manager of a very small motel (small in number of rooms). I am the sole employee. I also live on site (which is the ONLY reason I am still working there). You would be shocked if you knew how little money it pays... But, the reason I stay is in the event (when ) I get preggers, I will be able to keep baby with me all the time, since I work and live in the same place.

BUT- If I have a baby in August (saying I get a BFP in November), it will be peak tourist season. I also have to clean the rooms myself, which is a lot of work for one person. That would mean I would be about 6th months preggers in May, 7 months in June, 8 months in July, and give birth in August.

Again, it is hard enough to due all the physical aspects of cleaning the rooms by myself in the hot summer. But, I can't imagine how it would be to do when very pregnant...?

I am 39- will be 40 pretty soon.

QUESTION- Should I try in November anyway? (I will be using frozen swimmers)... or should I wait to try till January or February...?

If I was in my twenties... I would wait. But, I feel like every month is crucial at my age

Oh.. I will be doing a home IUI (with cath in the uterus).

Also, not sure if owner would fire me if I was preggers?

HELP... what would you do?

Bohemian

personally i wouldnt wait and i am in my 20s. i want to go back to school, just an online class or two to start, and im not trying till december making me due in september (right around the start of the school year). and either way youre still gonna be preggo during the busy season just not as preggo. is it not illegal to fire someone due to pregnancy where you live? im pretty sure thats discrimination but i could be wrong. do whats in your heart. if you really dont want to wait then dont wait, theres nothing that says itll even work as we all know and if it does will you really care about busy season or just doing what it takes to take care of you and baby? im probably not much help but this is just my opinion.

K&H

Honestly? I think I would wait a month and not try til Dec. H was pregnant in the summer, due Aug 18th. E was born Aug 11th, and while she worked right up until the day she went into labor, after E was born everything ground to a halt for six weeks. Completely. Nothing got done. She had a long labor and c-section and could not do much for at least three weeks, then slowly got back up to returning to work at 6 weeks. After the 6 weeks she was fine and went back to work no problem, but it definitely took time. Do you have a maternity leave policy/plan? Would someone replace you for that time, or would you be expected to return to work immediately? I would make sure that you have a water tight plan in place, whether that means potentially going out on medical disability or leave, or whatever it would be. If something was to happen, say in June and the boss needed to hire someone else for the summer busy season, what would that mean for your housing? It might be a conversation to have with your boss if you feel that you are respected and valued and the boss would want to keep you.. If the boss is likely to hear your plans and find any legal reason to replace you.. well, then you really want to have a back up plan in place just in case you do lose your job/housing over this.
There are many jobs that offer housing with them if you want to keep them in mind. They might just be better deals as well. (Live in Nanny comes to mind, or live in housekeeper, since you are already used to cleaning, live in house manager.. all these you could potentially do with your baby, for the right family)

Good luck!

Jen727BF

Precious -- I wouldn't wait a month for this place. I wouldn't be surprised if they let you go due to the pregnancy (of course they will mask it with something else). I agree that you could try and find a different job to offer you what you want. Just my 2 cents.

Flowergirl

While I completely understand where K&H is coming from, and under different circumstances I would probably agree, due to the experiences you have posted in the past about this job/living situation makes me say no, I would absolutely not sit out a month "just because of this job". In the past, it has sounded very unstable, and with a 20% chance (or less) of conceiving each month, I certainly wouldn't waste a month solely for a job that might very well end at any time due to any other random reason. And really, in my experience anyway, there's so much more about pregnancy to consider than just the "delivery". There's the possibility of debilitating morning sickness, complications requiring modified duties or even bed rest at any time during, issues later in pregnancy that may require being done with work for awhile before delivery, and then as already mentioned, the delivery, which could require a c-section, etc.

Just my opinion... I wouldn't wait due to possibilities (ESP such shaky ones) in the future. Life can change in a moment's time and no matter how much we plan, sometimes life just happens and in the end, it all works out!

MelandTara01

I wouldn't wait either. There are other jobs out there that do offer live in amenities. Like K&H said, nanny, home care giver or house cleaner. Also is there other motels/hotels in your area that you could possibly switch jobs to? It seems like this job is asking too much for one person, and as you mentioned the pay is not a lot. Just ask yourself "Is my time worth more than what I'm being paid?" I would leave the job regardless of the pregnancy, seems like they are taking advantage of you. At the end of the day it's a baby that you want not this job. Keep that in mind. Try to weigh out your pro's and con's. I'm sure you will have more Pro's for moving forward with your wish to get pregnant. Good luck...I hope I helped!

solejean

A hard decision for sure. Personally as a 40 year old I would try every month if I had the money to. I think at 39 you don't want to waste any time. I'm sure one month isn't that big of a deal, but I hate to skip a month. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

preciousgift

(Warning.. this is a long one:) )

Thanks everyone for your opinions so far.

The owner of this motel said for three weeks he would come down to mow the grass, and never did. So, I hired someone to cut it b/c it was obviously not looking nice. Well.. he did that a second time, and I mentioned to his employee, who I have become friends with, at his other motel a few hours away, that I was going to have someone cut the grass again, b/c it had been a few weeks. She told me, that he said to her that if I had someone cut the grass, he would FIRE ME! That is the type of person I am dealing with.

The pay is VERY low... but again, my plan was to have a baby hopefully in the fall ( I really wanted to be giving birth THIS month of October). The offseason is very laid back and I have a lot of "free" time as long as I am here most of the time. I rent the rooms mostly weekly and they do their own room cleaning. So, that would be SO ideal if I had a baby in my arms right now.. I would have about 7 1/2 months of really low key responsibilities,, and have all that time to spend with baby... That is THE ONLY reason I stay here.

I don't know if I would do housekeeping (like a live in housekeeper) for someone b/c I actually HATE that part of my job. I am very meticulous about it, but I really dread it.

Flowergirl- I have thought about all that you mentioned also. And, that is a concern.

I am keeping my eyes out for other positions. I have worked in the hotel business for the last 6 years. I don't necessarily want to stay in that industry anymore. I would like a more 9-5 job where I actually had time off!

Even though I am typing this now, I can't really go anywhere b/c I am waiting for a guest who will be renting a room for a week. They may show up in a few minutes.. maybe it won't be till 10 hours later.... so that kind of throws off my whole day.

That is why I am able to be online so much....

Thanks for all of your opinions so far... welcome any and all other comments. This is kind of hard for me to decide b/c I had my images of having lots of time for baby in the off season, and I feel like I get another job where I don't live on site, then baby will be in daycare all the time....

But, I am also wondering if the stress of working here, and dealing with a problem owner, is perhaps hampering my chances of getting pregnant?