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ADHD, Asberger's, or Anxiety?

KariKari Posts: 1,765
edited November 2012 in Parenting and Life
I had Justin's fine motor skills evaluated and while he was kind of low and had a mild tremor in his hands, the evaluator thought it would be fine if he just works at it. Behaviorally she noted a few things from her observation that I also corroborated on the phone with her: low frustration tolerance, difficulty completing a task when he wants to start another (like finish pulling on his pants if he sees a toy he wants), aggressive behavior when excited, and babbling in baby talk when stimulated. But she thought he was fine and I should give them a call if, over time, I notice any sensory issues.

Fast-forward about eight hours. We're home on Halloween and Justin is sitting quietly at the table eating dinner. My dad shows up and Justin loses all interest in eating and is running around the house. He starts to calm down about 10 minutes later when his buddy from daycare shows up to trick-or-treat with his dad and grandma. Justin goes into a tailspin and spends the next ten minutes running around the room, yelling, talking in his made-up baby babble, tossing a ball repeatedly in this boy's face, squawking, etc. The grandma and I talk frequently and she knew I'd had him evaluated recently. I looked at her and said, exasperated, he passed with flying colors.

This morning she waited for me at the daycare and said I absolutely should have him tested by someone else because his behavior was very similar to her son, who has anxiety and difficulty in social situations. I talked to the school nurse, and her son also has anxiety and the behaviors seemed awfully similar. My sister thinks he has ADHD, but she only sees the hyper side of him because he gets really spastic when we visit them, but he's calm and can sit down and work at a puzzle or game quietly and with concentration for 10-20 minutes frequently throughout the day. At the end of daycare the grandma also suggested the possibility of Asberger's.

I was kind of glad my dad witnessed the whole thing because he's been saying to me that Justin is spoiled or manipulative, but after last night he started asking questions like how frequently and to this intensity has this happened in the past, and is this what I've seen when I've made vague comments about having a difficult time at library hour or the supermarket, and why I turn down invitations to go out to dinner.

Any thoughts on the way to tell the difference between the three? Does a checklist of behavior comparison points exist? If anyone else went through a diagnosis process with their kids, was there an "a-ha" moment when you knew you were on the right path?
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    ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    My first question is does Justin behave differently in different settings or with different people? I ask because Shiloh behaves differently for me than for her preschool teachers! Also, does his behavior change at different times of day (like when tired or time for a nap)? Again, when Shiloh is overtired she gets this burst of energy that has her bouncing off the walls ... just before she passes out. It's possible that Justin may have some issues that you'll have to address ... but what I read sounds like normal 3 year old. You would know better though since you're with him 24/7.
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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Unfortunately, there is no checklist that will help you figure this one out. I recommend starting with your pediatrician and getting a referral for more evaluation. He'll need to be seen by a psychologist. You can PM me with questions if you want.

    It's hard to be at the beginning of trying to figure this out, it seems there are so many potential difficult scenarios. But, no matter what, he is still Justin.
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682
    edited November -1
    My son is 7 and he exibits those same behaviors at home especially if someone comes here...but in school he is the exact opposite he is just starting to talk in school and if anything is underactive for a 7 yr. old. He is full of anxities and fears. He has an IEP at school not because he is intellectually challenged in anyway but socially and emotionally immature...some of his goals focus on just talking to students and teachers but his mouth goes 100mph at home...I don't know what to tell you but if you are uncomfortable with his first evaluation I would suggest waiting a few more months, watching him and if the behaviors continue to look to have another evaluation completed with someone different.
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    TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481 ✭✭
    edited November 2012
    My son was diagnosed as ADHD at age 7. Also, I have been told by several DRs that it absolutely cannot be diagnosed before age 7 because it is normal for 2,3,4,5 and even 6 yr olds to "bounce off the walls" and have short attention spans. My son could sit and play quietly but things never held his attention for very long and I would have to make sure he was looking directly at me when I told him to do something or go get something and then would have him repeat back to me what I just said so I knew he was paying attention to me. Once he started school he had a very hard time staying focused and concentrating. I started homeschooling him once he got in Middle School because he had too much trouble focusing in school. He would pass all the state mandated tests with flying colors but got bad grades because he had so much trouble finishing work in school. Since he has been homeschooled he has gotten straight A's and was even taking HS classes when he was in Middle School. Zach also has anxiety issues. Another thing, about the tremors in his hands. Did you ever notice those before? I'm asking because Zach was diagnosed with benign essential tremors in his hands when he was 4. I noticed from the time he started feeding himself that his hands would tremble when he was trying to use fine motor skills. They do not go away. His hands tire easily sometimes and hurt at times if he is doing too much. He has a 504 plan because of this and because of the ADHD.
    I don't know anything about aspergers.
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    roses25roses25 Posts: 567
    edited November -1
    I would hold off on considering ADHD at this point. He's just too young. Go observe other kids around his age to see how he compares to them in the same setting.

    When we have company over Aiden shows off and competes for my attention. He suddenly begins climbing on the couch, jumping off the couch, jumping off the coffee table, etc. Could he have ADHD? Yes, he certainly has more of a risk based on family history, but he can be calm and focused and is most of the time.
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    fischfisch Posts: 570 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I would not hold off. If I felt concerned at all I would find out more, get 2nd and 3rd opinions. I oversee a large preschool program and see many children get all the way to kinder without the help, diagnosis, etc. that they need. I think you are feeling something in your gut, and see some red flags. Why would you sit on that? From what you described, the behaviors do sound extreme. Maybe it's just personality, and age, but there is nothing wrong with acting on your instinct and seeking second opinions.
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    ShannyShanny Posts: 2,456
    edited November -1
    I agree with Fisch and would go with your gut. He may not be able to be diagnosed with ADHD at this point just based on his age but it doesn't mean he couldn't be diagnosed and start receiving help for something else. I hope you get some answers.
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    Ronna71Ronna71 Posts: 144
    edited November -1
    From my perspective, a parent of someone with Aspergers (first diagnosed with ADHD, however): get that evaluation.

    That is exactly how my child behaved at that age. By age five, he could silently read for 2 hours. He could watch a Disney movie from start to finish at 3. Certain things captured his attention, but often times he was wildly out of control. He hardly spoke at all until about 3.5 to 4, except to me, and even then, it was like he was being tortured. However, he did have an advanced vocabulary - it was just difficult for him to "converse". He was an aggressive child, as well, and had an extremely low frustration tolerance. Although there are marked similairities between ADHD, Aspergers (and even giftedness), it is the intensity of the individuals issues that often differentiate between them - but the lines are blurry even to experts.

    Having an evaluation helps - it helps moms keep a disability perspective when dealing with their children. For instance, a child with diabetes would not be disciplined for their failure to adequately control their blood sugar, neither should a child with ADHD or Aspergers be disciplined for behaviors outside of their control. Talked to after a calming period has passed? Yes. Given help and tools to help them deal with frustration in the future? Yes.

    Anyway, I digress. Yes, please respect your gut feelings and have him fully evaluated. The earlier that interventions are started, the more effective they will be.

    Good luck!
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    babybabybabybaby Posts: 1,564
    edited November -1
    okay, well just read PPs and it seems like people who have more experience with asperger's feel you should have him tested, in which case you probably should. good luck, kari. :)
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    LbakerLbaker Posts: 234
    edited November -1
    I'm going to weigh in, but from the perspective of an educator. DW and I are expecting our first child in a few weeks, but I have experience working with preschool and kindergarten students. I am not trying to offend anyone, just trying to give a different point of view.

    The Autism spectrum is HUGE, and each child who is diagnosed is very different. I am a kindergarten teacher, and I have taught many autistic students. Aspberger's is a high functioning form of autism. Even children who have Aspberger's are not all alike. Some have communication issues, some do not. Some have academic issues, some do not. Some have social anxiety, some do not. It depends on the individual child. As a teacher, I also see TONS of kids come in, at 5, already labeled as ADHD. As a previous poster noted, Autism is often falsely diagnosed as ADHD early on. For me, I would want the evaluation as early as possible because I know how difficult it is to get services once children are enrolled in kindergarten. Even with a diagnosis from a doctor, it can take months, if not an entire school year, to get through the process of aquiring services. Not that you will necessarily need them, but that is something that I would consider. The same goes for Occupational Therapy (for fine motor issues) and even Speech. If they don't come to kindergarten already receiving these services, they have to go through the entire referral process to get them, at least in my county. This means at least 6 months of classroom level interventions and testing before they ever see a school psychologist.
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    KariKari Posts: 1,765
    edited November -1
    Thanks for all the opinions and advice. I'm a teacher, so I know the diagnosis process can be long in schools, and I'd love to have some guidance as to how to deal with issues now vs. wait a few years. For instance, if he truly has some processing issue, it really isn't fair to discipline him the same way as I would a child who doesn't have processing issues. I went through several online websites last night, and skimmed the first four chapters of a book a co-worker put in my mailbox this morning on Oppositional Defiance Disorder. From what I'm reading, I don't think Asperger's or ODD are hitting the nail on the head, but maybe social anxiety is a piece to it. And maybe he's just being a wild'n'crazy 3 year old since some of you are describing kids jumping off the walls and being needy when you're around other adults. I'm curious that this all seemed to start a few months after Juliet was born. I think that's a piece to it.

    When I pick him up from daycare, he's out on the playground. If I go into the classroom to get Juliet first, he starts sobbing outside to the point that they bring him in to me. I'm cautious to not take him into the baby room because he gets all worked up at the toys he doesn't usually see and can be too rough with the babies and not want to leave when I've got Juliet packed up. I asked him why he gets so upset, and it's because he fears that I'll get her and forget him. So I worked out a deal with him that I'll stop by the playground to check in with him, give him a hug and kiss, remind him that I'll get him in a few minutes, and then I go inside and get Juliet. Most of the time he's fine with this. About once a week he either begs to come with me or threatens to hurt another child if he doesn't get his way. (When he does this, I put him in the car and leave him in his car seat while I get Juliet, because he has followed through on his threat and pushed other kids.)

    I was also asked to no longer come through the toddler room to drop off Juliet in the baby room because it sets Justin off. That's the usual route all the babies' parents take because the only other way to the room is through the staff kitchen/break room and we're not supposed to go that way. But Justin gets too upset when I take her in or pick her up and have to leave him in the toddler room. So now I drop him off at the door, then go through the kitchen to drop Juliet off. His daycare provider chalks his behavior up to jealousy, but again, I don't know.

    I called the kids' pediatrician today and asked for a referral to a homeopathic P.A. who treats kids with autism spectrum disorders, allergies, ADHD/ADD, sensory processing issues, developmental delays, anxiety and depression, etc. A former co-worker's almost 4-year old is being treated by her for sensory issues and separation anxiety and is doing so much better right now. Plus, I like the idea of seeing a homeopathic doctor vs. someone who might recommend taking medication after medication until something clicks.
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    annerbonesannerbones Posts: 1,812
    edited November -1
    Early Intervention would be key here - have him screened and assessed. With those results you can get guidance from people who specialize in Early Interventions with children who have needs like his. They will help you and Justin figure out what works for you guys.

    Have you contacted anyone to assess him? The school district should be able to help with screening him - it is simple and when they are doing it they are playing and chatting - I am amazed how much information they get through their assessments. It is likely that the first screening they will dois the ASQ Ages and Stages Questionnaire - it you google Oregon ASQ you can do the screening at home with him and see if there are any areas that he is having trouble with. Answer it honestly and try to remove your Mommy goggles - hard because we all want our children to be absolutely perfect but if you answer the questions honestly you might have a preview of what the assessors will do with him and the data they will collect. Assessment through the school district is free.

    I am a big proponent of Head Start and if Justin is diagnosed with one of these or many other challenges he could very well qualify for services.

    I would get him tested then go the route that makes the most sense.
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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Know your state here, most Early Intervention won't evaluate 3 year olds. The school district would likely be in charge. You can ask them to do the evaluation, but talk to his teachers, because if they don't see the same things you won't get far with a school evaluation.
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    annerbonesannerbones Posts: 1,812
    edited November -1
    http://www.maine.gov/education/speced/cds/

    Maine (I think Kari is from Maine) begins evaluating at 3.

    Child Development Services



    The Child Development Services (CDS) system is an Intermediate Educational Unit that provides both Early Intervention (birth - two years) and Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE for ages three - five years) under the supervision of the Maine Department of Education. The CDS system ensures the provisions of Special Education Rules - Federal and State Regulations statewide through a contractual or grant relationship between the Department of Education and each regional site.

    Provides case management and direct instruction for children birth through age five and their families.
    Conducts ChildFind (the process of identifying children with disabilities) screenings and evaluations for children birth through age five.
    Identifies eligible children through Part C or Part B and secure local service access for services.
    Provides Early Intervention and Special Education programming in the following areas:

    Physical Gross/Fine motor skills
    Cognitive
    Communication (Speech and Language)
    Social/Emotional
    Adaptive

    CDS consists of nine regional sites, a State Office and a State Level Advisory Committee, comprised of one member from each regional site. Each CDS site is an Intermediate Educational Unit (IEU) with a Board of Directors, separate from the local public school. The State CDS Office maintains a central data management system, system-wide policies and procedures, and provides centralized fiscal services for the local sites.

    Early Intervention Public Data

    MUSER Statutory Changes and Revised Procedural Safeguards

    **Under IDEA - it should be covered.**
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    KariKari Posts: 1,765
    edited November -1
    CDS did do the evaluation earlier this week, but they didn't really have a score card for the social/emotional piece. The score sheet they used had six language development, one literacy, two physical health, one math, and one science question. If anyone's curious, these are the specific tasks:

    Orally gives first, last, middle names and age (he got his first name right)
    Points to red, blue, green, yellow, and orange
    Names pictures of boat, kite, wagon, ladder, scissors, leaf
    Knows use of book, scissors, refrigerator
    Copies horizontal and vertical lines, circle, and cross (he got credit for the first three, but the circle looked like a U)
    Balances on each foot for five seconds, walks forward heel-and-toe four steps
    Demonstrates number concepts by giving 2, 3, and 5 objects to tester
    Builds tower with 6-10 blocks (higher score if you use all 10 blocks)
    Identifies chest, back, knees, chin, fingernails, heels (got chest and heels wrong)
    Repeats sentences with 4 syllables, 6 syllables, and 8 syllables
    Uses prepositions and irregular plural nouns (he got half right on the second part)

    That gets tallied into a possible 100 points.

    Then they observe right/left/uncertain handedness (he got uncertain, but he's definitely right-handed)
    Grasps pencil with fist or fingers (fist)
    Hearing appears normal (no test given)
    Vision appears normal (no test given)
    Record other observations (tremor in hand noted when doing fine motor activities)

    They provide a checklist summary:
    this child scored lower/average/higher
    this child's age is lower/average/higher
    the teacher rates this child lower/average/higher
    the examiner rates this child lower/average/higher

    They do a write-up of what they observe behaviorally, but there's no way of quantifying it. For example, it says they noticed frustration, whining, redirection, inability to focus on the activity at hand (focusing on upcoming activity instead), anxiousness, impulsive behaviors, pushing, etc. The evaluator said to me on the phone that she thought some of the behaviors are because he's in a classroom of four kids and he's the oldest by 6 months (by more than a year for another) and he might be bored. Like today one activity was practicing getting in and out of snowpants, which he's been doing for a year now. So he didn't have to participate, but he also wasn't included in the activity. He'll be able to move up to the preschool room when he's potty trained. Today is day #3 in underpants with dry days (at daycare at least; he had one accident at home during the Halloween trick-or-treating fiasco).

    Today I purposefully gave him several different foods with food coloring for lunch, and skipped his favorite breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes. He had a good 10-15 minute meltdown over getting dressed and brushing his teeth. Then we had an AWESOME evening. My dad did not come over (sometimes this sets Justin off, even though he comes over 3-4 times a week). I'm going to start journaling to see if there's a correlation with either foods or visits that makes him spiral. Tomorrow is my birthday, a party, lunch at my sister's, MSG-loaded Chinese food, cake . . . wish us luck!!
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    annerbonesannerbones Posts: 1,812
    edited November -1
    So out of 100 what was his score, did they give any recommendations?

    It is entirely possible that moving to preschool will help tremendously. If he has already conquered all the goals in the toddler room he probably does need the challenge of new goals. Is your daycare willing to move him up soon - or does he have to be potty trained for a certain amount of time before the transition?
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    blkbrd3blkbrd3 Posts: 1,221 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Charting behavior, events (social activities and otherwise), challenging behavior, time of day, and food is a really good idea. I'd also chart his sleeping habits too.

    Once you've compiled a good amount of data take it to your preferred health care provider. Don't stop documenting just because the evaluation process is underway.

    Good luck to your family during this challenging time.
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    EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I think journaling is a great idea. It's sort of a weird correlation, but think about how journaling and charting were important to tracking your cycle to get pregnant. You're able to look back on things and view them objectively. Good luck. I'm sure you're frustrated, at least to some degree, and I hope your answer comes soon.
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    indigoscotindigoscot Posts: 246
    edited November -1
    i agree with those who said to follow through for a diagnosis/assistance right now. ds1 is in kindergarten and has had an IEP since he just turned 4. he had some serious behavioural issues that were triggered by a truly horrible daycare "teacher" and daycare upper management. we are so glad we followed through and got that because now that he's in kindergarten he still has the IEP. ds1 has emotional/social issues with kids his own age - he'll push them instead of asking if he can play.

    if we hadn't already had the IEP we'd have been starting from scratch and as i'm sure you know it's easy for children to get lost in the mix if the teacher thinks they are just troublemakers.

    to all the parents on here - advocating for your child is hard, hard work. we've had several meetings with ds1's teacher/school special ed/psychologist as we discuss what's best for him. his teacher FINALLY realized he was playing her and since then his behaviour has improved markedly...we've been telling her since the first meeting that he's exceptionally smart but because he acts like he's not in class she just thought we were another set of those parents who think their child is gifted.

    kari, good luck. :)

    g
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    becca93becca93 Posts: 20
    edited November 2012
    Our Aspie was diagnosed at 3 by a private psychologist. He was always the odd duck out--he behaved differently than friends' sons of the same age. Fussy baby, obsessive focus on one topic, little ability to engage in two-way conversation, no eye contact, flapping of arms when excited, little interest in socializing (not even parallel play, which is what you'd expect from a toddler).

    I don't think it's unusual these days to ask for evaluations, especially with a first-born boy. I'm looking at the questions you got in your eval, and our DS would have aced that test. He wasn't developmentally behind at all. It was a hundred little things that added up to "something's off."

    Earlier is best. Early intervention, intensive ABA, speech therapy, etc. are key to getting a kid on the spectrum ready for mainstream education, which is where I, at least, think high-functioning autistic kids belong. If it's a food allergy or some other trigger that you can identify and modify, earlier is still better!

    Oh, and I should probably add--because we had an Aspergers child already, we watched our last DS like psychotic hawks. We worried a lot, especially because his emotional reactions tended to be out of proportion and he flapped as a stimming behavior. He outgrew his meltdowns when he was 4 years old. Is he possibly on the high end of the spectrum? Possibly we all are.
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    KariKari Posts: 1,765
    edited November -1
    I did some of the online checklists and tests that people forwarded to me or provided a link for. He really doesn't have any of the characteristics of either of those, so I'm leaning toward anxiety or something social-related. Thinking back, he started acting up last fall when a new child started at daycare who had some emotional/behavioral issues. He also had a new daycare provider helping in the room whom I later figured out was shaming him into toilet training, which totally backfired and got her in trouble when I found out. That was around the time when the second phase of behavioral issues took off. The behavior escalated again this fall when he returned to daycare full-time and all his buddies moved on to preschool and he got left behind. Personally, I was glad he got left behind because the daycare provider who shamed him moved on with the preschoolers and he stayed with a more stable, grandmotherly daycare provider.
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