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Scifimom's baby is here!

scifimomscifimom Posts: 1,173
edited March 2013 in Pregnancy and Babies
Please note, this is written on my phone and unedited. I will come back and edit a little, plus figure out photos.

Hi All, I'm sorry I didnt post sooner! I've wanted to give a bunch of details because I'm having the most wonderful, profound, amazing experience, as I'm sure those whom are already parents, completely understand! I'm going to post some thoughts and come back and update if need be.

A few nights before the birth, I was having contractions for a few nights in a row. For a couple days before labor I was having nesting behavior. On the 10th of Jan I started leaking fluid in the evening and having regular mild contractions. I ran around the house 'making my nest'. I called the dr on call and he told me to go into the hospital to have the fluid tested. It was amniotic fluid and I was admitted. Right on cue, the contractions picked up soon after arrival. My support person arrived and we were having fun. Contractions continued to pick up and an intern told me the baby was nice and low so I went ahead and got the epi. I've been so upset with peoples patronizing comments about how this baby is so much bigger then my miscarriage and so it will hurt so much more and otherwise negating the fact that I have experience with childbirth. So I will say the I got the epi when the contractions were getting close to that mindblowingly intense beyond discription feeling, but not quite there. Oh my is the epi amazing!!! I could move my legs, I knew what was going on, I still experienced the trance-like state at the end, like I did with the mc. Only more profoundly, just with less pain! I got a tiny bit of pit and progressed nicely to a 10. Then the nurse suggested I just go ahead and wait awhile for the baby to continue to move down. So a little while later I started the pushing phase. The baby moved to where we could see the top of her head with a few inches visible. Then she just stayed there! My body didn't continue to open up. I refused to get tired, I tapped into my endurance energy reserves because, I did not want a csection! After 2 hours of pushing my Dr showed up (I was so glad that my actual dr was available!) He said you can continue pushing, but even though the baby is doing fine, they only like women to push for so long. I knew and accepted this hospital fact, plus I there are two sides to the story. While an all natural birth that takes as long as it takes is valid, there is also validity to being cautious with the baby and taking her out before too too long. My dr said that another option is to use forcepts and went on to explain how careful he would be and that he would stop immediatly if it wasnt working, but I cut him off and said I've read about it and want to try. I knew if used with care by a properly trained person, it would be fine! I had started to cry about the looming potential of a csection (one of the very few moments I other than loved about my l&d experience.) Dr also mentioned the vacuum but because of all her hair it would not be the optimal choice. I didn't like the idea of suction on her head (later my dr said he has doesn't like that aspect either and we both agreed that forcpts are more natural). So I told them to move the mirror as I wanted to just concentrate and didn't want to be distracted by big pieces of metal by my baby's head, nor my lady parts. I could feel him place the forcpts and her move out a tiny bit. Then he took them off! I panicked a little bit because I did NOT want a csection and honestly I really wanted her to come out this way as I do feel it's beneficial for the baby. Note that when choosing to have a baby, I decided to fully accept a potential csection. I am not anti-csection. I personally felt strongly that a vaginal delivery would be best for me. Anyways when I felt (and it was strange that I could feel so much, minus pain) the dr remove the forcpts, I was afraid he took them off too soon. The dr coached my pushes and I could feel her come out in increments! This is where I put my everything into it and entered a bit of an altered state. I was crying a primal cry! One of the nurses said soothingly, I know it hurts. I told her no it didn't and SHHhh!!! I wanted everyone to shut the heck up. Yeah, my nurse that attended me primarily until the dr arrived was a little too talkative, too. So, their was a huge relief to push the whole baby out! When the dr lifted up this huge baby it was amazing and even a bit disconcerting to have had such a big baby in my belly!!! I got concerned when she didn't cry right away, but then she did! They checked her out and gave her to me. I cried a bunch more and one of the nurses said, she's overwhelmed. But I wasn't! It was more of a primal cry of glory or some such. But, hey, the medical profession must medicalize it. Pretty much all the nurses were great! I absolutely loved my hospital experience. Most nurses were so caring and helpful with breastfeeding (only one nurse brought up formula as does sometimes happen in the hospital, but because I was well educated on bfing, I was able to write her off pretty easily.)

My tiny girl (and she does seem tiny now!) was 7lbs 9ozs and born on Jan 11th. She is super healthy!!! She is an excellent nurser and has been perfectly guiding my body to produce what she needs with her expertly intuitive cluster feeding! It is really magical to watch her fine tuned skills! She latched right away while in the delivery room during our bonding time. Then was ready to nurse again as soon as the pedi checked her and bathed her in our recovery room. I let my parents know my room number at that time and they got to meet the baby while I nursed. My mom asked to hold her but I had to say no because she was nursing. That felt so good to not let anyone interfere with our first experiences together! Mom stayed at my home and visited
me in the hospital, then one night after I left the hospital. She and I felt that was enough so she went home. But we talk on the phone all the time. My dad got to see the baby again when he came to pick her up. I only had one other visitor in the hospital and that was great!!! I got to just focus on the baby and nurse, nurse, nurse, then nurse some more! Which, aside from her great latch, is why we are such a successful nursing couple. People give all sorts of advise when you are pregnant. Like, 'get help' or 'sleep as much as you can now'. Help can actually be very distracting from nursing & bonding, so I think preparing as much ahead of time as possible is a good idea. Then only have help visit when it is necessary. And here is my unsolicited advise for moms to be, if you are interested in nursing. Take classes, read books, watch DVDs and research potential problems now, before baby is here!!! I heard a bunch of horror stories and so I researched potential solutions to other women's nursing issues. Educating myself gave me the confidence I needed to stay calm and relaxed so baby girl could do her thing in peace! Then when the baby is born, nurse and nurse and nurse!!! If she looks at you, offer the breast, if she
moves, offer the breast, if she makes a noise, offer the breast! Breastfeeding is so much fun!!! I love it!

A couple other thoughts. It was interesting to feel the maternal instinct kick in right away! I love her and it's so much more than that. It's beyond love, it just is. Baby S is very alert and active from the start. One little bummer, I did tear a lot. My dr tried to prevent it but it happened. I'm cool with it. It's healing nicely and was well worth it, of course! Also, thanks for being there on these boards. It means so much to me to have this support (yes, I'm all super nostalgic now that I'm a mommy! ;)
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Comments

  • KKF13KKF13 Posts: 269
    edited November -1
    Congrats! The pictures are great. It's wonderful that you are doing so well!
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  • preciousgiftpreciousgift Posts: 2,191
    edited November -1
    Great story.. .you sound like you are very "in tune" with your baby girl... Cute pictures.

    I know you are a smbc, and I will be as well, did you use a doula at the birth?

    Again, congrats!~
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    ........................... :) Trying again soon :)..................................
  • kstarrkstarr Posts: 1,008
    edited November -1
    congratulations!!!!
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    ICI #1 April 2012- BFN ICI #2 March 2013 BFN
    DH had vasectomy reversal October 2013. It worked!!!
    Counts are low, varicocele surgery was in August 2014.
    IVF February 2016 w/ICSI transferred 2 perfect blastocysts. It's twins!!!!
    Two perfect, beautiful boys born 10/24/16!!
  • mausandlodiemausandlodie Posts: 312 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    She is beautiful! Congrats :)
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  • aplusaaplusa Posts: 1,919
    edited November -1
    Beautiful picture of the both of you together -- and look at all of that hair!!!! No wonder the doctor didn't want to muss it. :)

    BIG, big congratulations!
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    Lucky Cycle 14: IVF!! Antagonist Cycle with Lupron Trigger
  • palegreenpalegreen Posts: 1,478
    edited November -1
    What a great story! Congrats on your new baby girl :)
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  • njmommanjmomma Posts: 531
    edited November -1
    I Love the pictures! And that 1st picture brought good tears into my eyes, it is just soooo precious, first moments between mommy and a baby, it is so Beautiful!! Congratulations!!! :)
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  • bow1532bow1532 Posts: 185
    edited November -1
    Beautiful!!!! Congrats!!!
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  • TheMFamilyTheMFamily Posts: 255
    edited November -1
    Awwwwww congrats!!!! That first picture warms my heart so much!
    Us: Together since '07, engaged '09, married '11. Trying to start a family since '09. 1 BFN.
    Me: Child dev. degree, nanny to 5 for 5.5yrs, digital print artist, portrait photographer.
    *Leaving. Message me if you'd like to keep in touch*
  • summerfunsummerfun Posts: 511
    edited November -1
    Beautiful story, beautiful baby! Congrats! Love her hair!
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  • KatydidKatydid Posts: 515
    edited November -1
    Congratulations! I am glad that you are enjoying the experience :)
  • graceinflgraceinfl Posts: 1,743
    edited November -1
    Congrats on Ss birth! Thank you for sharing the pics. She is beautiful and I am glad you are both doing wonderful!
  • TheMysticalOneTheMysticalOne Posts: 849 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Congrats on your new little one! She's so sweet and I love the first picture of the two of you! You look so relieved/amazed! :D
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  • ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    Love that you had a positive birth and bonding experience. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
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  • minnie0672minnie0672 Posts: 1,264
    edited November -1
    Congratulations! She is absolutely beautiful :)
    6 IUI's resulting in BFN. 7th IUI was the fun one with pregnant...then not...then ectopic at 7 weeks...IVF #1 - miscarriage...IVF #2 miscarriage 5w6d...IVF #3 cancelled due to not growing embryos and pneumonia...IVF# 4 same old story...BFP then miscarriage...this is getting old...onto possibly Donor Egg or Donor Embryo
  • 2moms_somewhere2moms_somewhere Posts: 305
    edited November -1
    Congrats!
  • HopingForBFPHopingForBFP Posts: 520
    edited November -1
    Congratulations!! she's beautiful!
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    BFP- 8/9/09 at 10DPO, after 4 years TTC. Sydnee born on April 14th 2010. BFP #2 at 11DPO 9/29/12. Due 6/11/13
  • mommylovemommylove Posts: 1,582
    edited November -1
    So happy for you! Congrats!
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    October 2014

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  • MelandTara01MelandTara01 Posts: 557
    edited November -1
    Congrats...what a beautiful story. Your first picture has left me in search of tissue...I can't stop the tears. So amazing!
    TTC #1 10/2012 -- BFN
    TTC #2 11/2012 -- BFP!!! :)
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  • Jen727BFJen727BF Posts: 2,304
    edited November -1
    Thank you for sharing your birth story. I was in tears by the end! Your baby girl is beautiful. Congrats!!!
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    TTC No. 2 since Aug. 2014; IVF #1 - Cxld; IVF #2 - BFN
  • scifimomscifimom Posts: 1,173
    edited January 2013
    Thanks ladies!!! Jeez I sure wrote a lot, lol!

    Presciousgift, I did not use a doula. I spoke to one doula and she started talking about teaching me 9 steps to breastfeeding and that it doesn't come naturally for most women. How if I want to avoid a csection I should get a midwife (even after I first explained I need a doula who is cool with my OB and the epi/hospital.) And some other comments. I felt she was complicating the whole process so much that I didn't even want to talk to another doula. My dr suggested I find someone who is there for ME and not the birth like I doula would be focused on. I actually chose my first husband to be my support person because I knew he would do what I asked without making the situation an ego thing about himself. If I wanted him to shut up and sit in the corner or the waiting room he would do it. He fetched me ice and what ever I needed. One mistake he made was texting my parents that the baby was born. I wanted to do that and I didn't relegate him that job. But I forgave him and he understood when I was miffed about it. I also felt I needed some male energy to balance things out. A woman would get too emotionally touchy if I said the wrong thing, but a man is more inclined to detach and just be present (huge generalization, I know, just making a point that I think applies to my situation.)

    One thing I would change is that I would have taken a couple online birth classes and otherwise studied birthing a bit more like I did for nursing. I didn't resonate with the way my nurse tought me to push. I liked how my dr discribed it better. He even corrected her when he showed up. And she really tried to involve my exhusband like he was the father and that grew to.be annoying as time passed. But she was still a sweetie and I learned some lessons for next time. Luckily I didn't have to learn any major mistakes!

    Oh also, my support person took a bunch of amazing step by step photos of the whole process of the baby first being set on my belly, being checked out, weighted, handed bact to me, etc. what a gift! I knew for certain I had made the best choice when I saw all the awesome photos!
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  • preciousgiftpreciousgift Posts: 2,191
    edited November -1
    You bring up some good points about a doula, something to take into consideration.

    So glad that your support person was overall a big help (minus the texting issue ... :/ )...

    You certainly do have some wonderful photos to remember your baby's entrance into this world. That first photo shows such raw, sweet emotion and is very touching.... So sweet... Congrats again!!!
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    ........................... :) Trying again soon :)..................................
  • TheOtherLovingMomsTheOtherLovingMoms Posts: 1,481
    edited November -1
    Congrats. Your baby girl is beautiful. That first picture is amazing!!
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    I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
    Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
    Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
  • MNmommasMNmommas Posts: 1,081
    edited November -1
    Congratulations Scifimom! She is absolutely perfect! And that picture, hello waterworks. Like preciousgift said, such raw emotion, what a great memory to have captured for always. You really sound like things are going pretty smoothly (nursing, etc) - that is AWESOME.

    Oh, and the epi? Yeah, I had specifically planned NOT to have one but ended up getting one, and can I just say? Best. Decision. Ever. I felt like it made me able to actually be present for birthing my daughter instead of being so consumed by constant pain that I didn't care about anything else but making it stop. It was like night & day, the difference!

    Again, congrats! You are both gorgeous!
    Donor 7070, births 2012 & 2013
  • A&JA&J Posts: 1,825
    edited November -1
    Amazing! Congratulations! Beautiful photos!
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  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited November -1
    So happy you were able to have the birth experience you had hoped for! Congrats on your beautiful baby girl - she is adorable!!!!
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

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  • saraleesaralee Posts: 504
    edited November -1
    Those photos are incredible! Love the emotion on your face in the first one. Your little one's head of hair is amazingly beautiful - so much of it!

    Congratulations, Momma! What a wonderful story.
    Baby boy joined us April 11, 2013, and we are so in *LOVE*!
  • AuntrayrayAuntrayray Posts: 241
    edited November -1
    Congratulations! She's absolutely beautiful and your story is amazing!!
    Baby #4 ~ It's a boy!!
    2013.pngMake a pregnancy ticker
  • cocobaycocobay Posts: 1,318
    edited November -1
    Congrats! She is beautiful! And that first photo is priceless :)
  • mrslebrewmrslebrew Posts: 344
    edited November -1
    Congrats! She's precious!
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