When does it get easier and what is your favorite age

njmomma

Basically that's my question, well, maybe 2 questions in 1 topic.
Personally, I find it more challenging raising a toddler than a baby. My daughter will be turning 2 years old in 2 weeks, and temper tantrums are in full affect. Every.Single.Day. It's tough to deal with temper tantrums, even though I know that they are part of normal development in toddlers. When she was a baby it was little easier, maybe except for that I didn't sleep much, but other than that, once I developed my routine, it was fine.
With a toddler, I can't stop worrying. She climbs every single piece of furniture, doesn't stay still for more than 0.5 seconds, still puts every single thing off the floor in her mouth. Yes, this stage is fun and fascinating too, as my daughter is learning so many things now, she is singing, dancing, counting till 14, and it's so fun to hear her talk now, but her most favorite word that I keep on hearing a lot remains "No!"
So my question is: does it get little easier when they get older? I mean, will there be a time when I will be able to do little things for myself, like having my cup of coffee that's still hot and a meal that's still warm and go somewhere public with my daughter and stay there longer than 15 minutes, lol. Please tell me it does get little easier. Thanks.

Shanny

Oh My Gosh, it does. It gets so, so, so much easier than all of that! I had almost forgotten a lot of that until I just read it. I'd like to believe life was always a breeze with Kate but I know that is just selective memory. So that's another piece of good news, you really tend not to remember how trying the trying times are but you do remember so much of the good.

I think that part of the reason we are smooth sailing at 5 is because I have laid a lot of ground work - mostly in the last 2-3 years. Kate has always been asked to clean up her toys, put her dirty clothes in the hamper etc. - since she was tiny since she started walking at 9 months and was pretty sharp too . But when I bought this house 3 years she was 2 and 4 months, that's when I really focused in on her being able to help as much as she could. She has been told since the beginning that not only do the dirty clothes go in the hamper but they go in properly (not inside out). It sounds silly but little things like this save me a ton of time when doing chores and she is a huge help now and does things without being asked. Was it always easy? NO, it would have been much easier to let her play happily with blocks while I emptied the dishwasher by myself. But now, I can get something else done (something she can't do yet like cook dinner) while she empties the dishwasher by herself. It has all been a process and there are many days I still have to explain to her that we are a team and the more she helps me do things that need to be done, the more time we have to do fun things we want to do like go to the park, zoo etc.

All the toddler stuff - the climbing, the tantrums etc gets easier too but the more structure you have in terms of everyday life and expectations the sooner, more consistently it happens.

Lastly, try not to say no all the time. It is so hard but it really does seem to help. Can I have a cookie? Not right now, instead of no. Maybe later. It can make a big difference in how much she says it to you. Also, try not to give her the opportunity by asking yes/no questions. If it is time to get dressed for school don't ask her if she is ready to get dressed. Of course she will say no. Tell her it is time to get dressed.

One minute I'd give anything to go back to about 14 months old (my favorite age) but then I read something like this which makes the reality seem not so dreamy as I like to remember. But, enjoy!

I am really enjoying 5. Kate reading to me, we are going to see her first play in a few weeks, she is on her first soccer team. A lot of big girl stuff that we are really enjoying!

coryandamanda

Sorry to say but the toughest age by far with my girls so far has been age 3. Terrible 2s were nothing as compared to the drama filled Theatrical 3s. It reminds me of the comedy/tragedy masks because you never know when you will go from elated and carefree to kicking and screaming on the ground. It is like living with someone with bipolar or multiple personalities. Yes, we see this at age 2 as well but when they are 3 you also dive into the world of unknown whether they will wake up wanting to do everything by themselves or wanting you to do it all for them. And you can bet when you are in a hurry it is a "do it myself" day and if you even THINK about trying to help them and hurry it along they will scream bloody murder and when you have the time to encourage them to be independent they will have absolutely no interest. They will test their limits as much as humanly possible. So, now that I have totally made you even feel worse......it did get better at 4 in a lot of ways
Now our current 2 yo son......he is WAY more terrible 2s than both his sisters were combined and he got a jump start on them at about 22 months old. So I am thinking positively that his 3s will NOT be as bad.....

ETA: Even with all this age 10 months to 35 11/12 months is still my fav.....so far. Our oldest becoming a big girl at age 6 is pretty cool too.

mommylove

I have to echo coryandamanda's sentiments here...sorry.
This article put it into words quite well with some humor (which you'll want to keep intact for your own sanity): http://www.scarymommy.com/three-is-more-terrible-than-two/

m&smom

All I can say, is hugs. The twins are 25 months old and tough. They are really easy going but I am finding it harder to leave the house. They are potty trained. I will take them for lunch and one will ask to potty, 10 mins later the other has to go. Most times I am by myself so I must get both babies out of their chairs, go to the potty, wash hands, etc. I also, make them clean up, wipe up their messes, and use no only in cases of emergency.

Kari

I found that Justin got really easy around 2 because he could talk and rationalize so well. Juliet's 2 and 1/4 and not talking hardly at all, so it's non-stop tantrums and confusion. Tonight she wasn't hungry. At this age Justin would've said, "I'm not hungry. I'm going to play." Juliet threw her plate and cup on the floor. Then she screamed when Justin got ice cream and she didn't. Thinking she wasn't being understood, she stole Justin's ice cream and had to be chased down. Then there was another tantrum. (And I told her she could have ice cream if she helped me pick up her dinner off the floor, but she refused for 15 minutes.) Fun times. Later this evening after I put her to bed she got up and came to the door in hysterics. All I could make out was "wet". Lots of investigating later I discovered her sippy cup had leaked on the bed. Language and communication is definitely key to a happier, calmer household!

ETA: my co-worker with a daughter and twin boys - all teens now - says ages 6-9 are the best! But she also likes that while she's still in bed, her kids are up, fed, and dressed and stop by to say they're going to school.

fisch

We are starting to see some changes, but working hard at savoring the baby too. She's going to be the last one and is really already such a big girl, wanting to be like big brother, doing everything faster and sooner than he did at her age. I can only imagine that a 3rd and 4th child must move at warp speed through childhood!

At 6 and almost 3, no more naps in our house, we can really go places and do stuff now with ease. Mainly with just a snack bag (and sometimes a stroller if a lot of walking). It still takes us awhile to get out of the house to go anywhere, but not like before when we needed a diaper bag...someone was always to blame for forgotten something or other....

Our kids have always been in full time daycare, then full time preschool, and now jack is in kindergarten, so these transitions were big, but not the first big one.

We really want to do a Disneyland trip this fall and think Emerson is just about old enough to really enjoy it.

Activities are part of our every weekend now. Soccer and swimming. Usually we just do one activity at a time, but have some overlap right now.

We would call ourselves still in the weeds a bit though, as Emerson still wakes and comes to our room most nights...we put her straight back to bed. Then she wakes again about 4am and we usually let her stay in bed with us until she is awake for good at 5:30-6. She still has tantrums, and a short attention span, but we can see the gradual movement toward less of this...so a light at the end of the tunnel. I will be both happy and sad when these are gone. She starts her move from daycare to preschool this September and I know we can expect major growth once there. I'm excited for her as I know she is ready, but sad for the end of her baby days.

EMG_REL

We're definitely having a hard time over here, too. H has been hitting, kicking, biting, spitting...but only towards the two of us. It's definitely been a trying time. I love being able to converse with him and pretend with him and all that good stuff, but he is very stubborn and can be quite aggressive and bossy. So far, I think I'd pick around 18 months as my favorite age. I hope things start to calm down soon!

mel

A lot of people say it doesn't get easier, it just gets different. I've found that to be true. There is a shift from intense physical work to more mental/emotional work of parenting. It is definitely easier once you can sleep all night, though. I love the fact that my kids can buckle their own car seats now and that I don't have to figure out a way to carry 3 infant seats around to do something. I found a significant amount of freedom in just being able to grab the kids and go out without a diaper bag or stroller. But now we're getting to issues that can be really stressful, and sometimes I really miss the simplicity of the baby days.

My favorite stages have been from about 11-17 months and 4 years old. Four was just magical. I loved it!

kitty

5 was the best year ever!!!.... Old enough to do things and hold conversations but young enough that you are the world to them. Mine is now 8 yes 8 for those of you who remember me..... and I feel I have been replaced by friends..:(

njmomma

Thank you ladies for all the replies!