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3.5 yrs....this just isn't my favorite
fisch
Posts: 570 ✭✭
Weve been through this before. But last time we had a new baby in the house and could kind of focus on that as the main issue and work towards better behavior accordingly. Now, no excuses, just plain 3.5.... And it is by far, my least favorite age. what is going on in the brain that causes unpredictable, regular meltdowns? Everything from morning clothes, to breakfast, to brother saying good morning, sets this child off into a state of utter loss of control. So I pick her up and wordlessly carry her to her bed and patiently wait for hysteria to subside, then move in for a cuddle and calm down. Over and over again. It's clear that she has no control, but it is hard to keep cool every. Single. Time. Any tips on making it through to the other side?
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I am jealous that you are halfway through it already. We are only a month in and waving the white flag.
u
Are you talking about feelings with her? I do a lot of work with emotion coaching and the verbal diarrhea of continuously talking about feelings. I have found that I need to have things around that I can continuously look back to. I have a couple of favorite websites open on my phone at all times so that I can go back to reading them as needed. One is definitely the ahaparenting.com website, there are often three or more pages of that website open on my phone or H's. (Currently it's 'is my 4 year old a bully', and '10 alternatives to consequences').
This one is a nice one to print out and hang up on the wall of every room in the house!
http://www.parentingcounts.org/professionals/parenting-handouts/information-for-parents-emotion-coaching.pdf
This one is also nice, but more in depth
http://westseattlepreschoolassociation.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/West-Seattle-Preschool-Association-Emotion-Coaching-Handout-3-19-2012.pdf
OR
The good news is you really do forget most of these trying times and are left with the warmest, fuzziest memories.
Guess which is probably accurate
We'll get through this!
For other stuff, I find I can sometimes stop the tantrums early on if I can offer a choice, like if she melts over getting clothes on, I offer her a choice of 2-3 things. If she won't tolerate having her teeth brushed, I ask if she wants to do it herself first or have mommy go first. I've heard it's all about control with 2-3 year olds, so giving them a say helps.
Then there are times I just off to my quiet place and make myself a hot fudge sundae and say, "This too shall pass," over and over.