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3.5 yrs....this just isn't my favorite

fischfisch Posts: 570 ✭✭
edited October 2014 in Parenting and Life
Weve been through this before. But last time we had a new baby in the house and could kind of focus on that as the main issue and work towards better behavior accordingly. Now, no excuses, just plain 3.5.... And it is by far, my least favorite age. what is going on in the brain that causes unpredictable, regular meltdowns? Everything from morning clothes, to breakfast, to brother saying good morning, sets this child off into a state of utter loss of control. So I pick her up and wordlessly carry her to her bed and patiently wait for hysteria to subside, then move in for a cuddle and calm down. Over and over again. It's clear that she has no control, but it is hard to keep cool every. Single. Time. Any tips on making it through to the other side?
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    EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    We are right there with you. I swear he's difficult just for fun sometimes. The other morning, he was having one of his inexplicable meltdowns, and when we asked him why he was crying, he said, "Because I like to cry." Haha! I don't have advice, but I can definitely relate. Hugs.
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    coryandamandacoryandamanda Posts: 1,527
    edited November -1
    3 is absolutely the most exhausting age. The child is balancing between baby and big kid stage and their emotions are just extremely bipolar.
    I am jealous that you are halfway through it already. We are only a month in and waving the white flag.
    July 4, 2015
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    ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    No advice but sending virtual support your way!
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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited October 2014
    Oh, three is no fun at all. We found 3.5 to be way better, the closer she got to 4. But we tend to find that the first six months of each age are much harder than the second six months.
    Are you talking about feelings with her? I do a lot of work with emotion coaching and the verbal diarrhea of continuously talking about feelings. I have found that I need to have things around that I can continuously look back to. I have a couple of favorite websites open on my phone at all times so that I can go back to reading them as needed. One is definitely the ahaparenting.com website, there are often three or more pages of that website open on my phone or H's. (Currently it's 'is my 4 year old a bully', and '10 alternatives to consequences').
    This one is a nice one to print out and hang up on the wall of every room in the house!
    http://www.parentingcounts.org/professionals/parenting-handouts/information-for-parents-emotion-coaching.pdf

    This one is also nice, but more in depth
    http://westseattlepreschoolassociation.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/West-Seattle-Preschool-Association-Emotion-Coaching-Handout-3-19-2012.pdf
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    palegreenpalegreen Posts: 1,478
    edited November -1
    us too!!!!! We've hit the 3's full force and all I can think about is "oh boy, we have to do this all over again in two years". Ha!
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    babybabybabybaby Posts: 1,564
    edited November -1
    we breezed through 2 and 3 and now 4 seems to be the rough age over here. sorry, i know that's not helpful, but i feel your pain.
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    ShannyShanny Posts: 2,456
    edited November -1
    My thoughts are that Kate was either the only super awesome 3 year old ever

    OR

    The good news is you really do forget most of these trying times and are left with the warmest, fuzziest memories.

    Guess which is probably accurate :)
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    Ronna71Ronna71 Posts: 144
    edited November -1
    My little one is 3 years and 4 months old, and I have to tell you, she is really trying my patience, as well. Inexplicable meltdowns seem to happen daily And for some reason, she just SCREAMS her head off. :) I find that to be most disturbing! I love her dearly, of course, but I have to admit that I weary of all the drama that she seems to create. One other thing that we struggle with is her running off - for instance, if I make the foolish decision to let her walk in Target. I fear my carefree days of shopping is behind me when she is with me. Anyway, this too, shall pass (right??). She is very verbal, and highly imaginative, not to mention, hilarious, so I try to focus on those traits when she starts driving me nuts. :)

    We'll get through this!
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    EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    Ronna, you literally just described H perfectly. I guess it really is an age thing (I also hope!).
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    KariKari Posts: 1,765
    edited November -1
    I find myself giving in to a lot of things, as does Justin. Juliet has to be the one to turn lights and tv on and off. She has to beep us in at daycare, and press the automatic button on the door to leave. We've dealt with so many tantrums over this over these specific issues that I just let her do these things.

    For other stuff, I find I can sometimes stop the tantrums early on if I can offer a choice, like if she melts over getting clothes on, I offer her a choice of 2-3 things. If she won't tolerate having her teeth brushed, I ask if she wants to do it herself first or have mommy go first. I've heard it's all about control with 2-3 year olds, so giving them a say helps.

    Then there are times I just off to my quiet place and make myself a hot fudge sundae and say, "This too shall pass," over and over. ;)
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