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Sharing donor profiles with your children?

fischfisch Posts: 570 ✭✭
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
Anyone have a plan for this? Jack is doing a unit on family in his first grade class and I considered bringing it out to read with him, but hen I read it again privately I decided we should wait a bit longer. I think there are many things that he probably won't understand and I don't want him to have pre-conceived expectations of himself, i.e. the donor was tall and liked sports, but jack is average height and doesn't like sports. Plus he just doesn't get why we don't know him. It doesn't make sense to him. So I'm curious both about those with slightly older children who have gone through this, and those who are planners and have thought it through.

We have shared info along the way. Met one of the donor sibs when they were about 4yrs. Jack has only expressed occasional interest.
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    friendamyfriendamy Posts: 588
    edited November -1
    eek! I don't have a plan other than the vague idea that I'll show it to him eventually. my son is 7 and I don't think he cares, or would "get" it.

    how in depth is the project?
    Amy (39)
    DS (7) - d#470
    Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.

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    ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    No plan yet here. Just taking it one day at a time. As S grows, I want her to think of her donor as a man who gave his genetic material to help start our family. I don't want to say/do anything to cause her to idolize him or otherwise create a fantasy father figure.

    In your shoes, I would build on the family in his life. Trees don't always just grow. They can have grafts. So your son's tree can include both bio- and chosen family members.
    AfUDuhU.jpgAfUDm4.png
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    christeacherchristeacher Posts: 242 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I plan on making a donor book with some of the basic information and his pictures.
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    shauna2710shauna2710 Posts: 769 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I showed it to bailey on her first birthday lol. I plan to be very open and let her see it and ask whatever questions she may have at any age.
    Cycle 6 was my lucky cycle! BFP!!!
    EDD 12/13/2013
    It's identical TWINS! They're GIRLS!
    7/20/2013 Sweet Baby A lost her battle with IUGR.
    8/26/2013 Feisty Baby B was born via emergency CSection 16 weeks premature
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    ML0604ML0604 Posts: 1
    edited November -1
    Our son is 10 years old, sitting next to me, and learning about all of this for the first time. He is reading through his donor profile, and having a very educated conversation about all the reasons why nothing changes after this conversation. We've tossed around the idea of sharing the information with him, for years, but it never seemed like the right time. He has been learning about the reproductive system and fertilization in health class. He has a few friends that have non-traditional families. I think we stressed about this far more than we should've. He handled it amazingly. He is beyond smart, and well rounded. This was the perfect time to tell him. I couldn't be prouder and more humbled by his response.

    Good luck to you all. I hope you all find the right answers.
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