How long did you wait to TTC again?

merryshannon

So assuming a m/c is complete, HcG is zero, how long would you wait before making another attempt? The ob GYN yesterday said she recommends three normal periods first. That feels so, so long... Yet because we have to do donor egg IVF overseas I don't want to waste our next chance, either.

As a side note, while all the doctors and nurses and ultrasound techs and so on have been really nice through this loss, I don't think they really understand. I got a lot of well-meaning "what's meant to be will be" and "this probably wasn't the healthy baby you want" and "there's always next time" and even "I've been through it too, I know." But they don't know, because it's not like DP and I can go home, have a bunch of sex, and get pregnant again. Not even like we can buy some more swimmers and do ICIs or IUIs. Oh no. I have to go through weeks of injections and then fly halfway around the world for a donor egg, and pay around $10K for another chance to roll the dice. I know I'm probably being unfairly bitter here... Pain isn't a competition... But it just feels so damn unfair.

Anyway. I'm just trying to figure out if there's any chance we might be able to take another try in march or April... That's the only way we'd still get a 2015 baby.

diane&tammy

I completely feel what you are saying. We lost our little one last month and the world stopped. It's only just beginning to spin a little. I hate all the "it happens all the time or it wasn't meant to be" and all the other things you said. Right now I can't even write this without crying! I feel empty and just completely devastated and the only thing that keeps me sane is knowing that we can try again. My ob/gyn said to wait 2 full cycles. I've researched this and found that there are no real studies that say waiting that long will have any impact or increase the chance of another miscarriage. The chance of another already exists it doesn't increase, I don't care what the doctors say. I rely on scientific facts and I have not found any.

I have found, however, that in a study done of women that had 1st trimester miscarriages, if they got pregnant again within 6 months the chances of going on to have a healthy baby are better than those who wait longer. I am going to wait until at least March because I want to make sure my body is back on track. I am still waiting for my first AF to show and seriously dreading it.

It is just going to be a reminder that I no longer have my baby. This is the most horrible thing to have to go through and unless you have you just have no idea how heart-wrenchingly painful it is!

I'm here if you want to talk.

merilung

merryshannon wrote:

But they don't know, because it's not like DP and I can go home, have a bunch of sex, and get pregnant again. Not even like we can buy some more swimmers and do ICIs or IUIs. Oh no. I have to go through weeks of injections and then fly halfway around the world for a donor egg, and pay around $10K for another chance to roll the dice. I know I'm probably being unfairly bitter here... Pain isn't a competition... But it just feels so damn unfair.

It sucks and it is totally unfair. I'm sure any miscarriage of a wanted baby is heartbreaking, but it's a totally different scenario when you have a fertile heterosexual couple who can conceive for free in the privacy of their own home. I agree with you 110% that they have NO idea what you're going through. I know they're well meaning but they really need to shut the hell up.

Anyway, I know my RE only recommends that you wait to have 1 normal period after m/c. I really hope you can try again in March or April

scorpiogrl7

My RE had me start back on BCP for the next (frozen) cycle as soon as my HCG was to zero. I was still spotting a little, in fact.

ruedeodeon

I actually was told by an OBGYN that you're actually very fertile after a miscarriage or pregnancy loss of any type. I don't know how accurate this info is, but I have heard it from a few sources.

merilung

My RE says that too, rudeodeon.

merryshannon

Thanks guys. The Greek clinic is going to give me a discount on a second round, and the dollar is strong right now, and I have a ton of airline miles so I may be able to get the plane ticket for like half cost. And, with all the money we spent on TTC last year my tax refund should be big. And,the shipment of meds I ordered arrived today... Which stung a lot but at least I wont need to buy much more for the next try. So I am feeling better about being able to find the money for another try.

Now I'm just hoping my body will finish this quickly so we can get on with it. I am hoping that it's true about the high fertility after a m/c... That would be a comfort.

K&H

My loss was later than yours, but it took my body at least three months before it was back to normal cycles. Prior to that i would never have been able to tell when I was ovulating, it just wasn't preditable.
My brain wasn't ready for at least that long either. We finally started trying again in August following our loss in Dec. So, for us, it took a long time and I don't know if my body will ever truly be the same.

che_arami

i'm glad to read you're finding possibilities to plan for the next step! definitely whatever is the best decision for your health but it's good to know some other things are already in place.

mausandlodie

We had an early loss and waited through one cycle before trying again - that insem gave us our daughter. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jen727BF

I am so sorry for your loss. Many hugs.

flashpacker

I seriously wanted to punch anyone who said that my MCed baby probably didn't survive due to abnormalities. Of course I know that's a logical statement, it just really didn't help! Also, people said things like "Do you regret telling people?" and "I guess it depends on if you considered it a baby." Is great to hear that the clinic is going to work with you on a discount to try again. All good wishes!!

emlklg444

Miscarriages SUCK!!!! So sorry you're having to deal with this. We're still ttc after a first m/c (a missed m/c at 8weeks) in late July, & took until late October to finally be cleared with a D&C... then another BFP followed by another m/c in late Nov... UUUUUGH!! I was so desperate to ttc again in the "6 month window" that I did not want to wait AT ALL, did not really track my cycle & now we've wasted 6 more vials and the cost of overnight shipping this cycle because I have yet to ovulate despite having LH surges/smiley faces show up. So now, we're pausing to track my crazy cycle. I hope you can try again soon. It seems like your method of trying, IVF with donor egg, will yield a much higher percentage of success.

stwrr

Just wanted to add our experience to this side of the board...

We had a miscarriage from our TTC attempt in September, which was a confusing situation all around (I got my period, then two weeks later a positive test from the September cycle, right before we were gearing up for another IUI -- but I lost the pregnancy). The RE's office did betas, and when they were zero a few weeks later, said to call on my next period. We tried again right away, and got pregnant with my December cycle.

And today, we lost that little one (no heartbeat on ultrasound). I'm not quite ready to try again this very moment, but I know I will be by the time I can. This forum has been reassuring in some ways... and of course heartbreaking in others. But there's some comfort in knowing our RE is a one cycle after zero beta provider, and we'll be able to try again when my body is ready.

Emotionally, that's a whole 'nother thing, which we'll take one day at a time.

~ Sandy, reassured to know she's not alone in all this.

tinydancer

this thread was very helpful. sorry to hear of all the losses but I know most of you are now pregnant again.
Im in the same spot. just had a missed loss at 8 1/2 weeks where baby died at 6 weeks growth.
I plan to try again right away. I was thinking that I may ovulate right away since Im barely bleeding after passing it all. then again wondering what if I should be bleeding more?!

it wont be easy to track O im sure right after a loss but I also read that conception is higher in the 3 months following a loss. I have indeed gotten pregnant after losses prior. I have some living children to show for it and rest were losses too. it is indeed hard to plan since Im ordering sperm vs natural sex. this means I could ovulate as early as next week. also, Im not sure if I should use clomid because my egg supply is low and perhaps that would up my chances of one good egg coming thru.
did anyone take clomid right after a loss?