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breastmilk defeat :(

che_aramiche_arami Posts: 787 ✭
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
well, it happened. ds is 4 and a half months and we've been exclusively pumping since coming home from the hospital. sometimes I had an amazing stock, like 9 bottles in the fridge plus frozen, and sometimes I'm running scared just barely keeping up with him. today we're done to one half bottle and since I have to leave for work in an hour, I'm down in the kitchen making a bottle of formula while I eat my oatmeal. I feel so defeated!! especially since I know if I hadn't taken this job today I could stay home and probably keep up with him :(

I know he's still fine, perfectly healthy, formula won't harm him, and in fact I'll keep pumping for at least part/most of his sustenance and we may even bounce back to full breastmilk. it just feels horrible after having been all he needed for months :(

I realize this isn't really a question. ..but it's ok to use this board for free therapy too, right? :) also to add insult to injury my period returned last night! no big deal but I wouldn't have minded if she'd stayed away for another year or so :)
got our miracle BFP on first IVF after 3 years TTC. DS born may 20, 2015 after emergency cesarean. all are doing well and trying to figure out this new journey!!

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    hoping4number2hoping4number2 Posts: 321
    edited November -1
    Don't beat yourself up about it! EPing is hard work, and it is not easy for many women to keep up with supply and demand. You did a wonderful thing by providing him the milk he needed for the first 4.5 months. Every drop counts! No reason to feel bad about working - many women work outside the home with no BFing issues, and many women stay home and still struggle to successfully breastfeed. You did great!
    16bdg7b.jpg
    Baby #1: April 2011 TTC #2 since 2014 Attempt #10 = BFP! Baby arrived January 2016
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    PatienceisavirtuePatienceisavirtue Posts: 777
    edited November -1
    EPing is the worst! It is literally the work of breastfeeding and formula feeding.

    I have so much respect for women who even try to EP! Congrats for making to 4.5 months.

    Remember, it's not all or nothing though either. If you want to keep pumping you can and might even be able to ditch formula some days.
    TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
    TTC #2: since June 2016...
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    PatienceisavirtuePatienceisavirtue Posts: 777
    edited November -1
    EPing is the worst! It is literally the work of breastfeeding and formula feeding.

    I have so much respect for women who even try to EP! Congrats for making to 4.5 months.

    Remember, it's not all or nothing though either. If you want to keep pumping you can and might even be able to ditch formula some days.
    TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
    TTC #2: since June 2016...
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    blkbrd3blkbrd3 Posts: 1,221 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I think somewhere between 4 and 5 months I began to supplement in earnest with formula. I'd been EPing all that time and made it through month nine before we finished.

    EPing is hard. Every ounce you give is a gift. When you're done,whenever that is, you've done a great job that no one else could do. There's nothing wrong with supplementing if that works for your family.

    Hugs to you mama.
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    hortonhorton Posts: 67
    edited October 2015
    I'm sorry you feel defeated. I agree that EP-ing is seriously hard. I hated pumping and I'm 100% sure I'd have switched to formula very early on if I'd had to EP.

    That said, I remember your post not too long ago about making less milk. If your period just came back, that post might have been right around your ovulation time. I know that sometimes ovulation/periods actually CAN cause you to produce less milk temporarily, so if that seems like it might be the case here, take heart and know that things might soon improve a little on that front at least!

    Good luck and hang in there!
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    ruedeodeonruedeodeon Posts: 160
    edited November -1
    you did so much better than I did.....I breastfed for 4 weeks and just couldn't do it anymore..Pumping and getting accustomed just wore me out...You did a good job and shouldn't feel defeated your baby has your immunities and has a great start...I have been feeding my baby similac since I stopped and he's healthy and happy and sleeps wonderfully he's right on track and I'm happy about that.
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    che_aramiche_arami Posts: 787 ✭
    edited November -1
    thank you all ladies for your kind words! I definitely want to continue pumping but it may just not be 'exclusive' anymore I wish I didn't get so worked up over things that I know in the long run are really ok for the baby either way!!!
    got our miracle BFP on first IVF after 3 years TTC. DS born may 20, 2015 after emergency cesarean. all are doing well and trying to figure out this new journey!!
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