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We lost our little girl
JandRVA
Posts: 298
This is probably the hardest thing I will ever write in my life.
We lost our little girl.
After having a perfect anatomy scan, we went in a few days later for our regular 20 week visit. I mentioned to my OB that I had been having some weird discharge for the past couple of days so she did another ultrasound and tested the discharge to make sure it wasn't amniotic fluid. Everything was perfect. She sent me home and instructed me to take it easy for a few days. So we headed home. As I stood up to get out of our car, I felt a sudden whoosh of fluid. My water had broken. By the time we made it to the Labor and Delivery unit of our hospital, there was no amniotic fluid left. My OB was actually there doing rounds and did another ultrasound on me. She was shocked at the change from just a few hours earlier.
Being only 20 weeks along, there was nothing the hospital staff could do. After being given three terrible options (termination, induction, or waiting), we opted to wait in the hope that we might be able to spend even a few moments with our daughter. Four days later, I delivered our sweet little girl. We named her Hope since that was the word we seemed to say the most over those four days. She was so beautiful and perfect. Her heart continued to beat for two hours before it finally stopped. Minutes later, I was rushed to the operating room for an emergency D&C/blood transfusion as I had began to hemorrhage.
We're finally back home and the recovery is going slowly. To say we are heartbroken is an understatement. I just feel so incredibly lost at this moment.
We lost our little girl.
After having a perfect anatomy scan, we went in a few days later for our regular 20 week visit. I mentioned to my OB that I had been having some weird discharge for the past couple of days so she did another ultrasound and tested the discharge to make sure it wasn't amniotic fluid. Everything was perfect. She sent me home and instructed me to take it easy for a few days. So we headed home. As I stood up to get out of our car, I felt a sudden whoosh of fluid. My water had broken. By the time we made it to the Labor and Delivery unit of our hospital, there was no amniotic fluid left. My OB was actually there doing rounds and did another ultrasound on me. She was shocked at the change from just a few hours earlier.
Being only 20 weeks along, there was nothing the hospital staff could do. After being given three terrible options (termination, induction, or waiting), we opted to wait in the hope that we might be able to spend even a few moments with our daughter. Four days later, I delivered our sweet little girl. We named her Hope since that was the word we seemed to say the most over those four days. She was so beautiful and perfect. Her heart continued to beat for two hours before it finally stopped. Minutes later, I was rushed to the operating room for an emergency D&C/blood transfusion as I had began to hemorrhage.
We're finally back home and the recovery is going slowly. To say we are heartbroken is an understatement. I just feel so incredibly lost at this moment.
Trying for Baby #2: 4th IUI June 2016 - BFP!
Sweet little Rose was born on Feb 25th
Baby #1: Lucky #7 July 2015 - BFP
Our little girl, Hope, was born at 20w4d after PPRoM. She passed away 2 hours after birth.
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ICI #1 April 2012- BFN ICI #2 March 2013 BFN
DH had vasectomy reversal October 2013. It worked!!!
Counts are low, varicocele surgery was in August 2014.
IVF February 2016 w/ICSI transferred 2 perfect blastocysts. It's twins!!!!
Two perfect, beautiful boys born 10/24/16!!
TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!
IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN
Lucky #10 - IVF!
Two sweet baby girls (IVF 2015, FET 2017)
Born: Jan, 2016 Home 2 IUI, partner carried
Born: Nov, 2016 Home 1 ICI, I carried
IUI~BFP (BORN STILL) AT 16w5d 4/3/14
Chemicals~IUI 7/24/14;8/21;BFNs~9/25;10/19;IVF#1-2/21/15~No embies made to blast.
IVF#2-BFP~4/16 trans. 2 embies
5/2015-BFN 6/2015-Chemical 8/2015-BFN 10/2015-BFN 12/2015-BFP (miscarriage)
2/2016-BFN 4/2016-BFN 7/2016-BFN 10/2016-BFN 11/2016-BFN 12/2016-BFN 3/2017-BFP!!!
It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!
Early ovarian failure. 4 failed ICIs, 6 failed IUIs. Donor Egg IVF in Greece: IVF#1 12/2014 - BFP, miscarried at 6WK3D. IVF #2 4/2015 - BFN. IVF#3 7/2015 - BFP. Baby boy Searc born 4/8/16 - 9lbs, 2 oz
TTC Blog
2nd daughter born 3/8/2016 (bfp after 7 attempts at home ICI, 2 miscarriages, 1 D&C)
age 36
age 39
It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!
We're still at the point where we are taking things day by day. Some days are easier than others but there are still lots of tears even on the good days. My wife, J, has been my rock throughout this all. She's so amazing. Physically, I'm pretty much fully recovered at this point and I've been released from all the doctors' care. They still have no idea what caused the PPRoM but we have an action plan for any subsequent pregnancies. We've been given the go ahead to try again whenever we're ready (I actually have the RE referral next to me on my desk) but at this point we're not even close to that yet.
As much as I am sad and miss Hope, I'm still so grateful and happy for the few memories I have of our little girl. I miss having her in my arms more than I could ever express but we had two hours with her that no one thought we would have. It's really what keeps me going at this point.
Trying for Baby #2: 4th IUI June 2016 - BFP!
Sweet little Rose was born on Feb 25th
Baby #1: Lucky #7 July 2015 - BFP
Our little girl, Hope, was born at 20w4d after PPRoM. She passed away 2 hours after birth.