Moms of twins...

2NewMoms

Holy wow!! My b/g twins are 6w today. When does it get easier?! The constant screaming and fussiness is a bit overwhelming when taking care of them for 10hrs a day by myself and doing all the night feedings. I have help sometimes but not always. I don't like asking for help so I tend to take it all on myself. I'm truly hoping this gets easier soon...

Also, do you favor one twin over the other? My girl is so fussy I end up holding her much longer than my boy who can entertain himself. I feel bad because he spent 2w on the NICU and can entertain himself because he's used to being on his own from day 1.

blkbrd3

I don't have twins but I've heard the first year is the toughest you'll face and that it gets incrementally easier as you go along. In a nut shell this is a marathon but it gets better.

TheOtherLovingMoms

My twins are 29. Identical twin girls. For me it got easier once they started sleeping through the night.

babybaby

i don't have twins but my second daughter had a lot of digestive issues that worked themselves out over time (by the time she was around three months old).

on the subject of preference, i don't see it like that. i used to, but now i don't. my oldest daughter is very clingy, needy and loves to be held and snuggled. my youngest daughter is very independent, self-sufficient and HATES snuggles. i used to feel like the fact i spent a lot more time snuggling my oldest daughter meant that i loved her more. that's not the case. i am just parenting them the way they are asking to be parented. they are individuals, so my relationships with each of them are unique and can't be compared. now that the guilt of the relationship differences is gone, i am free to love them for exactly who they are with equal love but different relationships.

babybaby

also, i just wanted to add that there are times when my oldest daughter's clinginess feels exhausting and overwhelming. at those times i worried that she was the one i loved less. guilt and worry is just a mama thing. but it's best to try to shake it and just be easy on yourself.

2NewMoms

TheOtherLovingMoms wrote:

My twins are 29. Identical twin girls. For me it got easier once they started sleeping through the night.

I can not wait for this!! Right now they sleep between 4-6 hours. Last night they both slept 5 1/2 hours which was awesome! Usually one sleeps longer than the other, but we still have to get up to feed which is exhausting. The night feedings are hard. With one, we could do shifts but with two it's so hard - especially if they both wake up together. I know everyone says feed together but I can't do it.

CRWHNW0909

Mine are three and there are still some tough nights. The first weeks are crazy. You'll have good days, amazing days and days you want to hide in a closet.

2NewMoms

I'm going through the "hide in the closet" phase now! Haha!!

cchopeful

Our B/G twins will be 6 months old next week, and our son will be 3 years old next month.

For us there hasn't yet been a magical moment where things suddenly got easier. But it gets a little better every day. Or maybe we just get used to it!

Everyone with twins tells me the first year is the hardest, and I believe it. If I have any words of advice, don't be afraid to ask for help! From anyone who will give it and anyone who offers. (I also hate asking for help, so I know this will be hard! But our sanity depends on it!) Make and stick to a schedule or routine. Don't be ashamed of your unwashed hair or messy house. Sleep whenever you can. Try to get some alone time, even if it's just a quick trip to the grocery store. And make time for you and your spouse/partner... this is a crazy time and you really need each other!

I know you said you couldn't feed at the same time, but if there's any way you can make that happen, things will seem easier. At first I felt bad waking one up because the other was hungry, but they quickly got on the same schedule, and I really think they like hanging out together. We bought a Table For Two (Table For Two Twin Feeding System - Google it - it's awesome and worth every penny!) and they totally love chillin' out together.

Our girl is the fussy one too, so she's held a bit more. But we make a point of holding her brother as much as we can, and making sure we both get equal time with each twin. Like you, I feel guilty leaving the little buddy in his swing while I endlessly pace the floor with his sister. Just do the best you can and try not to feel guilty. You're giving your babies lots of love and that's what matters!

Good luck! It WILL get better! You can do this!!!

daniboo0904

I have G/G twins that are almost 11 months. The one that spent a few days in the NICU is wayyyyy more independent. They both seem to want to do everything on their own but 1 doesn't cling to me as much. It was horrible in the beginning. I didn't ask for much help either. I did most of it alone too. But take any help you can get! Now I live for 1 hour of peace! It does get easier. Now that they are mobile it is much easier for me. I let them play and roam while I clean, cook or do homework. Nighttime is wayyyy easier since they sleep through the night now. Hang in there it will get better!