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Wild child

ruedeodeonruedeodeon Posts: 160
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
OK OK I know that babies are wild and I know that everything is new and exciting and I also know that boys tend to be more wild and generally more crazy. BUT. How do you discipline a 9 month old? I don't want to say NO NO NO and all the havoc he wreaks but damn! I was in the store today and he literally at lightening speed knocked as many things off the shelves as he could pulling clothes off the rack and it was non stop!! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! As I picked up everything he continued to destroy! We had to leave because I was just so exhausted and over it..... Tell me how you discipline a baby. I will NOT be the mom with the problem child in the grocery running around like a bat out of hell, yet I do not want to be overly stern with a baby..... I can see that it gets harder this parenting thing. Are there any good books out there? I would consider my style to be more authoritative than anything I guess with softer edges. I want my babe to be gentle and sweet and kind and easy going.

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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    At this age it really is all redirection and praising the positive.
    Can you problem solve your shopping trip in other ways? Can you wear him in a pack? Stroller with straps and something to play with? I know when I was somewhere like target with my little one I would grab some unbrakeable toy and let her play with it while I shopped.
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    ruedeodeonruedeodeon Posts: 160
    edited November -1
    K&H that's a good idea, I usually keep him in his stroller and infant seat still, but I want him to be able to see around sometimes but wow! Today was something else haha..... And then I say no to him and feel guilty :(
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    kelleymelkelleymel Posts: 1,402 ✭
    edited November -1
    We only took E shopping in the baby backpack at that age. Now we won't take her at all lol! We too just do a lot of redirecting and praising
    TTC #1: BFP Cycle #11 IVF (2014)
    TTC #2: IVF April 2017
    BFP: FET Due February 2018
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    old mamaold mama Posts: 4,682 ✭
    edited November -1
    He is tiny but you can remain calm and look him in the face and tell him sternly no or redirect him even at this age. He will get used to it...but you know your little boy I wouldn't take an overly tired or hungry child shopping..it might take some planning. I was a strict mom because I had so many. I had 8-11children at a time and we went shopping all the time. My kids didn't make a scene..you are great determined that your little guy doesn't that's half the battle. It takes practice and we did have to leave too stores and restaurants sometimes.
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    K&HK&H Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    If saying no makes you feel guilty, don't do it. By that I do not mean let him do whatever he wants, but if you feel bad for what you are doing you won't keep it up, he will get inconsistent messages, and things will get a whole lot harder.
    When you shop, shop in a good space. Make sure you and he are not hungry or exhausted. At 9mos he should be able to sit up in a cart. By doing that he'll have to use his muscles more to hold himself up and they won't be as free and frantic as they would if he's reclined and chill in a car seat. Also he'll be able to see more and interact more. If you find yourself using the carrying car seat more than you wish, get a convertible and switch now, I bet he's plenty big enough (rear facing for years still, of course!)

    You can say things like "hands to ourselves", or "hands inside the cart", or something like that that you will remember and can say all the time. Also, if he's sitting in the cart you can use links or pacifier clips to attach toys to the cart. Then you can redirect and say something like "here's the toy you can play with" when he's reaching for something else. Stick to the middle of the aisle so he can't reach much if possible. Some people might wear a necklace that he can play with, that way it goes away and comes back as you move which is intriguing. But if you struggle with him grabbing your hair or real necklaces that you wear you probably don't want to go with that one.
    Also, a snack may do wonders. Does he eat pouches yet? Could he? If it's new to him it could be something he only gets when you do your necessary shopping and never any other time. That should help hold his interest for it. Or, I loathe to even suggest it, a snack trap. (Too many years of those to like them anymore, but some people swear by them)

    Again, think about what you are ok with. Think about what your ideal goal would be. Don't lose sight of the goal, but don't torture yourself either. It's mostly about consistency, staying calm, and helping him learn. If you say no over and over again it loses its power, it becomes noise to him. You want to stick with clear positive directions. That will help him understand what you want to see. Because before you know it he'll be 18mos and off running!
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    michelle.malottmichelle.malott Posts: 107
    edited November -1
    Oh yes, it gets harder, that's for sure! Sometimes you will feel like all you do all day is say no and redirect, it's just part of it.
    I recommend teaching him 'no' now, it will be a lot easier at this age than even in a couple months when he is more mobile and more opinionated.
    At his age just saying no and redirecting to something appropriate is about all you can do. Like old mama said, try to set him up for success by not going out hungry or tired, but even when you do all you can you will have to leave with a screaming kid sometimes. Once he gets older and can understand more, I recommend this website : http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child
    I have a strong willed little girl who likes to push me to my limit, that website gave me some techniques that really helped.
    Good luck!
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    momsquaredmomsquared Posts: 59
    edited November -1
    I will lend you my 4 year old for a day and you won't feel so bad about your wild child LMAO.
    But seriously, there are a lot of different ways to go about saying no without actually saying no or in addition to saying no. You just need to figure out what works best for you and get yourself in the habit. And no matter what method you choose you will repeat yourself 20 gazillion times :). Parenting is so much fun
    December 2016 Ages 9,7,5 & 3
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