Felt thoroughly,yet implicitly fat-shamed at NT scan today

katoo

This is going to be a long rant. I'm high risk. Over 35, overweight, pre-diabetic (which makes me automatically gd the moment I get pregnant), and hypertensive. My weight is stable, I focus on eating healthy foods and exercising. My blood sugars have been well controlled since I was first diagnosed pre-diabetic in 2011. My untreated bp is outrageous, but with treatment it's perfect, and I always take my meds, always have, always will. I had my first baby in 2014 and was all of the above with him. I developed post-partum pre-eclampsia after his birth, but my pregnancy was perfect. I did everything my OB asked me to, saw an endocrinologist weekly from second trimester on. I did every test I was told to do. My OB even told me I was one of only two diabetic patients that has ever gotten an eye exam after she requested one. The endo loved me--told me I was her model patient. My OB loved me to, except she was obsessesd with my weight. I followed the diet the endo's nutritionist put me on to a T, but after the endo took me off metformin and put me on insulin, I ended up gaining 30 pounds. Endo was totally cool with this. OB mentioned my weight gain at every single visit in the second and third tri. "You're my perfect patient, except for your weight gain!" Then she'd ask me if I was really following the diet, and really exercising as much as I said I was. (Yes, I was.) When my son was born, she held him up and exclaimed, "Oh, he's skinny!" Like it was some huge surprise, even though my blood sugars were perfect through the entire pregnancy, and we had done multiple growth scans where he consistently was 50%. She took very good care of my health issues, but the weight thing really bothered me by the end, so I switched OBs for this pregnancy. I'm also seeing a new endo, because while I really liked the last one she was old school, and wouldn't let me stay on metformin through my entire pregnancy, and I really want to stay on it. New OB and endo are in the same health system as the old ones. New OB sent me to Maternal Fetal Health for my NT scan. They did all my diagnostic scans and biophysical profiles with my son too. I loved everyone in that office until today. After the NT scan I was seen by one of the doctors who I had not previously seen. She said my OB had asked her to discuss risk factors of GD and hypertension with me. She told me to stop her if I already knew everything, but I figured it doesn't hurt to hear things again. I should have stopped her though, because it was a hardcore lecture. When she asked about my history with diabetes she seemed skeptical that I've always had my blood sugars under control. Seemed skeptical when I told her my A1Cs. Then she asked about my history of hypertension. When I told her I was diagnosed at 22, she said something like, "But you're not *that* overweight," to which I immediately told her it was definitely genetic as my father had been diagnosed as a young guy being drafted. Again, she seemed skeptical. I also told her I was taking a ton of (pregnancy-approved) meds to control it (because she asked how it was controlled.) She then assumed that I didn't want to take my meds, and started lecturing me how important it is to take my meds. I stopped her and told her that I *always* take my meds. I can't remember everything else she said, but I really felt like she automatically assumed that I am lazy and don't care for myself or my unborn child due to my weight and health conditions, when in fact I take really good care of myself because of those conditions. At multiple points during the conversation I actually wondered if she was going to ask me why I even bothered to reproduce. I kind of wish she had because my gp and even the fat-shaming OB told me I was perfectly fine to have a second baby 6 months after I had the first! If this woman had bothered to look at my file she would have seen that I see my gp quarterly for bp and A1c checks, she would have seen that my first call after learning I was pregnant was to the endo so I could maintain my perfect blood sugar control from the get-go. Arg. She made me feel awful about my well monitored and controlled health issues. She made me feel awful and selfish for gestating another human. And she's just one of many doctors over the years who has automatically assumed that I don't take good care of myself. The hospital system I use loves to survey me. I really hope they survey me about this visit.

merilung

F*ck ALL that noise. It sounds like you are doing an excellent job taking care of yourself. It's so, so gross how much fat shaming there is in the medical community where folks SHOULD know better. I'm sorry that happened to you.

old mama

Blast them hard on the survey. In fact write a letter of complaint. A few yrs. back I was TTC. I had awful jaw pain..later found it was broken tooth roots..but went to ER to see if I could get some pain relief. Hosp. of course had to do a pg test before they could treat me. I could hear the bitchy nurses at the nurses station clucking about me TTC at my age..it was bad...then the lab yelled down the hall to the dr. that my test was negative...I really thought I was pg...I was totally humiliated and devastated. I wrote to the hospital to the director of nursing. Not using my name he presented my letter to the hospital board. My local GP was at the mtg. asked me later if it was me and what happened...he told me the board was angry. He said staff was disciplined. I have been to the hospital many times since then for my children and myself and I can see changes that were made. Just don't sit back and boil and take it. These are service industries. You deserved to be treated with respect. As much as I am hoping for a bfp I am dreading having to deal with OBs..with my age, weight and medical history.

ahk00

I am sorry that is awful. Please try not to stress over it. I feel like as long as you know you are taking care of yourself and the Dr's that matter know who cares what the f she says. Keep your head up and keep taking care of you just the way you are!

kstarr

old mama is right. these are service industries and their business depends on their patients. don't wait for the survey. and good for you for taking care of your health. some people don't do half as much as you do with those conditions. keep it up!

flashpacker

argh. All that is so insensitive of them. I definitely had lots of experiences of being talked down to etc. It's no fun. I switched to a different practice that was marginally better. Any of the times I stood up for myself I was pleased I did. A few times I didn't and regretted it, but when pregnant it's hard to have the energy to always be assertive in standing up for your right to be treated well. Hope you have better experiences going forward.