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Question for the 2 mommy households

Sbs1988Sbs1988 Posts: 6
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
So we just got our first BFP and I’m almost 6 weeks along now! We did at home ICI, which I’ve heard means that you have to go through some extra custody stuff for the mommy that’s not carrying. I was hoping someone could give me some information on the process. I’m not sure if it varies from state to state, but I’m in North Carolina.

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    SPJ&ESPJ&E Posts: 874 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    There was nothing extra involved for us. We used a known donor who shipped to
    us. We are in VA and were/are married. My wife went directly on our daughter's birth certificate and is her legal parent. We can still do a stepparent adoption if we feel the need to, but currently do not plan to.

    We used NW to conceive our now 6 year old son. Marriage was not legally at that time, so my wife was not able to go on his birth certificate at birth. Once it became legal, we got married and completed a stepparent adoption. We just needed the receipt from our vial purchase, along with the form the donor signs terminating rights (just the form, no signatures)...both of which NW will email you. The adoption itself was easy/simple, but we did use an attorney just to be sure everything was done correctly.
    Mom to P (13), J (11), E (6), and Q (born December 2017)
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    palegreenpalegreen Posts: 1,478
    edited November -1
    We are in NC as well. While you and your partner may both be listed on the birth certificate, that does not guarantee the non-bio parent rights if it were contested (no genetic link to baby). Stepparent adoption is the only way to guarantee rights as the non GP. We still have to adopt each of ours. I have the paperwork, I just need to meet with the family clerk of courts and verify we have everything in order to file it.

    We had both of ours before it was legal, but even if we had more kiddos after getting married, we would still do stepparent adoption.
    sig2017_zpsneeoat7k.jpg
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    Sbs1988Sbs1988 Posts: 6
    edited November -1
    Thanks for the information!
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    b&kmakebabiesb&kmakebabies Posts: 818
    edited November -1
    We live in VA, are married, and both on birth certificate. We still did the step parent adoption. I think it was $750. Well worth it! The process was super easy.
    Cnc9m5.png

    TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!
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    syoung0204syoung0204 Posts: 504
    edited November -1
    I was added to our 2014 baby's birth certificate after marriage equality was passed through a birth certificate amendment and was put on my 2017 baby's birth certificate in hospital. I don't have any plans of doing a second parent adoption because I can't imagine any scenario where it would be contested and if it was contested, I take that as a good opportunity to challenge the courts and pave the way for better defined non-bio same sex parent laws.
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