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Potty training advice?

2texasmoms2texasmoms Posts: 299 ✭✭
edited November -1 in Parenting and Life
Teddy will be 3 in February and is not even close to potty trained. Fortunately, daycare is allowing him to move up to preschool when he turns 3 even though he's not trained, and I think that will help--going from a toddler class where he's one of the oldest and hardly anyone else is potty trained, to a preschool class where he's one of the youngest and all the other kids are potty trained.

He sometimes likes to sit on the potty, and I know they have him "try" at daycare and he's peed in the potty a few times--but mostly by coincidence. We have him "try" at home, too, but only when he asks or shows interest. I'm reluctant to force it on him. The other day he asked us to put him in underwear and then called, "I have to go potty!" but he had already peed on the floor. Seems like he still can't identify the feeling of "need to go, need to get to the potty" but only recognizes it after he's already gone.

Any tips or advice? We tried the 3-day method over the summer and it did not go well at all.

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    stwrrstwrr Posts: 455 ✭✭
    edited December 2015
    Our kiddo was.. oh... 3.5 by the time I'd say she was potty trained. From 2.5-3.5 she'd go on the potty sometimes, or realize she needed to right AFTER peeing in her pants. The signal of "oh my gosh I have to pee!" kept coming earlier and earlier though, thank goodness, so at first it was while she was peeing, then a moment before (too fast to get to a potty), then 10 seconds before and she'd pee while she was wildly fleeing across the house toward the potty, then 30 seconds before (phew!), then we were at the stage where we just had to be careful on outtings, keeping an extra pair of pants and underwear in the car all the time.

    The things that helped, though? Letting her go at her own pace. She was/is also very fastidious, and doesn't LIKE being wet at all, and wanted to be like the big kids and wear underwear and not diapers, so she was self-motivated, if that makes sense. Also, when she was still figuring out how to GO on the potty, vs just sit on it, we were at a friends' with a slightly older and further along in potty training child, and I asked that parent if my child could watch her child go potty (a weird request, I know!). But once my kiddo saw another kid do it ALL BY HERSELF, she desperately wanted to too, and started sitting on the potty and going and wiping and getting her pants back on all by herself, too. Which was AWESOME.

    She's just over 4 now, and has had one accident in six months. I don't even have to prompt her anymore, except before trips that'll take us to a store or a checkout line or something super fun she'll not want to tear herself away from long enough to go potty.

    Night potty training on the other hand... that's a whole 'nother thing. :)

    But the point of all that? It sounds to me like he's making perfect progress. And you're right about being in the classroom with the older kids. That helped a lot for mine -- peer motivation I guess. Wanting to be like the others.

    I hear those moms who had their kids perfectly potty trained at 10 months, and just want to shake them a little. Like... good for you! Yey! Really. But it always made me feel bad about my own's progress, you know? Don't feel bad about how far yours is coming -- he's right on target based on MY experience, and especially for a first kid. Second kids, I hear, potty train sooner because they have a role model. But.. take the pressure off yourself, you know? He's doing great. :)

    And it's a glorious, delightful thing the first time the potty flushes mysteriously all by itself and your child's voice rings out, "Mommy, I went potty!!". It'll happen.

    ~ Sandy
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    michgirlmichgirl Posts: 406 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    The year my boys were 2 1/2, they got potty watches in their Easter baskets. Best purchase EVER!! They were going on their own with no accidents in about two weeks.
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    momsquaredmomsquared Posts: 59
    edited November -1
    When we felt our kiddos were pretty much ready but needed that final boost we just had to suck it up, ditch the diapers completely, do a few days at home bare bottomed and then move into underwear when they start getting it. It sucks and it's messy but it works the fastest.
    December 2016 Ages 9,7,5 & 3
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    emlklg444emlklg444 Posts: 645
    edited November -1
    No advice, as we have yet to begin formal potty training... Our daughter is 2yrs 3months....and I have a question. What 3 day method did you try? We are about to try it ourselves based on the book written by Jamie Glowacki (Oh Crap! Potty Training)....anyway I'm trying to keep my expectations low, because I haven't heard of many toddlers being successful with the 3 day method....though the author does point out the 3 days is just a ballpark guesstimate & most kids take a few weeks for total success. Thanks!
    1st daughter born 9/26/2013 (bfp 2nd attempt at home ICI)
    2nd daughter born 3/8/2016 (bfp after 7 attempts at home ICI, 2 miscarriages, 1 D&C)
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    2texasmoms2texasmoms Posts: 299 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm not sure who wrote our 3-day method book; the info was passed along to me by a friend who used it with her twins. I'll have to see if I can find the info with the pamphlet. Basically, the premise was spend 3 days locked in the house with your kid, eyes on him/her at all times, watching for "signals" they have to go. They should be wearing underwear but no pants. Rush to the potty as soon as they start to go. The author insisted that by the end of three days most kids would get it. The nurse practitioner at our pedi (who the pedi himself referred to as a "drill sergeant" when it come to potty training...lol) also told us to try this way. Teddy was just NOT ready and it only resulted in him getting upset.

    We are moving on trying some cloth training pants as he moves up to preschool on Feb. 1. I like his toddler teacher, but her methods of having him "try" by sitting on the potty for 45 minutes at a time are just not working either. He had his soon-to-be-preschool teacher before she moved up from toddlers, and I'm confident she will help get him there, as well as being with all "big kids" who all use the potty. Right now he still is just really showing no interest whatsoever. Blergh.
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    fischfisch Posts: 570 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Our son was like this. His birthday is February 1. He started a preschool that required potty training. So two weeks before I stayed home with him and we had a potty boot camp. Imagine my surprise and frustration when it didn't work.
    We started school anyway in January. In underwear...and hoped for the best. The month of January he came home with a grocery bag of wet clothes almost everyday. Then it gradually stopped, twice a week, once a week, and then done. They were patient, burn persistent, and kind. They were not momma and mommy.

    We wanted this done before his sister was born, due in a few months. A good school and teachers, know what to do. Watching other kids helps. It seems you already know this. Our son was not interested. He liked his pull ups and did not want to change. Honestly he still waits till the last minute and thinks going to the bathroom is a waste of his precious time. Later, when he's older, you will look back and understand how much of this is his little personality.
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    2texasmoms2texasmoms Posts: 299 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    fisch wrote:
    Our son was like this. His birthday is February 1. He started a preschool that required potty training. So two weeks before I stayed home with him and we had a potty boot camp. Imagine my surprise and frustration when it didn't work.
    We started school anyway in January. In underwear...and hoped for the best. The month of January he came home with a grocery bag of wet clothes almost everyday. Then it gradually stopped, twice a week, once a week, and then done. They were patient, burn persistent, and kind. They were not momma and mommy.

    We wanted this done before his sister was born, due in a few months. A good school and teachers, know what to do. Watching other kids helps. It seems you already know this. Our son was not interested. He liked his pull ups and did not want to change. Honestly he still waits till the last minute and thinks going to the bathroom is a waste of his precious time. Later, when he's older, you will look back and understand how much of this is his little personality.

    This makes me feel so much better...thanks! Yes, I'm hoping that sending him to preschool in cloth "training underwear" will help. They should at least contain accidents so he's not making puddles on the floor, and then my hope is that, as with your son, he will gradually learn. He also hates stopping what he's doing to go sit on the potty; he's the same way with diaper changes, too! "I don't want my diaper changed, I'm playing now." Kid, you stink! Time for a new diaper! LOL :)
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    MNmommasMNmommas Posts: 1,081
    edited November -1
    If it makes you feel any better, our 3!!! year old is so. not. interested. She's been "able" to by the time she was 11 months - she would pee and poop on demand and we were only using diapers (cloth) at sleep times. But then her brother was born and we were too busy (or tired, really) to watch for her signals, and now she just doesn't care. We're bootcamping during this long weekend (MLK Jr Day on Monday) and I'm probably going to need to buy some M&Ms, which is not how I envisioned this all going down. But I'm ready to go the bribes (ahem, "rewards") route if that's what it'll take.

    2 year old brother, on the other hand, is a potty rockstar.
    Donor 7070, births 2012 & 2013
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    palegreenpalegreen Posts: 1,478
    edited November -1
    Have you thought about trying the 3 day "bootcamp" again? We had success with both of our kiddos using that method at 2 years, 3 months with our oldest and at 23 months with our youngest. (If anyone wants a copy, shoot me your email address and I'll forward it to you.) And M&M's are an awesome incentive! We used them both times (our kids don't get to eat candy often) and I really think they helped immensely!
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    MNmommasMNmommas Posts: 1,081
    edited November -1
    palegreen wrote:
    (If anyone wants a copy, shoot me your email address and I'll forward it to you.)

    Yes, please! Emailing you now.
    Donor 7070, births 2012 & 2013
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    palegreenpalegreen Posts: 1,478
    edited November -1
    MNmommas....Sent!
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    melmel Posts: 793
    edited November -1
    My life when my kids were toddlers was so busy that I just refused to add any more stress with something like potty training. I put out little potties, talked about it a lot, and the kids started using them on their own when they were ready. It was 2.5 or so with the girls and after 3 with my son. They did work with them at daycare, but we were chill about it at home until it was obvious they were ready and willing. They won't go to kindergarten in diapers, you know?

    I do think moving up and seeing all the other kids going will help. My mom swears that is what helped me potty train when I was young. It's all about the preschool peer pressure! ;)
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    che_aramiche_arami Posts: 787
    edited November -1
    I love that plan of just putting the potties out there and letting them lead the way. at what age did you stick them out there?
    got our miracle BFP on first IVF after 3 years TTC. DS born may 20, 2015 after emergency cesarean. all are doing well and trying to figure out this new journey!!
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    emlklg444emlklg444 Posts: 645
    edited November -1
    We started a "3 day" potty training method this week... going mostly by the book we found highly recommended (oh crap potty training by jamie glowacki)... and I'm surprised to say that after 4 days our daughter (she's 2yrs 3months) is actually doing well. The book doesn't actually swear by a 3 day method, it states clearly that most kids will take about a month to completely potty train.
    Our daughter now recognizes when she needs to pee and gets herself to the potty in time, manages her pants, and can wipe herself with minimal assistance. Today we were even successful with a large poop & she was ecstatic about it! We take her potty chair with us on small outings and yesterday she used it successfully (in our subaru outback, the hatchback works great as a toddler bathroom) & her pants stayed dry. today we tried to stay out a bit longer & she wet her pants even though we had just attempted the potty a few minutes prior, we were already driving when she said "pee pee!" again. ugh. So it's one step forward one step back. But, it's only been 4 days and she's actually getting it. The main thing the book stresses is 2 full days of staying home, toddler going naked (no lower body clothing) on day 1, then if all goes well & the chid at least recognizes when he/she needs to pee, you have them go commando on day 2 with easy to manage pants but no training pants or underwear... this apparently erases any muscle memory the chid has of diapers... and underwear still feels like a diaper. Also, it feels pretty gross to have an accident with no underwear, it trickles down the legs & really makes the child aware that something is not right. So, Im sure this would not be possible to do if your child were in day care... I'd assume for hygiene reasons. We're lucky right now our daughter is not in day care & we're able to devote some time to this. After about a month of going commando & no more accidents, then we'll introduce panties. We're still in diapers for naps & overnight...that is another hurdle we'll attempt once she is fully day time potty trained. But, amazingly, this method seems to be working.
    1st daughter born 9/26/2013 (bfp 2nd attempt at home ICI)
    2nd daughter born 3/8/2016 (bfp after 7 attempts at home ICI, 2 miscarriages, 1 D&C)
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    age 39 K8qxm7.png
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