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For everyone......

tellytelly Posts: 625
edited November -1 in Pregnancy and Babies
I feel like if you cant say something nice, or be respectful with your disagreements than keep your comments to yourself. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you
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Comments

  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    That sounds great in theory but because this is a forum tone is not known. So people can take things the wrong way--a way in which they were not intended. I know exactly why you are making this comment (or at least I think I do). But I think those of us in similar job positions or have loved one's in the field, somethings seem not plausible in regards to where we live. Really we don't even have Sheriff's in CT--I never even thought any existed--I thought they only had them in old Western films. We have specific laws and there is not a PD here that would ever be responsible for keeping a pregnant officer on the road--imagine if the unthinkable happened? My wife is in tip top shape, she is an awesome shot and she takes down people who are 3 times her size--and she is maybe 110lbs. There is no way she could be as efficient very pregnant--really she gets kicked and hit all the time. I do wish you the best and I hope you have a great pregnancy!!
  • allthingsluckyallthingslucky Posts: 467
    edited November -1
    I agree with LK. I know several law enforcement officers and have several in my family. I have never heard of them allowing you to patrol once they find out your pregnant. Unless you are something like a community service officer or something like that. Furthermore, I can not even begin to fathom why on God's green earth someone who is a police officer and is pregnant would ever go to work without their vest on. You never know when your going to need it. Personally, I would never risk my life or my child's life for a job I love. Patrolling and responding to calls while pregnant sounds crazy to me. I kind of see it like, would you take your child along with you once it's born? I would hope the answer is no. It's not safe. Idk, I guess we are all having such a hard time believing this bacause it's like the elusive unicorn or something. You swear its real, but nobody else has ever seen it. KWIM?
  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    Yes for that reason And @Lk that is understandable. But some women can. And i havent gotten into any scuffles or fights since being pregnant and no one at my job is over protective or feel unprotective when i work with them and thats how i like it. i understand many things but in my state if your boss takes you out of work because of being pregnant that is discriminating. if i can still do my job with no problems than why take me out when i dont want to. But i do understand why people wouldnt want a pregnant women working as an officer. I did my research before trying to get pregnant. i think ill know when its time to go light duty and right now isnt. But thanks for bein undestanding and respectful
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  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    @allthingslucky i am human and being a family member a friend or wife of one doesnt make you the officer itself. look up nclabor.com. Also our departments policy is you work your position until doctor says so or you request. anybody want to speak to my sheriff you are more than welcome. Plus not only do the state law consider firing or moving someone is discrimination. Our department policy states the same. people think all we do is fight and have shootouts all the time but nope i been working for two years and had to mace one person. I answer non emergency calls and do traffic stops and im happy and feel fine. And so does everyone else around me. But there is the website for nc labor laws and we do not post our dept policy laws but ill be happy to email anyone a copy. because one thing i dont do is lie and i will be an excellent mother. My choice is to work til me and doc feel uncomfortable.
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  • allthingsluckyallthingslucky Posts: 467
    edited November -1
    I understand that I am not an officer, but that does not mean I am incapable of understand job specifications. I guess in my head a police officer is who you call when you dial 911. Maybe you’re lucky to live in a town like Mayberry where crime is non-existent. Where I live community service officers respond to non-emergencies. Actually I take that back. One time a kitten was stuck in a drain and we called the non-emergency line and we had a patrol officer respond. I understand that is discrimination if they fire you for being pregnant, which they can't do. But as long as you don't lose your job... idk? Anyway, I'm just saying, I'm glad that you have it so easy being a police officer, I'm sure that the women that actually have to risk their lives daily responding to real emergencies would like the break you've clearly been given.
  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    writing on forums can easily make someone misinterpret things and that is whats going on. depts are not all the same and they have their own policy rules. States have different laws. and i know both state and my departments .
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  • SpokanemommySpokanemommy Posts: 1
    edited February 2012
    Not getting involved in the argument but I think Mayberry is a reference to the Andy Griffith show...Not an actual town in the US but a fictional town on Nick at Night, where the worst crime was getting cats out trees or issuing parking tickets.
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  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    lol i cant believe it. But o ok i get it now. This is hilarious.
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  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    Sorry for the drama but for some of us it hits near and dear to some of our hearts. Really Telly if you make a comparable amount of money to my wife, we need to move there so she can be clearly in a much safer position. Personally, I can carless about your grammar and/or spelling. I am a high school English teacher, so when I am on a forum I don't want to think about red inking someone's post or someone red inking my reply. If I start writing "gleet speak" that's my prerogative. My wife writes in police jargon even if she is writing in a Valentine's card for me (among other non--police things) that's what happens after almost 19 years!!
  • babybabybabybaby Posts: 1,564
    edited November -1
    i hadn't read the prior post until just now (because it doesn't apply to me), but i just read it because of the drama going down on this post. really, i don't know a lot about telly, but i didn't see anything in her prior post that seemed inflamatory until others began raving against her. her end of the drama was reactionary, not inciting.

    i agree with what annerbones said regarding some of us having seen what appear to be "made-up" stories on this forum before, and that it makes it difficult to trust those who appear to be making things up, but to disregard somebody on the basis of one or two of their stories conflicting? that just doesn't seem like enough to me. i just caught myself in a conflicting story situation recently. i posted in zen's topic of private schools, stating that i don't think i ever really struggled with being put in private school at 4 years old. i remembered after posting that, that i had said something completely different in another post -- that i did feel i struggled as a result of being put in private schools at 4. maybe both are true. maybe at times i felt i struggled, and at other times i didn't. someone could look at those two stories and say that i am full of b.s., but they'd be wrong to assume that, because the truth is, i did go to private schools at 4 and i can refer them to the schools i went to, if they'd like. it boils down to me being the kind of person who can feel more than one emotion about the same situation and sometimes even at the same time! some people are just like that. also, some people's lives are more complicated and/or intricate than others. if the situations don't make sense to you, just ask them!

    my point is, i think it's wrong to just assume that people are automatically manipulative or whatever just because you find inconsistencies in their stories. if you doubt them, ask them personally. give them that dignity and respect. i have been guilty of assuming the worst about people due to inconsistencies in their stories myself. we're all on here for one reason: we love our kids. nobody is here with malicious intentions. peace!
  • babybabybabybaby Posts: 1,564
    edited November -1
    i feel particularly sensitive about this topic (the topic of skepticism) because of the fact that my life is difficult for a lot of people to grasp, reading like a novel at times, and i've been questioned about it all my life by skeptics. just because something doesn't make sense to you according to what you know doesn't mean it's not true. that's all i'm saying.
  • lvillelville Posts: 376
    edited November -1
    Ugh. This has gotten ugly hasn't it? I understand how Telly could feel attacked regarding some initial off-topic comments made towards her on the other thread and obviously on this one. Yet when we put ourselves out there...and every time we post we do this...we are a moving target for a differing opinion and judgement.

    I guilty of judging, being nasty, rude, ignorant and unkind on here. No one is perfect. But we can learn and try to do better next time....soooooooo how bout we all drop this and move on to baby related topics? :-) fingers crossed! (ok target is ready for fire!)
  • lvillelville Posts: 376
    edited November -1
    Ps- I was interested in the initial topic of dangerous jobs, as I work with kids in a treatment facility, who get violent at times. So far I have steered clear of any outbursts from the kids and my boss is fine with me doing that and letting other staff do the managing.

    I would prefer light duty in the line of danger. And in the world of officers, traffic stops are very dangerous....as you do not know if the person has a weapon, etc. Anyhow, just my take on the topic. :-)
  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    i want to be on full duty because i want to. GOD is the only one who can judge me. And all those 10 people didnt want drama so the never responded. Its ok to speak your mind but disrespecting is never ok. Children do mess like that. I am a grown woman and can do what i want. And that is how i feel. its not you or somebody close to it. And there is not a high crime rate in my area. We dont have fightings and shootings everyday nor every weekend. We have one fast food place in my county and two clubs and which they dont shoot or fight all the time. Sorry my county (northampton county) does not have a high crime rate but i dont have to lie about anything. well i you ladies enjoy your day :)
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  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    Telly, I would bet you are a grown woman, and of course you can do what you want--the thing is it's not just about you anymore. When you are pregnant you are not priority number one anymore, your baby is. Does your unborn child want to be assaulted, bounced around, get affected by the surge of your adrenaline because you go on a dangerous call etc.? You cannot answer that so is it fair to that child? All sorts of people make claims they are in dangerous jobs, and relatively speaking they are but police officers are walking targets. My wife is taught to "shoot to kill" NEVER to injure. My wife is taught to shoot first, answer questions later. In mass people situations her job requires her to become a police officer even if she is doing a civilian activity with her family in a totally different state. She is and always will be a first responder. There are not many other professions that require you to still be in work mode when you are not working. So when people trivialize the job of a police officer it pisses me off because my wife goes to work everyday with basically a target on her back (ok her front--her badge)

    I can carless what people here think, although I do get sick of the dumbness of a lot of people. People hate me because I live (what they consider a very charmed life). I make no apologies and if you know your truthful, neither should you. "I know I'm bad as long as I know I'm bad" Eminem. Sorry had to quote him--he is my motivation today!!
  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited November -1
    Oh and no God is not the only one who will judge you--you brought this to this forum and because it's public you will get judged--right or wrong. If you are on patrol all pregnant you can bet your $ss you will get judged by everyone who sees you. It's your job and possibly your kid--I hope you can sleep at night with your decisions!!
  • CRWHNW0909CRWHNW0909 Posts: 599
    edited November -1
    What I don't understand is how your not putting your child first. Do you really think getting in a scuffle as you say you have gotten into is worth your babys safety? I believe LK said it (sorry for using you hon) but, you are no longer the priority, your baby is. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I would have requesting light duty being in your line of work. I don't care what rinky dinky town your from, everyone has crazies! They don't say "oh your pregnant, you have a protective shield." If anything, you'd be an easy target. Now if you told us you were a security guard at let's say Macy's, I just might believe you. I'm not trying to pick on you but, it baffle's me and many others as to how your vest is fitted for a pregnant body. They don't make you get a bigger size because it doesn't fit prpoerly at that point.
    04/11/2011=BFN 06/08/2011=BFN 07/05/2011=BFN 11/25/2011=BFP!!
    Beta 1: 2,489 Beta 2: 5,603 TWINS!!
  • hopingforbabymchopingforbabymc Posts: 140
    edited February 2012
    I asked my husband, who has been a police officer for years to read this thread to see what he would think. His initial reaction was just like what most people here have already expressed. You being pregnant and on full duty is a huge liability and any department with any kind of sense would not let you continue. Not only that, but if you aren't carrying a gun or wearing a vest, why even bother with the duty belt? Mace is a joke and in most (if not all) cases, they are taught that mace often escalates the situation, rather than helping. Are you willing to say with complete certainty that if you need to be in a scuffle that you can handle yourself? If you think you are going to call for backup and have other deputies handle it, then you technically cannot handle what the job entails. He says he'd also be willing to bet that most if not all of the people on your shift think it's a joke that you're showing up without a protective vest or a gun, and that the only reason they're still allowing it is because they think you'll sue them. This is also a liability too because it lowers moral for the shift and for you inparticular if you need speedy backup.

    I would think that above all else that you'd value the life of your baby the most. We've been trying for years and I'd do everything within my power to keep my baby safe if we were ever to be sucessful. I would not be taking that life for granted.
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  • Klt86Klt86 Posts: 567
    edited November -1
    I figured as much lol. I'm lazy when I post sometimes I'm sure but text speak and words like whateva, using a z where an s goes, things like that make it hard for me to take whats being said seriously.
  • ninefireflyninefirefly Posts: 137
    edited November -1
    I just want to point out that it's not against the law to put an employee on light duty if there is a reasonable chance of the mother being unable to perform their job to its full extent. It's against the law to fire a pregnant employee but resticting their duty, as long as you don't cut pay and benefits, is perfectly legal. Just a point of fact.
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  • EMG_RELEMG_REL Posts: 2,379
    edited November -1
    I was just wondering when we would have some good old drama around here again. Thanks for the entertainment, ladies! Heather, you are hilarious. High fives to all of the grammar appreciators. :)
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  • LKLK Posts: 711
    edited February 2012
    I'm sure many think this is just beyond stupid, but many of us are officers, married to officers or great friends with officers. They put their life on the line every single day, so we do not take it lightly when someone falsely portrays themselves as a true officer when in reality they are a courthouse deputy. There is nothing wrong with you job whatsoever, it's just not a true police officer. So I really hope you can understand where we are coming from. Take it for what it's worth cuz that's how we's roll round theze partz! (just bein stupid, yo)
  • beyondobsessedbeyondobsessed Posts: 804
    edited November -1
    Heather ~ I KNEW I remembered reading that post before! When I was reading the "dangerous jobs" post, I kept thinking "but isn't she a courtroom officer? What's she talking about?" But then I figured I was just remembering someone else's post and had them confused.
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  • ZenZen Posts: 2,942
    edited November -1
    First of all, I think it's very rude to have a heated debate in the middle of the day when I'm at work. Or on a night when I have meetings and cannot be online to take part!

    Second: is all this really about a cop wanting to continue field work past the first trimester? I think I saw this episode. The whole season really. In Plain Sight. Anyone know when it's coming back? I don't necessarily want to see Mary stay with the baby's father, but I would like her to raise it herself and not go the adoption route!

    And third: if I had an employee in a position where I (or my company) could be liable for their injury, I'd take them out of harm's way. I might not be able to put them on light duty or force a position change. But I could manipulate assignments without getting nailed with a discrimination suit. And have!
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  • K&HK&H Posts: 3,368
    edited November -1
    Zen! Way to say it! Wtf, people?! Don't you know Thursdays are heavy meeting days and people just can't stalk the boards as easily?? Save it for the weekend when everyone needs a little spice!
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  • annerbonesannerbones Posts: 1,812
    edited November -1
    LOL! K&H and Zen you guys are hilarious. How horrible of this to all go down on a Thursday.
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    Progesterone therapy and baby aspirin daily

    Two miscarriages in between (August 2012 - same donor as Maggie, and December 2014 with husband)
    Maggie
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  • ChrysanthemumChrysanthemum Posts: 1,205
    edited November -1
    annerbones wrote:
    LOL! K&H and Zen you guys are hilarious. How horrible of this to all go down on a Thursday.
    I agree, I missed it all.
    Heather, it does make you wonder....
  • FlowergirlFlowergirl Posts: 2,040
    edited November -1
    This has been making me think of a website I used to go to a lot, back when we were considering adoption. Like this one, it was a public forum and it was very easy to post - there were tons of freaks on there!!! There were constantly people that came on there, made a random username and posted as any number of personalities. Several times creepo guys made profiles and pretend to be pregnant, because they were turned on by women discussing pregnancy, especially symptoms, with them - gross I know, but it happened many times!!! It didn't take long though, to be able to pick out the 'real' people and the 'fake' ones. There were just a few things that were always red flags - one was obviously stories not jiving (that website didn't support tickers, so one of the big ones there was "forgetting" how far along they were!!), another was never having any legitimate real life evidence to back their "online person" - unrealistic stories and problems, no sonogram pictures, etc.... In my time here, I have only strongly felt this way about 2 different people... I am still very confident that I have been right about both of them! :/

    Anyway... sad as it may be - this drama gave me something to help my day pass quicker!! The past couple of days have kind of been dragging by, so this was fun :P Thanks again, Heather for making me laugh!!!
    After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

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  • tellytelly Posts: 625
    edited November -1
    Just because i use slang terms does not make me ignorant at all. That is my subculture. 2nd a Cop can be used as a slang in UK but this is the US. But as i was taught in school the original meaning was constable on patrol but now it means community oriented policing. So make sure before you talk about the way i spell and the words i use making me ignorant because im far from that! thank you
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  • charcoaleyescharcoaleyes Posts: 864
    edited November -1
    As a defense attorney, I see plenty of police reports full of crap writing. Just saying....

    And, not every department requires a degree. NYPD you only need a high school diploma. Madison, WI they want a 4 year degree and have quite a few PD with law degrees.

    Heather -- you crack me up
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