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How and when you met your partner
A&J
Posts: 1,825
Just for fun if anyone would care to share:-). How and when did you meet/ start dating?
My DP has been working out of town for the week, so I'm thinking of her a lot--not to mention our big five year anniversary is approaching in just a few days. It's amazing how in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday that we met, while at the same time I swear we've known, loved, and been together forever. So, weird how this can be.
Just a bit about how we met-- I moved to Wa in 2001 and met an amazing friend at work. We clicked instantly. Anyway, over the years through random stories about her childhood, teen years, college, she often mentioned her great friend Anna (Anna is originally from Wa, but was living in MI during the first 6 years I was in Wa). So, I heard a lot about this Anna person, but never met her. Well, that is until a bunch of random circumstances brought us together at our mutual friends'cabin. I'll spare you the details, but will just cut to it and say that I was sitting on the deck, heard the doorbell ring, followed my friend to the door, and when she opened it there was this Anna person that I had been hearing about over the past 6 years. We made eye contact and I swear it was a feeling of instant recognition. She hadn't been planning to stay long, but that changed quickly;-). We ended up spending that entire night completely engrossed in conversation. There were many other people that showed up at this get together, but I couldn't tell you anything about them. To me it was just the two of us. I swear we started talking and never stopped. I didn't see her the following day, and knew she was only in town for 10 more days, so I made it a point to make certain that we would bump into one another as soon as possible. Sure enough we did. We spent another night talking, laughing, and drinking wine into the wee hours. After this second night I knew something amazing was happening, but still thought this was totally crazy and couldn't be happening. I was totally falling for a woman I had met just three days before-- no way! At the same time I trusted my instincts and all of the emotions I was so overcome with and just went for it in conversation. The third night we spent together we started talking about how we were both feeling and what to do about it. OMG! We still laugh about how crazy we were/ are, but how it was the the thing that made the most sense to both of us then and now. So, within three weeks Anna was booking plane tickets to MI and renting a U- Haul so we could move her out to Wa. Another crazy piece to all of this is that at this time my DP had recently finished her Doctorate and had secured a position as a professor which was following her intended career path/ passion. Well, she walked away from this position. Wow, I still can't believe she did this, seriously;-) Neither of us had ever felt this way about anyone or had ever acted so quickly. I know it sounds cheesey or what have you, but it really was magical. The instant connection, excitement, and desire to be with and know this person. The best thing for us is that this is all still here and then some. Anna is my best friend, mother of my child, and someone I want to continue to explore life with and get to know everyday. Before the day we met I definitely believed in love, but not love at first sight. I just feel really lucky to be so blessed with such a strong loving relationship.
Oh, and I just wanted to add that whenever things are a bit rough or tough we always talk about or recall how and when we met and remind ourselves we truly are blessed. Sometimes it's nice to think back to those early days, months, years and see where we were and how far we've come.
Ok, I need to hear some of your stories:-).
My DP has been working out of town for the week, so I'm thinking of her a lot--not to mention our big five year anniversary is approaching in just a few days. It's amazing how in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday that we met, while at the same time I swear we've known, loved, and been together forever. So, weird how this can be.
Just a bit about how we met-- I moved to Wa in 2001 and met an amazing friend at work. We clicked instantly. Anyway, over the years through random stories about her childhood, teen years, college, she often mentioned her great friend Anna (Anna is originally from Wa, but was living in MI during the first 6 years I was in Wa). So, I heard a lot about this Anna person, but never met her. Well, that is until a bunch of random circumstances brought us together at our mutual friends'cabin. I'll spare you the details, but will just cut to it and say that I was sitting on the deck, heard the doorbell ring, followed my friend to the door, and when she opened it there was this Anna person that I had been hearing about over the past 6 years. We made eye contact and I swear it was a feeling of instant recognition. She hadn't been planning to stay long, but that changed quickly;-). We ended up spending that entire night completely engrossed in conversation. There were many other people that showed up at this get together, but I couldn't tell you anything about them. To me it was just the two of us. I swear we started talking and never stopped. I didn't see her the following day, and knew she was only in town for 10 more days, so I made it a point to make certain that we would bump into one another as soon as possible. Sure enough we did. We spent another night talking, laughing, and drinking wine into the wee hours. After this second night I knew something amazing was happening, but still thought this was totally crazy and couldn't be happening. I was totally falling for a woman I had met just three days before-- no way! At the same time I trusted my instincts and all of the emotions I was so overcome with and just went for it in conversation. The third night we spent together we started talking about how we were both feeling and what to do about it. OMG! We still laugh about how crazy we were/ are, but how it was the the thing that made the most sense to both of us then and now. So, within three weeks Anna was booking plane tickets to MI and renting a U- Haul so we could move her out to Wa. Another crazy piece to all of this is that at this time my DP had recently finished her Doctorate and had secured a position as a professor which was following her intended career path/ passion. Well, she walked away from this position. Wow, I still can't believe she did this, seriously;-) Neither of us had ever felt this way about anyone or had ever acted so quickly. I know it sounds cheesey or what have you, but it really was magical. The instant connection, excitement, and desire to be with and know this person. The best thing for us is that this is all still here and then some. Anna is my best friend, mother of my child, and someone I want to continue to explore life with and get to know everyday. Before the day we met I definitely believed in love, but not love at first sight. I just feel really lucky to be so blessed with such a strong loving relationship.
Oh, and I just wanted to add that whenever things are a bit rough or tough we always talk about or recall how and when we met and remind ourselves we truly are blessed. Sometimes it's nice to think back to those early days, months, years and see where we were and how far we've come.
Ok, I need to hear some of your stories:-).
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That is our running joke. We actually met through an online dating site over 7 yrs ago.
He was a grocery store manager I was a nurse. After about a yr we mover together to the US, then a year after that we got married. We are about to have our 5 yr wedding anniversary.
The first 18 months he was still chatting online and texting this girl when I finally threatened to dump him he got his act together, stopped talking to her, and things got SO much better, within a few months he realized what his priorities were and proposed...
I am so excited to see what a great dad he is going to be.
Congrats on your five year anniversaries! We don't celebrate one because we can't figure out when to make it. If we say November 2009, it disregards our five years between 2001-2006, but if we say June 2001, it disregards the important time that we spent apart. Anyway, that's our story.
ETA: I don't usually do this and will probably take it down in a few days for privacy reasons, but I'm inclined to attach a picture of us. This was taken last weekend at a friend's wedding. She's in the black, and I'm in the green/black/blue...
H and I went to college together at this teeny tiny women's college in the middle of nowhere. We had mutual friends but weren't friends ourselves. She was the bible study leader and extremely outgoing and energetic. I was (according to her) a slacker party girl skinhead pot smoker. (In my defense, I had shaved my head, and did slack off with classes but still made all As and never smoked pot.) After graduation she stayed in town for a summer job and I stayed in town to wait for my girlfriend at the time to come back in the Fall. All of our mutual friends left town and we started hanging out together. Within a few weeks we were both confused about why it was we were so interested in each other and dreaming about each other and going above and beyond to do nice things for each other. H all of a sudden didn't want to drive home in the dark, so she would stay over... We finally talked about our feelings and the rest was history. That was 14 years ago this weekend! She still lets me warm up my feet in between hers, just like we did then.
My first day on the job, DH was suppose to be my field trainer. He was on the last day of training another group and was doubled booked. I started that day with another person. I kept hearing about DH and around lunch time came to the office to introduce himself and apologize for the scheduling error. When he walked through the door I was taken aback. Over the next few weeks we worked together as he was training me on the job. I was so drawn to him which was really off for me. During work one day he says "I'll be back in a bit, I have to get my daughter into the park" I replied "oh going to play today huh? Wish I could just leave and play in the parks" He said " Why don't we after work today?' I said sure. We met at the Hollywood Studios and then went to Magic Kingdom. The more I hung out with him, the more I liked him: a lot. We met up with his daughter later (she is grown) and by the end of the night she was asking him if we were dating. He was very cautious as his 2 marriages were not good ones. We said we would take it slow but within 2 weeks of that unintentional first date we were living together. On our 1 and a half anniversary he proposed after the fireworks at Cinderella's Castle. We married in the rose garden next to the Castle 6 months later. Sunday was the 6 year anniversary of that magical first date and we have been married for 4 yrs. We have lived in FL, TN and now Canada. It sure has been a whirlwind. It seems to have gone by so fast and yet I feel like I've been with him forever
My wife and I couldn't be more opposite really but never have I felt so completed by someone. Make way for the classic Jerry McGuire line, right?! ;-) Our personalities really compliment one another perfectly. I also never imagined how quickly we'd build a family and how much more I would just fall in love with her watching her parent our children. Our relationship has truly grown only stronger and bigger since welcoming our first child into this world. And much as Jessica said, when there are ever down times we easily reflect back on our incredible, whirlwind meeting and romance and see how this couldn't be anything but simply meant to be.
I really do think my wife is amazing and I can't brag about it enough...I love our life and look forward to all of our incredible journeys to come. The best thing yet, is that she makes me feel the same.
October 2014
EMG -- you two are totally cute together.
A&J -- that is amazing that she left a prof. position to be with you.
DH and I met online on a Bulletin Board very similar to this one. He lived in NYC and I was in law school in WI. That one was for the Indigo Girls (how lesbian, I know). We started talking online, then we started PMing each other. Then we started calling each other. The first time we talked on the phone we just kept going and going until an hour had gone by without any awkward silences. This turned into talking for a couple hours everyday. I was flying out to NYC a few months later to see my high school best friend and have some job interviews. DH convinced me to change my plans to fly out a week early and go on a road trip with him to meet up with other people from the board and go to some Indigo Girl concerts. That trip changed my life. When we met in person we were just completely in tune with each other. We were connected and it felt right. Some people we met on this trip asked us how many years we had been together. Our answer was about 24 hours. We met each other and some people who are still good friends on that trip. We hung out for the entire 2 weeks I was in NYC. Leaving was the hardest thing I had to do b/c I wasn't sure what was going to happen with us being across the country from each other with me still in law school. We obviously made it work. We talked every night on the phone and flew across the country every few weeks for a year. In August of the next year, I moved to NYC and moved in with him. We have been through a lot together, two cross-country moves, career changes, a gender change and now we are married with a child. We have been together for 9 years and technically just celebrated our 1st anniversary this year (really we have been married 4 years, but we got married on 2/29).
A&J, thanks for posting this. Its nice to remember where this crazy baby-wrangling all began.
Emg-- great photo and love your scandalous story;-);-). Some things are just meant to be
Charcoal eyes--I think it's awesome that you went for it and took that road trip-- can you imagine if you hadn't???
Crazy how many of us are at the five year point:-).
Thanks again for sharing. Everyone's stories are so important and special.
Oh and I have to add that every year we go back to Lake Chelan where we met 5 years ago. Last year was our first year with a baby. This year it will be with our daughter and baby on the way! We have a picture that was taken about an hour after we met, I'll have to upload it with a picture from this year:-)
I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
Progesterone therapy and baby aspirin daily
Two miscarriages in between (August 2012 - same donor as Maggie, and December 2014 with husband)
Maggie
Moni and I met about 15 years ago in our freshman year of college. It was a criminal justice class. There were 2 doors into the classroom...one in the front, one in the back. I sat in the VERY back row and got to class VERY early (as usual). Moni showed up about a minute before class started (this is also typical). I saw her walk in the front door and I thought she was pretty much the cutest thing I had ever seen. So as soon as she sat down (in the 3rd row!!!) I saw that there was a seat open in front of her. I jumped up, ran out the back door and in the front door and sat down in front of her. She actually started talking me almost immediately. She told me she liked my bag, and my water bottle (HA!). Then at the end of the class she tapped on my shoulder...I turned around...and she said "hey, if I ever skip class can you sign my name on the attendance sheet?" I was instantly irritated and said "Um, NO!". BUT, I still thought she was the CUTEST. And we ended up having some mutual friends, so we saw each other at parties...and by the end of the semester we were great friends. We actually both had girlfriends at the time. We didn't actually start dating until years later. Our relationship was so so fun. Monica was and is the person I feel the most comfortable around. This probably doesn't sound that romantic...but I knew I loved her when I had the stomach flu and I wanted her around the whole time. We actually broke up for awhile (years actually). Mostly because I wasn't ready to be in a super serious, long term relationship. We moved to MA together as friends, then I moved to Cali, then back to PA, then back to MA, then back to PA (I moved back and forth a lot). We both dated some other people. But we stayed the best of friends. We were both single at the same time a few years ago and I went to visit her for her birthday. I made her dinner. We ate. She was cleaning up and I said "you should probably kiss me now". She did. As cheesy as it sounds (and I can't even believe I'm going to write this)...it was like no time had went by. We aren't perfect, and neither is our relationship. But I can say, with 100% certainty that Moni is the most phenomenal human being I have ever met. I can only hope she feels the same way about me.
And then, my junior year of college, things began to change. For one thing, I finally noticed that I liked girls. And at the moment I realized this, I also knew that I loved her. That spring we went to an Indigo Girls album release show in Atlanta together and then hiked some. She stayed in my dorm for a night, where I (now infamously) said that we could sleep in the same bed but chickened out and added "head to toe, if you like." Yes, Casanova I am not.
Well, that summer we were working the same camp. A few days before campers arrived, we stayed up alone watching a favorite movie (Harold and Maude). At the end of the movie, I grabbed her hand. (Did she grab mine? At this point it's fuzzy, but I think it was me). That sealed the deal. We've been together ever since. We've known each other 16 years, been together 10, and lived together 9. I feel so incredibly lucky to have fallen for my best friend.
A&J - Yours and my stories have some similarities.
Here's the story: I lived and taught in Portland. I had been married (miserably) less than a year to someone I met in college and had just separated. My ex-husband was a mistake from which I learned a lot, but that's another story altogether. Having just separated and knowing in my heart I wanted a divorce and should have never gotten married in the first place, I was in no state of mind to want to meet someone else or start anything of that sort.
It was an unseasonably warm, even hot, Saturday night in May. My ex-husband was gone to Seattle with friends for the weekend and I had no big plans. I was happy to have finally taken the leap to say I was unhappy with him and wanted out, etc.
I had just gotten my hair done and a pedicure, and was sitting around on this beautiful night with no plans and wanting to do something. So I thought, "I'll go have dinner by myself downtown, why not." I rarely, if ever, go out on a weekend evening by myself. I went downtown, had dinner, then didn't feel like coming home just yet. I can't say why. I was close to a club where I used to go dance and party with my friends, and dancing sounded like fun, so I went in for a bit. I had a drink and danced a little bit - it was still pretty early and I didn't plan to stay much longer. There was a huge round bar in the middle of the club and I hung there for about 10-15 minutes to have a drink and some water. The club then started to get busier and so I planned to go to the bathroom and head out. If DH were telling the story he would claim that I was "eye f*@%ing him from across the bar", but truthfully I didn't even see him. (I think he saw me and wanted to talk to me, but he'll never admit that
Sometimes, I think, what compelled me to go out my myself that night? What if I hadn't? Where might I be today...?
But here is where I'm meant to be.
Turns out my friend had given me the wrong SN. So after engaging in conversation with the CORRECT girl, A pops back up. Apparently she had gotten bored and was looking through my AIM profile. I was feeling very liberated having just graduated from HS, so I had updated my AIM profile "about me" quiz to now include that I was a lesbian. She told me she was going to take the quiz, to which I replied "Well, I'm here if you need cheat."
Shortly after finishing the quiz, which she did remarkably well on for not knowing anything about me, she said "so you're into girls, huh?" This sparked the infamous 14 hour conversation. The next day we started talking on the phone, which we continued to do for about a week. Then we met up in person, and shared our first kiss that same day. It was an AMAZING summer romance.
I went to college in August, which was 5.5 hours away. Within 2 weeks, I realized that going so far away was NOT for me, so every weekend I traveled 250+ miles one way home. To her.
I transfered to a closer school the next school year. By that time, she had graduated from HS, and was going to a local community college. My mom and I had a "falling out" of sorts that year, so I ended up moving in with her and her family. Which was LOTS of fun.
The next year, she transfered to the college I was attending, and we decided to room together on campus, which we did until we graduated.
After we both got settled into our respective careers, we started talking about having a family. I started stalking these boards. When we were finally ready to try, we hit the jackpot! Now I have a wonderful family!
We've had our share of ups and downs, but shes been with me from the begining and I know she'll be with me forever. She's a wonderful mother to our son and my best friend. We just celebrated our 9th anniversary at the end of June. A lot has come from that happy accident!
4.5 years!
Ali and I met the summer of my senior year of high school (June 2007). She was 23, I was 17. She had been through college, had a 'real' job and had already had a pretty serious relationship (ended several months before we met). Anyway, my mom was actually dating one of her really good friends. He worked for Ali's dad and they became friends outside of work. I came home from work one night and she was sitting in our living room hanging out with my mom and the guy my mom was dating and another friend of theirs. Didn't think twice about her, I was straight and had a boyfriend of a few months. Fast forward a month or so and I realized (through Myspace, ha myspace!) that she and a friend of mine (the same age as her) were getting a house together as roommates. It was great. My boyfriend and I started going over to hang out and we developed a great friendship. Over the course of a few weeks the text messages between us got pretty flirty and I was SO confused about everything that had happened in my life up to this point because I was STRAIGHT! Broke up with my boyfriend as soon as I detected the flirting and the rest is history. I told her I wanted a relationship with her because I simply couldn't stop myself from having feelings for her and she obviously felt the same. My mom found out, kicked me out (at 18). She had a place and room for me so I moved in. We eventually got our own apartment because it got awkward having a roommate. Then in December 2008 we closed on our house and September 2010 started TTCing, brought our son into the world on August 2011 and are now TTCing #2 in July of 2012. My, my, my, where has the time gone. We will celebrate our 5 year anniversary October 3rd
1. I don't listen to the Indigo Girls, either! I mean, they're okay, but I do not go out of my way for them. In my "fan" days, my girl was Tori Amos. Like I was on message boards dissecting her lyrics, and I've seen her in concert 7 or 8 times (can't remember right now). R doesn't like her all that much, though, haha. In fact, she calls her Tori Anus!
2. cocobay, has your mom come around? I can't remember. I know Ali's family is supportive.
HAHA! love this!
@cocobay - i'm sorry you had to deal with that from your mom. pretty sad.
@EMG-REL - tori amos was my gay crush in high school. now it's natasha khan (of bat for lashes) or audrey tautou (amelie).
I am truly a lucky girl!
Great thread BTW
Pure Perfection
I never dated anyone who liked her until recently, so I've gone to her concerts alone most of the time. I've seen her around the same number of times as you. She's still my girl, though I don't have the time and energy to obsess like I did in college.
DP and I met at work. I was her boss and she is 9yrs younger than me. DP is very quiet and almost withdrawn when you first meet her. I am rather boisterous to the point of being obnoxious sometimes. DP hated working with me. I didn't really talk to her that much but really saw something special in her... just mostly that she was a really good person and great vet tech. Then the night of Princess Diana's funeral, I stayed up all night watching it on TV and we talked all night long. A great friendship had started.
At the same time, I was talking on line to a gentleman in England. I had a huge crush on him but he didn't return my feelings. But we were still great friends. 3yrs later, I wanted to visit him but he too was a very quiet person and was a little afraid of my boisterous personality. I said "Hey, you should talk to J, she is a lot like you and will tell you I am not so scary." They started talking and 3 months later we flew to England with plans only to meet him the first day and then take our own trip. The first meeting went great and we made plans to meet up at the end of the trip as well. The next 10 days were the most amazing of my life. I smiled so much that trip that my face hurt. We consider our anniversary to be the 3rd night of that trip where we bought Celtic rings at the jewelery shop in Edinburgh Castle and exchanged them in a slightly drunken state in the castle hotel we stayed in that night. It wasn't a romantic pledge, but one to just always be there for one another. On one of the last days of the trip, we had met back up with our friend in London and they were walking slightly ahead of me and I had this sudden urge to just grab her around the waist and pull her in to me and kiss her. I always thought of myself as straight but I just had this overwhelming feeling of love for her. On the plane ride home we held hands the whole way and it just felt so natural.
We started dating right after that and 9mos later she moved in with me after moving out of her college apt. It was a little confusing at first. We both had feelings for this guy still but couldn't deny the intense feelings we had for one another. DP had a harder time dealing with the label of "lesbian" and I let her go to England by herself for a week to sort out her feelings for our friend. That was a really rough time but there was never a doubt in my mind that I would always be there for her no matter what. There wasn't an "ah-ha" moment, but our relationship grew stronger while her relationship with him faded.
We have been together 12.5yrs now. I believe the strong friendship that we started out with is what makes our relationship so great. We both make each other better people. She is still the "greatest person I know" (which is what I told everyone about her even before we were friends). And we laugh that we went to England to meet a guy and ended up with falling in love with each other. (and to add insult to injury, we took a friend of ours to England with us the next year to meet him and she too came out as a lesbian shortly afterwards. Poor guy thought he was so cool hanging out with 3 girls... LOL). And now we have two kids and a home and I know that she will always be with me, just like we pledged all that time ago in a castle in Scotland.
And here is a picture of the very room where we made that pledge
Except at the time, it wasn't the bedroom part of the suite and we drunkenly dragged the king sized mattress from the other room up 5 steps so we could sleep in this room (because it was more "castle-y")
Haha, I had some friends who thought she was okay, so I was normally just dragging people to go with me. Ditto the time and energy issue (though I'm sure you have much less of both than I do with your three angels). Plus, I don't really like her new stuff, anyway. Sorry to Tori-jack the thread. :P
ugh, yeah, I am not such a fan of the newer stuff, but when someone's music changes your life, how can you just quit? Oh Tori, I just can't quit you.
And so this is on topic, here's how I met all of my significant (just counting the very significant ones) others:
1. first job, worked together
2. in line for RENT tickets
3. met online, became friends, lived together as roommates my 2nd time in college then more
4. game night at a friend's house (and just to show we're good lesbians, an ex introduced us!)
5. and I'm currently dating someone I met in a moms' group!
Eight years ago in Sept, my DW and I were set up by two different mutual friends who kept trying to get us together for at least a year or two. We were both reluctant to meet for several reasons. You know... when straight people say "you've got to meet my lesbian friend... you have so much in common" we didn't take them very seriously. Ya right... we were the only two lesbians you know... so of course we should be together.
We finally did meet on a blind date when one of these "friends" (my boss at the time) ran into DW in the grocery store and yet again said we should meet and she would arrange for us three to meet for lunch. DW didn't like this particularly annoying "friend" (my boss) and didn't want to have lunch with her, so she called me herself and left me a message about people keep trying to get us to meet so do you want to meet for lunch or something? I called her back and we scheduled to meet a few days later for lunch (without my boss).
I am so thankful to have Marcy in my life. We were each other's firsts in so many ways, and I can't imagine my life without her.