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what do you say when...
A&J
Posts: 1,825
Do you have a go to phrase or comment for when someone asks if your child's ____________( fill in the blank) comes from his/her father?
I'm often asked if Olivia' s curls come from her dad. At the Y a lady commented " oh, she must look like daddy". I usually just say something like " its hard telling which side she gets her features from" or once I said " we just think they are Olivia' s curls"
When asked specifically about her dad we both are always quick to say she has two moms. However, when it comes to these random questions when you really aren't or are not trying to engage in conversation what do you say? I want to be certain that I am setting a good and proud example for Olivia in how to answer these random questions.
I'm often asked if Olivia' s curls come from her dad. At the Y a lady commented " oh, she must look like daddy". I usually just say something like " its hard telling which side she gets her features from" or once I said " we just think they are Olivia' s curls"
When asked specifically about her dad we both are always quick to say she has two moms. However, when it comes to these random questions when you really aren't or are not trying to engage in conversation what do you say? I want to be certain that I am setting a good and proud example for Olivia in how to answer these random questions.
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Interesting to note - ds1 never, ever asked about a Dad and he's 5 now and has always been around kids with hetero parents. As a result ds2 doesn't ask either. I'm not sure why that is but I'm happy about it.
Personally I would not mention a Dad in any way shape or form. Kids are easily confused in their formative years - as we've found with other areas - and who knows what they could be telling classmates or other adults? Best to stick to the absolute truth IMO.
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I'm thinking that while it may lead to more questions I may just say " yep, the curls must come from her donor". While she obviously does not have a dad, she does have a biological side that was contributed by her donor and I don't want this to e something awkward for her to know or consider.
It may sound like I'm thinking and looking into this too much, but I guess it's just because I want Olivia to be comfortable and proud of everything about who she is and how she came to be. I also do not want that fact that she possibly has physical or other features from her donor to be something she or our friends and family feel awkward or that it is something to be hush- hush about.
Well, like most things, straightforward, direct and honest seem to be best--- even when it is a complete stranger that I do not want to have a conversation with because I'm just trying to get us out of our swimming suits and into dry clothing, or picking out some apples at the grocery store or whatever
It might be a bit different for us, as a lot of people who don't know us assume Ivy is Tims biological child, but we just make it part of normal, everyday conversation. When people comment on her blue blue eyes, we say something like "yep, it was pretty fun choosing a donor with the same eye colour as mom to increase the chances of another blue eyes beauty in our family, when else do you get to "shop" for certain features?!" Keep it light, then become informative if people ask more questions. Thats just us though, we are very upfront, out there, blunt people who would rather be open then have people speculate... we live in a small town and it's pretty common knowledge that Tim is sterile, so we'd rather be the ones to open with "we used a sperm donor" then have them wonder, and come up with their own conclusions.
Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013. 6th baby, so much love!
miss manners answered this question recently.
Maddey is the first one to tell people she does not have a dad. Funny story the other day at school everyone was saying how their Dad's made their breakfast and Maddey said "I don't have a Dad, so my Mommy made my breakfast".
DD - 11/16/2008
TTC #5 IUI at RE 11/4, medicated cycle. Yay!!!!!! It's a BFP!!!!!
Baby Hunter born in July 2012